"Your courage will guide your future"

"Land of the Free" by Harry Chen

"Your courage will guide your future" -- Fortune Cookie Saying

Day 137

An auspicious saying I think in the cookie that accompanied my "last supper" tonight. Knowing that the GI cleansing starts tomorrow I wanted to be sure to eat lightly today. I did not feel like cooking, and John is enjoying an evening with the Pompous Twits wine group tonight, so he kindly picked up some yummy hot and sour soup from our favorite local Chinese restaurant for my supper. It was delicious, and the saying rather fits how I feel about all this.

I do feel courageous for me. I know the next couple of months are not going to be easy, but I am willing to bet it is going to buy me a few extra years of life in better health and less physical pain that I have today. What is a few months compared to that?

I spent a somewhat frustrating five hours doing pre-op junk at the hospital Wednesday; frustrating because surely it should not have taken more than two hours and I had an awful lot of things waiting for me to do at work. I sure wish I was going to be at a different facility. I really do not like the facility in Pleasanton compared to San Ramon or Oakland. I am definitely hoping that all goes wrinkle-free and I am only there two nights. The admissions nurse had never heard of hypo-allergenic linens. I learned 12 years ago that I am allergic to the harsh detergents hospitals generally use, so this is a must. She said she would do some research -- hopefully they will figure it out! More blood-work and urinalysis performed -- you would think I had been poked enough already. And yet another image -- this time a chest x-ray. I am really glad everyone is being so careful, but I cannot help but wonder how much all of this is costing... and how much is too much? I will have to add up all the insurance statements one of these days -- but not today.

I have officially started my leave of absence from work. The first stop on the pre-op visit trail was with the surgeon. She did a great job going through in painstaking detail the procedure and risks again. Her colleague will be assisting -- it is nice to know two surgeons who have both done this many, many times will be in the operating room. The anesthesiologist is more involved than I had realized also. He or she will be inserting a tube with a small balloon into the upper area of my stomach -- essentially to measure off what will become the new pouch. The surgeon has kind of a groovy machine (if you think of this as something being done to someone else :) ) that will simultaneously insert two rows of staples in the stomach and cut between them. Amazing. The largest of the 5 or 6 incisions she will be making is expected to be about half an inch wide. I love laparoscopy. She cautioned me again that she may have to open me all the way -- I am truly hoping this will not happen. She has not had to open anyone all the way up in a few years and I really do not want to break her record!!

I received my new medic alert bracelet yesterday. The RN for the program gave me a brochure for this online vendor and I like their stuff -- they are on the web at http://www.laurenshope.com/ if you are looking for anything along these lines. They engrave a plate and attach clasps on either side so you can change out the bracelet you use with it to match your wardrobe -- kinda fun. For my first one I got purple (what else?) and clear Swarovski crystals. I hope I never need anyone to use it -- but if I do I know I will be glad I have it!

Anyone that knows me well knows that I would not be satisfied with a "last supper" of hot and sour soup. After four months of protein drinks for breakfast and lunch and small dinners, I confess to three lovely splurges this week.

The first was a nice lunch with my colleagues kindly coordinated by Harry. Speaking of Harry, I am going to use my blog to shamelessly ask you to vote for his work. Harry's an amazing photographer. He created the wonderful image at the beginning of this blog entry. He is a finalist in the Aaron Brothers'"Show Us Your America" contest at: http://www.showusyouramerica.com/votes/new. He’s moved from 4th place for Photography yesterday to 3rd place today – let’s see if we can take him to the number one spot he deserves!! You’ll find his photo near the bottom of the page and is titled "Land of the Free." Simply click the radio button next to this photo, enter your email address at the bottom of the page, and then click the vote bottom at the bottom of the page.

The next was a lovely meal was dinner with my friend Belinda. What a wonderful evening! We started at her beautiful home visiting with her Bella -- a terrific cockapoo I freely admit to coveting greatly. We shared a fine feast at an Italian restaurant -- starting with Scoozi and some spicy sausage stuffed mushrooms before splitting some Prawns in Vodka-cream sauce over pasta and finishing with some incredible chocolate thing with vanilla ice cream. We couldn't finish it all but certainly enjoyed what we could.

The final splurge was last night -- a pastrami reuben sandwich. It was hard to choose between french fries or part of an eclair, but I finally settled for a salad instead of the fries and went for the share of the eclair. Surprisingly enough to me, my ability to eat all that comfortably has already changed... but the tastes were delicious. :)

I am finding myself surprising less apprehensive than I expected at this point -- but note there are still a couple of days left to stress out in. I am certain part of the reason is all of the support my friends and family have been providing. I think I am one of the luckiest people in the world! My Jewish friends said prayers for me at Temple as they welcomed the new year; my Christian friends are lighting candles as they say prayers for me at Church, and my alternate-spirituality friends are sending me great ideas for visualizing white, purple and pink light to bathe myself in love as I go under... who could ever ask for more? I am indeed truly blessed by all of you -- thank you.