Stretch your heart

"Today, see if you can stretch you heart and expand your love so that it touches not only those to whom you can give it easily, but also those who need it so much." -Daphne Rose Kingma

Day 81

Yesterday turned out to be OK, but a little less than fun. I am thankful that my boss is supportive of my working odd hours because I had to miss some normal working time in both the morning and the afternoon yesterday.

Morning found me back at the cardiologist's office, this time in one of the procedure rooms, having my echo cardiogram. A wee tad uncomfortable, but no biggie. When the tech started looking at my valves I asked her if that was the one that leaked (I've had a murmur since childhood), and she said no. It figures that it was the last one that she got to that turned out to be the leaky one. I asked her how big the leak was and she said "it doesn't leak... it spits." Oh joy -- not only is my heart sideways but it spits. There must be some kind of symbolism there, but heck if I can work it out!

Late afternoon found me losing my battle with the sleep doctor. Although I have very few potential sleep apnea symptoms he is insisting on a sleep study. At least he approved a split-study (meaning only one night instead of two under a sleep microscope), assuming I qualify with my initial readings that night. The big night will be 8/1 -- next Saturday. I am hoping I will pass as this will delay my surgery at least two months if it turns out I do have an issue since if I do I'll have to get a sleep machine of some sort and get used to it before the surgeon will work his magic. The procedure itself sounds odd. The prep instructions are simple -- no alcohol after noon that day (and since I have been off wine for 2.5 months now that's easy) and a shower before going -- no hair products, no body lotions. After I get there I am to change into my pj's and then they'll spend 45 minutes hooking me up to seemingly endless pieces of equipment!! There's a heart monitor, an oxygen monitor (the finger kind), a nose breathing monitor, an eyelid monitor and a brain monitor -- yikes. How the hell can anyone sleep with all that crap on, let alone knowing you are being filmed and observed? When I expressed my concern to the doc about this he said no worries... and proceeded to provide me with 2 sleeping pills -- one for that night and one for another, in case I don't qualify for a split study and have to return for a second night. The split study requires waking me up half way through the night and putting on a c-pap machine to see if that improves the quality of my sleep at all. John has one and it's saved our ability to sleep in one room. Although a bit Darth Vader-esque, it completely eliminates his snoring by rhythmically pushing air into his nose every time he is supposed to breathe. It makes a little white noise while it does so that I find quite soothing. That being said, I still don't want one!!! Not because I care about the Darth Vader image, but because I don't want another 2 month delay. You know me, I am the instant gratification queen.