Surgery day

In just a few minutes I'll be heading out for my second surgery - this time to remove the extra skin to return my stomach and breasts to "normal." I confess to lots of mixed feelings about this - I am absolutely looking forward to the outcome, but anticipate the next few weeks will be rough. Please send your love and light my way and lend your support to John as he puts up with me through this!

Thanks for being there for both of us...

Both Sides Now

"Something's lost but something's gained in living every day."

An amazing milestone I never thought I'd meet if I live to be 100 occurred today: a medical doctor told me to stop losing weight! Talk about an alternate reality. It's been almost half a century since doctors first started telling me to lose weight... I was reminded that the formula works both ways - the calories in and out ratio matters whether you're trying to gain, lose, or as in my case now, maintain weight. I feel pretty stable now - it's been about a month now since I've lost any weight, so I'm not worried, but he told me that I'll have to add more calories to my diet if I do start to lose any more. I still can't quite wrap my head around this - I wonder if the planets are out of alignment again? ;)

My labs came back great once again this quarter. The A1C hit another wonderful new low of 5.6. I see my endocrinologist in a couple of weeks. He's very conservative so I doubt that he'll let me cut back on my diabetes med any more at this time, but who knows? Perhaps he will. I'm beginning to think perhaps I will be off it altogether some day - not a thought that I've ever really dared to believe... but strange things do seem to be happening. And my thyroid is normal too - good news since we cut that med back last quarter also.

Triglycerides are almost exactly the same - just a wee bit above normal. My LDL/HDL ratio is awesome and showing "below average risk" and my cholesterol/HDL ratio is showing "low risk" now. Numbers can be good, can't they.

Total weight loss on the record now is 256 pounds. That's down 2 pounds in the last ~3 months, so more evidence that things have stabilized. This is good news! I don't think I'd know what to do with myself if any more bones start to show in unexpected places on this crazy new body of mine.

I'm finally feeling like I will come close to, if not meet, a full recovery from last June's fall now too. I am back to walking half an hour without pain and since I started seeing a chiropractor my lower back pain is less frequent and less intense. I truly didn't think those adjustments were likely to help, but it does seem that they are. It's all good. Hopefully this progress will continue.

Food consumption gets easier and easier - and accordingly a bit scarier too. I still have to be careful not to eat too fast, too much, or too fatty, but I can eat just about anything now. The scary part is that I really do need to exercise the habits that I was forced into that first year by myself now. Wow - kind of like a "normal" person - how do you all do this? It's not easy, is it?

Exercise is still a 4-letter word, (I know, not literally), but it is a lot easier now. I'm walking 5 days a week, doing non-impact aerobics one day a week and beginner yoga one day a week. I find myself half-way looking forward to the events even. Another alternate reality moment when I catch myself doing so.

I have been enjoying Sunday bake-athons. I try to make a batch of muffins and a batch of cookies or some other sweet treat every week so there's a more nutritious alternative than what we can find in the average market or bakery for my sweet tooth. I've discovered lots of fun wheat-flour alternatives with more protein and lower glycemic indices. I've given up on crisp baked goods with those ingredients, but if you're into moist complex flavors in your desserts there's a lot to be said for them.

So, you may ask me whether or not a year and a half post-op do I still think it's been worth it? If you do, I'll give you a resounding absolutely! Walking, talking and breathing at the same time are good things. Being able to take public transportation to work is a good thing. Not being able to eat a vast quantity of food isn't so bad... not being able to drink wine is so much less of a challenge than I expected it to be. I've gained so much more than I've lost (weight being the exception of course!) that I have no complaints.

Thanks for your continuing support! I've always loved "Both Sides Now" - there are two sides to everything, aren't there? The older I get, the more I understand this.

Both Sides Now - Lyrics by Joni Mitchell

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say
I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.

Auld Lang Syne - is it right that old times be forgotten?

2007

2004

2003

Happy New Year! And 2011 is indeed a happy one so far. I wish you all you wish for for yourself - and more.

Yesterday was my take-care-of-gail day and the results are grand. I received the numbers from my last set of Labs and everything continues to move well in the health space. My diabetes medication is being reduced again because my A1c was 5.8 - another new (low!) record for me. My thyroid med was also reduced. My triglycerides still aren't perfect but they're down to 156 - another great improvement - I weigh less than that now!! On the record, I've now lost 254 pounds and I feel great.

With any luck at all I'll be back amongst the employed population next week (timing depends on completion of a pretty thorough background check). I will become a commuter, taking BART into San Francisco every day. I feel very fortunate in having had multiple offers to choose from. There were pros and cons to each job, but in the end I selected this one because I was really impressed with everyone I met that I'd be working with, the job sounds fun and interesting, and the benefits are amazing. I will be eligible for retirement compensation (fully vested!) in 15 months and if I stay 10 years will be eligible for retiree medical benefits for both John and I. John has an interview for a short-term contract job today too, so fingers crossed...

As part of the interview process for one of these positions I made my first post-op air trip last week. What a non-event that turned out to be - and that is a very wonderful thing. It's a lot easier to fly when you fit into one seat and can stand in the waiting line to board the plane. I didn't need a seat-belt extender and in fact and plenty of room to spare with the standard belt. I was able to sit in my favorite aisle seat on the outbound flight and the flight attendants and other passengers didn't jostle me once. I could cross my legs and the lap tray didn't stop half way down because there was no tummy in the way. On the way home the flight was fully booked so I had to sit in a middle seat - and neither of my fellow-fliers looked at me with abject horror when I asked to do so. I am truly enjoying these non-events that keep happening. "Normal" isn't half-bad! ;)

Surviving the temptations of the holiday season wasn't too difficult. It was harder than last year when I never felt like eating, but I managed to continue to lose a wee bit of weight and really enjoy small portions of some pretty wonderful things. This year I was able to cook again too - I baked lots of yummy things and I've made several pots of hearty yummy soups. My food restrictions continue with fried and/or greasy food, but I find that very easy to live with. If I can never eat a slice of pizza again, you won't hear any complaints from me. This new body of mine is still a bit alien, but I love it!! I feel 20 years younger - at least!

I think I look a lot younger too. I was interviewed for our weight loss surgery program's newsletter, and they asked for some before and after shots to include. Susan was kind enough to share some that she'd been even kinder in not sharing with me at the time they were taken. You may think it odd (I know I do), but I truly had no concept of just how large I'd become. These will serve as great reminders if I'm ever tempted to go back...

I think it's important to remember old times and old friends. Thanks for your continuing support. I never would have been able to do this without you...

The English tranlation (minimalist version from Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Auld_Lang_Syne) of Robert Burns' Auld Lang Syne

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne ?

CHORUS:

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

And surely you’ll buy your pint cup !
and surely I’ll buy mine ! (GME: my water's generally free! ;) )
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine^† ;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.

CHORUS

And there’s a hand my trusty friend !
And give us a hand o’ thine !
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.

CHORUS