Ah ha moments -- sweet pleasures

"Partake in some of life's sweet pleasures. And yes, get comfortable with yourself." Oprah Winfrey

Day 197 AS

Happy birthday Mom wherever you are... I miss you a lot. You'll be glad to know it's a glorious day today! The sun's shining brightly and there's a cool breeze in the air -- I wonder if you requested it just for us? I like the thought if nothing else.

I'm doing great! I haven't been happier in ages. Support group last night was all about reminding us of the 10 good habits of successful weight loss maintenance. I'm still losing, but practicing those habits will no doubt stand me in good stead when the time comes that that has stopped. The three most important of the ten are exercise, 3 meals a day with no snacking and if you must snack for it to be a protein drink or a protein bar, and finally, no beverage with the meal and for at least an hour afterwards. Other than the first I'm doing great already -- exercise will no doubt always be the bane of my existence.

I'm officially on the record for minus 182 pounds now from last April's high weight, 60 before and 122 after surgery. John and I have had a chance to enjoy several day trips now in our couple of weeks of co-unemployment. Yesterday we went to Lake Berryessa but made a wrong turn and ended up at Lake Hennessey instead -- didn't even know it existed but it was beautiful and a lovely drive to boot! We ended up in St. Helena for a late lunch. My increased mobility is such a joy. John didn't have to drop me off and then hunt for a parking place -- I could easily keep up with him as we walked all over the down town area seeking our best option. Afterwards went to Dean and Deluca and drooled all over the fabulous food and wine offerings -- and I felt very grateful that I could live vicariously through the drooling on old memories without feeling any temptation to buy the place out and take all that decadence home!

I've had a few more fun ah ha! moments in the last couple of weeks too. The latest was today -- I enjoyed a yummy lunch with some former colleagues (it was great seeing them!). One wanted to sit in a booth -- I didn't think I could do it -- I haven't sat in one in an awfully long time because I didn't fit. And guess what? I do now!! :) It was nice having a cushy seat instead of one of those hard chairs.

I went clothes shopping in stores for the first time in years and years too. What an interesting experience. Being "normal" is an odd feeling -- realizing you have to try clothes on because even within a given vendor sizing is inconsistent. After trying on 40 "interview" garments, I came home with only three and felt a little disappointed. The next day I joined a friend at her home to try on her old "interview" clothes -- she's lost a bunch of weight over the last year and a half herself, is my height, and her high weight was about 10 pounds more than I am now. I discovered my problem looking for clothes the day before trying hers on -- I was looking at things that were too big! What a bizarre thing that was -- I was sure I wouldn't fit in any of her beautiful clothes when I saw the sizes, and surprised myself by finding many already fit and many are really, really close to doing so. She sent me home with suits, silk blouses, an evening gown and lots, lots more... What a wonderful friend!!! And better yet, we have similar likes in apparel -- I would have bought these myself had I come across them first and they had fit me back then.

My friend's timing was perfect as I had my first interview this Monday with a company that I'm very interested in and I believe is interested in my skill set too. I have been told I'll be invited back for further interviews which I take as good news. There are a couple of exciting opportunities, so fingers crossed!!

Another random ah ha moment: when John drives the Volvo he sits back really far and pulls the steering wheel back to meet him. In the past when he hasn't pushed the steering wheel back in and I get in the driver's seat it's bruised me badly as there wasn't enough room for my abdomen -- my key automatically moves the seat forward to my sitting position, but the steering wheel movement is manual. I got in the car after John one day and took off driving and it took a few minutes to even realize the wheel was too close to me -- my arms were not extended as I like yet there was a ton of space for my abdomen... it sounds odd, but it was a big ah ha moment for me.

And yet another random ah ha moment: my upper body strength has totally gone to pot. Not too surprisingly, Fern jumped on the thought in my last blog post of inviting me to her gym to check it out. I surprised myself a few times there -- some happily so. One less than happy was my upper body strength. Between the years and years of carpal tunnel syndrome issues, tendinitis, and that awful shoulder injury a couple of years ago, I've become quite a weakling. I'm going to have to add some strength training to my cardio work along the way here. I couldn't even do a shoulder press on one of the machine's without assistance -- even with zero added weight. Yikes. And we all know what a pain avoider I am -- I'll definitely be trying something different in the near term. Some of the good ah ha's though included finding how strong my legs are -- not surprising given all of the weight they've supported I suppose, but still nice to see -- and the fact that I could actually sit on some of the machines that I didn't think I'd fit on. I definitely have a warped perspective on my physical size -- I think my body's larger than it is now. It's one thing to know that, and another to really believe it. I suspect that one's going to take me quite a while to synthesize.

Tomorrow we're headed up to the Sierra Foothills to pick up wine for the next Tasters Guild dinner. The wildflowers should be spectacular -- fingers crossed. We did a day trip to Lodi last week and enjoyed lots and lots of mature lilacs in full, glorious bloom along with the first pink dogwood I've ever seen. Magnificent!! Fern and Roger are playing hooky with us which should make it even more fun. There's a cool day-lily nursery up there we'll visit -- not sure if they'll be in bloom yet, but no doubt there will be some grand sights to see.

Thank you for your continuing support and good wishes friends and family... sending lots of love and light right back to you...