“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.”

“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” - Arnold H. Glasgow

Day 107

I'm beginning to wonder if I am supposed to be learning a lesson about patience through this process. Smashing a few chickens sounds like more fun right now!!

It is so hard to move from a facility that I loved and trusted to a new one. And having to repeat some of the process is so frustrating!! I had a somewhat discouraging afternoon. I had such high hopes as the office administrator was great on the phone (and in person today)... but that was the only big highlight. I saw the RD first and clearly she has her spiel down pat -- and God forbid she miss a moment of it. She started off by acknowledging I probably learned all this already, but... and then launched in an hour telling me everything I already knew. $120 for that hour -- yikes. Had I not already been through 3 classes and paid for a one on one with a different RD (who by the way only charged $90) it might not have been so discouraging -- this RD was obviously knowledgeable and a clear communicator, but I have been.

Next an hour and a half with the RN that runs the program. A former bariatric patient herself, you'd think she'd be empathetic and helpful... not my impression of her at all I'm sorry to say. She didn't share the fact she'd been through the procedure until about an hour after I got there -- I would have sworn she had no clue about how it felt to be sitting on my side of her desk. Thankfully she blew through the "formal" presentation; however, then she spent seemingly forever reviewing my medical history and sharing all of their center's rules with me. OMG. She kept saying how hard it was to fast track anyone and threw up roadblocks all over the place. By the time she'd gotten through all of the clearances my prior surgeon had required she backed off a little and actually acknowledged how thorough the other program had been.

They're even more thorough though it seems. We'll see if the surgeon adds anything to the list, but right now these are my "new" prerequisites that have yet to be met:

1. "Prove" I've lost enough weight to date. Thankfully this was easy thanks to my wonderful endocrinologist's staff -- they faxed "proof" of my April weight over late this afternoon. The other facility had actually believed me.
2. Do some more bloodwork (sigh). Easy enough, but what a pain. Literally!
   
3. Start recording daily exercise.
4. Increase daily exercise. (OK, this one's fair, and hopefully with that darn wound healed now this won't be as hard as it was).
5. Meet with the surgeon as planned (thank Heaven!) next week and see what else she may require.
   
6. "Pass" the "council" vote for my suitability for the procedure next Friday. The "council" comprises the surgeon, the RD, the RN and the psychologist (at least I know I already passed the psych screening a couple of months ago).
7. Spend $200 to take their on line class (and pass the exam) to make sure I understand what I'm getting into. This is probably the single most annoying part. Like I haven't already been to 3 classes in Oakland (that were free by the way) and hadn't just sat through another 2.5 hours of lectures and hadn't already read several books and talked to several people who have had the procedure performed... And oh by the way, I can't give them my money an start on this unless (that word was used several times) I "pass" the "council" vote.
   
8. Get a Pap smear. This is likely the second worst roadblock -- every GYN in the area seems to be booked solid for a month. Tomorrow I'll try to recruit some help from my PCP and/or endocrinologist in recommending a colleague that they might help plead my case with. One can't help but wonder what the $(@% my cervix has to do with a gastric bypass though...
9. And the worst roadblock of all -- totally impossible in a short period of time and one of the main reason's I'm doing this in the first place -- lose 7" from my girth. Holy cow!! Might as well be 7' (and no, I'm not 7' in circumference yet!). NONE of the literature I've read anywhere has had a maximum girth requirement -- and of course this wasn't a requirement for the Oakland facility. My reaction to this elicited the only moment of semi-empathy she exhibited. She stated that "sometimes" the surgeon makes an exception if everything else is OK and your abdomen is "soft" enough. My widest girth point is below the point where most of the incisions are made on the charts and videos I've seen, and fairly soft IMHO, so hopefully the surgeon will "let me get by" with this. Sheesh.
   

And yes, I know I will get over this frustration and associated anger over the afternoon shortly, but smashing a few chickens really does sound good (at least in theory) right now... perhaps I'll do some mental smashing as I ride my recumbent bicycle for a while later tonight!! And record it!!!