“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

-- Buddha, Hindu Prince Gautama Siddharta

Day 95 AS

What a lucky woman I am!! I feel most fortunate, and grateful there for.

Total food freedom day has arrived. I can now eat anything, even raw vegies and fruit, so salads are now officially back in the mix. I still have problems if I exceed my capacity, but now can have a LITTLE sugar and fat too -- moderation in all things, even moderation.

Christmas yesterday was wonderful. Santa was more than kind. John, on his behalf, provided some photography motivation in the form of a fabulous new macro lens for my big Canon SLR camera and a handgrip add-on for my little Leica. We had a lovely Christmas Eve celebration the night before with wonderful friends and family. My first one with "forced" moderation and it was OK!! I consumed half of a Triscuit with the most amazing mushroom pate that John made -- it was OMG delicious!! Made with porcinis, chanterelles, almonds and cream -- truly delightful. Later I had 3-1/2 Swedish meatballs and a couple of bites of Honey-baked ham (thanks to Fern for reminding me to slow down my eating process and to chew chew chew!!). I passed on all of the herring and other fish, meats and cheeses this year, but I heard rave reviews for John's chef skills, well supplemented by his sous-chef Roger. There is still a ton left, so I suspect I'll nibble on an item or two here or there over the next couple of weeks. The gravlax I'm told set new records for wonderfulness. John attributes it to the extra aquavit he used in the curing process. Of course no aquavit, beer or glogg for me this year -- but John did find a nice still bottled fancy water that I enjoyed immensely, along with the smell of the glogg spices.

Health wise all continues to go well. I saw my internist last week and am now down officially 130 pounds since that scary April high weight -- another 70 would be lovely if I can do it. I'm still plagued by lack of motivation to exercise and know I need to find a way to get into it. Ugh. That's the only way I'm going to do another 70 though I know. My internist also noted I have a ton of nervous energy now (weird to have any kind of energy I must confess after so many years with none!!) and suggested I look into some kind of meditation. There's a Buddhist temple in the hills about 20 miles from here. Her husband took a class there and really enjoyed it so I may check it out. The only issue I have with it is that it's Thursday evenings from 7:30-9:30 and I turn into a pumpkin at 9. We'll see!!

The gout finally seems to be under some degree of control -- yay. I can actually wear soft leather shoes again without wanting to scream in pain by the end of the day. My blood pressure is awesome -- no more dizziness or exhaustion. Cholesterol's a little high, but all my docs are attributing this to the period of rapid weight loss -- all that fat floating around in my blood instead of settling into my body waiting for excretion apparently. My blood sugar's still a little high, but my endocrinologist increased my oral med dose and it's almost right now... One oral med vs. the olden days of two plus max dose of insulin is quite a wonderful change in my mind -- one I could be happy with forever if we don't get any better than today's med routine. Of course, this is another big reason to psych up for the dreaded exercise thing -- that would help both the cholesterol and the blood sugar.

All in all, although this hasn't been my favorite year, I have to say it's been a good one for me. I'm so glad I made the decision to have the surgery. There are times I emotionally wish I could just sit down and eat a ton of some wonderful thing or the other, but the physical difference in my digestive system prevents me from making that bad choice. Feeling so much better, and having so many dramatic improvements in my overall health have definitely been worth the (fortunately fairly infrequent) moments of longing for the olden days. The other awesome benefit is the improvement in John's longevity that's followed -- he's lost a lot of weight trying to help me eat more healthily and looks great!! We're going to have to save our pennies in the first months of the year to buy both of ourselves new wardrobes. :)

Good news!

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” -- Anne Frank

Day 79 AS

I hadn't realized it's been so long since I posted! Apologies to those who've been asking...

I saw my surgeon yesterday and my progress is astounding! I'm down 124 pounds now since my April high. She calculated I've lost 58% of my excess body weight. My blood tests came back great overall -- normal kidney and liver functions, calcium, B12, iron and other vitamins are normal (a concern with this procedure -- looks like my supplements are working!). My cholesterol was good although triglycerides a little high but that's to be expected with rapid weight loss I'm told. My fasting blood sugar's a little high too, but I test every day so knew that already. The surgeon was still amazed it was so close to normal with only one oral med now -- vs. two in the past and massive doses of insulin. I do so hope the insulin days are over... time will tell, but so far so good!

I was having problems with low blood pressure and those are now gone. I have a lot more energy as a result and no more dizzy spells -- woohoo. Still some annoying gout issues in my big toe, but I'm trying a different med now and it's definitely better. Hopefully after the next few months that will get back to normal too.

Thanks to my office neighbor, the headaches that have been plaguing me at work due to the fluorescent lighting may now be at an end -- fingers crossed. She had the great idea of removing the lights above my desk. That helped a ton, but the lights in the hallway still led to a low level headache. To the rescue once again, Robin loaned me a big umbrella that we set up in my line of vision to the hall lighting and voila -- not one headache today for the first time since I returned to work. Go Robin!! This is saying a lot as the stress level generally totally sucks at work right now, so headache free in spite of that is totally awesome.

I went out to lunch for the first time today with another wonderful colleague, Belinda. What a great time we had! The server was concerned that I wasn't enjoying my meal as I still eat so little, but it was delicious -- no worries. I felt quite odd telling her I just don't eat that much -- never something I ever thought I'd say. I drove -- still paranoid that seatbelts won't fit, even though intellectually I'm pretty sure most will now. I've been enjoying the little milestones as different accomodations for my size that I've made have been going away -- Belinda pointed out one I didn't even know was gone now, that being the ability to cross my arms over the steering wheel as I crank into a parking place. In the past my arms would be limited pretty much to the bottom of the steering wheel, likely because I had to sit back so far to fit behind it. I've had to move my seat closer to the wheel a couple of times now!

Catching up on a great past event -- Thanksgiving. Our visit with my dad and his wife was fantastic. It was so great seeing him!! We went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant the night before the holiday. I enjoyed some yummy Pollo de Caldo (their concept of a chicken and vegie soup) for that dinner and a couple of subsequent lunches. John outdid himself with Thanksgiving supper. He brined a fresh free range turkey using Alice Water's famous recipe, originally shared with us by our awesome home-chef friend Carol. He made some traditional stuffing, his now-famous ancho-chili sweet potatoes, perfect gravy and a Splenda-based pumpkin pie. I made some Splenda cranberries and found both of the Splenda dishes surprisingly tasty. I did exceed my half-cup collective limit by a bite or two and paid the price for a short time afterwards, but it was totally worth it. I learned my lesson and kept in line with leftovers. One of my favorite leftover creations of John's was a 1/8 of an Ak-mak cracker with turkey and low-fat jarlsberg melted over the top -- yum yum.

We hosted our first dinner party post-op last week in honor of John's birthday. It was great seeing everyone. I was worried about how I'd deal with 4 courses, but it turned out to be a total non-event. I am still seemingly full all the time so simply passed on appetizers, (in spite of how good they looked), had my normal meal portion of the entree and passed on the cheese course and dessert. I experimented with a Splenda flourless chocolate cake for me and it was a nightmare -- glad John picked up a decadent "real" one for everyone else. I guess I just need to practice modifying recipes a bit more. Fortunately no worries as I wasn't at all interested in dessert as it turned out -- another quite odd feeling for me. John opened some lovely (as I was told) old wines that everyone enjoyed. I'm glad I have no interest at all whatsoever in wine still and hope that continues, given the negative consequences for me after having had this procedure. The only downer of the evening is that it was one of my "bad" days -- I seem to have one a week or so where I just feel generally crappy. Thank God for such terrific friends though. I had to go lay down for a few minutes after the entree and when I got back up all of my lady friends were in the kitchen calmly (and wonderfully!) taking care of clearing the course. I am such a lucky person to be surrounded by so many awesome people.

Speaking of awesome people, John remains the awesomest. I'm so glad I broke that promise to myself to stay away from men for life a couple of months before we met! :) My life would be so sad and empty without him. He finished an incredible exterior holiday light display last week. He received the best ever compliment too for it. A lady had stopped her car in front of our home at dusk. He was rolling the trash cans to the curb and given it's a little odd for someone to do that around here he checked to make sure everything was OK with her. She had a couple of young kids with her and responded that all was well, they were just waiting for Santa to wake up. We have had a very jovial Santa blow up for many years now (some of you may remember the year some hoodlum slashed him and I had to stitch up his wounds. I'm extra glad I did so now!). Sure enough a couple of minutes later the timer switched him on and he lit up and blew up and "woke up." They stop by every night on their way home from day care to see Santa wake up -- how cool is that? :)

I truly hope you are enjoying this holiday season. There's so much to be thankful for. I love the Anne Frank quote at the start of this blog entry. I hope we all find our true potential.

“When you are in the valley, keep your goal firmly in view and you will get the renewed energy to continue the climb.”

-- Dennis Waitley

Day 58 AS

Not a lot of change other than down a couple more pounds and the good news that I'm finally starting to get back my stamina, due in some part I think to normalizing my blood pressure. My internist switched me to a less powerful med at its lowest dose -- and at first that made me go even lower. She had me cut that in half (no mean feat as the tablets are the tiniest ones I've ever taken to start with!) and that seems to be doing the trick. I haven't had a dizzy spell in several days and I am starting to feel more energetic -- yay.

The lighting at work is still making me want to rip my hair out and scream at my inability to cope with it. I have a new incandescent lamp on my desk and a new glare screen on my monitor, so am hoping, hoping, hoping that this helps. Fortunately I can do a lot of my work remotely, as long as I can connect to a network and have a telephone available, so I continue to work at home part of the day.

I saw my endocrinologist a couple of days ago and we're increasing my oral med at night in hopes of getting my morning tests back under 100. The good news is that after a couple of days it's down to 125 again, so we're close. I'll try it a couple more days and if it doesn't make it there I'll increase my morning dose also. The great part of this is that if successful, I'll be able to continue without insulin and without a second oral med... a great improvement from my pre-surgical state! I'll be doing kidney function tests again in a couple of weeks and am hoping they come back normal as this particular med can sometimes affect them.

More good news (from my perspective at least!)!! "Food freedom" day arrived a couple of days ago -- I can eat whatever I can tolerate now (except salads (too hard to digest still the experts say)) which will have to wait another few weeks). Rules are protein first, vegies/fruits next and carbs last, and I can still only eat 3-4 ounces at a meal, but it's nice to have more options. I may just enjoy a spoonful of dressing for Thanksgiving with my turkey. Last night my dad called to let me know that he and his wife will be coming up from San Diego to visit for the holiday so we're really excited. Hopefully this visit will end better than his last one when I had to leave them to rush John to the ER. That was followed the next day by emergency surgery to remove the alien empyema from his collapsing lung... we definitely don't want to do that again!! I'm thinking maybe kicking back, watching the parade and some football may be a lot more fun.

The other nice thing about "food freedom" day was that my restriction on drinking vs. sipping liquids was lifted also. This has cut my vitamin/med taking time in half almost since I don't have to chop everything up into small enough pieces to swallow with a sip of water. After two months that was becoming quite annoying -- particularly in the morning trying to get ready for work in a reasonable amount of time. Yippee.

One last bit of good news to share. This morning we had our annual IT all-hands meeting at the Alameda County Fairgrounds. I had no problem walking and talking at the same time with everyone else -- no breathing issues and no pain. It was AWESOME!! Also AWESOME was the fact that a few colleagues I respect (and like!) well were awarded for their accomplishments in the past year -- one of which even was one of the overall winners -- very cool, and very well deserved. I'm so proud of them!!

Back to work day!

"We don't do a whole lot socially yet, ... but when it comes to knowing you have a friend and a co-worker, it's pretty unique." -- Lisa Stone

Day 44 AS

Another milestone day: return to work day. I was exhausted before leaving the house, but managed to actually make it in at 8 -- my goal. Who would have thought showering, doing makeup and hair, and then dressing, could take so much out of a body? I found myself stopping to rest every 10 minutes or so -- insane. I'm definitely looking forward to getting my stamina back!!

It was lovely walking into my department's area -- the first thing I saw were some beautiful balloons (the crowning glory was a purple and pink dragonfly!) flying high above my desk. I love balloons -- nothing could have been nicer! On top of that, there was a great card and a lovely chrysanthemum plant. What a lovely group of colleagues I have -- I am most fortunate indeed!

The introvert in me had a hard time dealing with all of the attention -- a lot of people came by to welcome me back. I had psyched myself up for the once overs I suspected I'd be getting. I truly appreciated those who were direct and made no bones about it -- not so much the (very, very few) that gave me what I think they thought were subtle top to bottom glances. That being said, it was great catching up with everyone! A lot has changed in almost 7 weeks... and yet, very little at the same time.

The one thing I wasn't at all prepared for was the impact of fluorescent lighting on my eyes. Wow. About an hour after I arrived I had an awful headache that fairly quickly escalated to a blinding headache. And silly me left my liquid Tylenol at home (note to self, bring some in soon!!). At first I thought it was just my normal "I'm tired" headache, but after closing my eyes and trying to relax (which normally dissipates that in a matter of minutes), no relief. I had a couple of meetings after that, which (thank you guys!) my colleagues agreed to have in darkened conference rooms. After those, it went away. Within half an hour of being back at my desk it was back. Yikes. Another note to self -- bring in sunglasses (John suggested old-fashioned accountant's shades!) when next in the office.

One colleague had a plausible theory as to why the lighting may have been bothering me so much -- my senses of smell and taste are still hypersensitive. Perhaps my sense of sight is also?

It's great working with so many concerned, thoughtful folks... I'm going to work from home tomorrow in hopes it will be a pain-free day. Then back to the office Monday, liquid Tylenol and sunglasses in hand! Another note to self -- bring in some V8 as a back-up lunch plan in case you're coming down with a blinding headache during lunch (eating tuna salad, no matter how good it is, is not easy when you're on the border of becoming nauseous!).

A bunch of people pitched in and picked up different parts of my job while I was gone, so I'm incredibly grateful for the fact that the transition back is going to be a cinch from an actual work perspective. Everything's current, so my only catch-up need is to review where everything's at from a status perspective and to pick up the reins once again.

"Exercise is done against one’s wishes and maintained only because the alternative is worse."

-- George Sheehan

Day 41 AS

Back to work in 3 days on Thursday... I'm looking forward to it intellectually, but not quite so much physically. It will be nice to get my brain back to things that are a little more stimulating than Facebook games (although I must say my Mafia Wars and Vampire Wars rankings have improved significantly during this hiatus! :) ). It will be even nicer to see and interact with some of the wonderful colleagues I am blessed with. But... I hope I can make it through a full day physically. I'm glad I'll only have 2 days this week back before the weekend... I suspect it will take a little time to get my stamina back.

My first true "public" outing in months occurred Saturday night as we attended a Halloween Birthday party to help a dear friend celebrate a milestone birthday. I almost didn't attend as it was one of my less-than-good days, (it seems I have around one of those a week), but sucked it up and went anyway. I'm glad I did -- aside from celebrating the special day, it was great seeing so many friends and getting caught up on what's been going on these last few months. I lasted almost two hours -- not too bad!

Yesterday John set up our new Wii game and we both played Wii Fit Plus a while. It was kind of fun, for exercise, surprisingly enough. I was thrilled to not have to modify the balance board. I had been looking at this a few months ago when I was over the weight limit for the game and knew of some work-arounds, so was ready to implement them, but amazingly enough I'm substantially under the weight limit now... woohoo. Not only that, but if the scale is accurate, I'm down another 8 pounds from last Tuesday... not bad.

Now, if we could just get my blood pressure up a little. It's still running around 100/60. I hate to think this, but perhaps the stress of the work place will help later this week... time will tell.

“Learn everything you can, anytime you can, from anyone you can - there will always come a time when you will be grateful you did.”

-- Sarah Caldwell

Day 37 AS

Some great news from Tuesday's blood work: liver function tests came back normal. Although that's what we expected, it's still a relief. We'll never know why they were high last time, but it does seem a reasonable assumption that the trauma of the surgery was a contributing, if not the only, factor.

Some not so great news from my blood work: my uric acid levels are elevatated (10 vs. normal range top of 7). That means that my foot joint pain is probably not anatomical, but gout flaring up. I guess that's better news than not. My doctor told me this is very common with rapid weight loss, and googling confirmed her statement. I suppose that's one of the reasons my surgeon told me the surgery wouldn't help get rid of my gout -- but she didn't tell me it might make it worse. Oh well... the prednisone should help. I just took my third dose and it doesn't ache as badly, but it certainly still hurts. Next week we'll talk about different treatment if need be. The sad side of this are that I've been taking medication twice a day to keep my uric acid levels lower and I haven't had any wine since May, and it's happening anyway. Kind of a bummer -- pain without any of the pleasure ahead of time to make it worth it.

Lest you think me ungrateful, I am very happy the results aren't reversed. I'll take a normal set of liver function tests any day over lower gout results if I can only have one or the other.

The support group meeting was great this week -- over 40 people there! I had my calendar mixed up, so the plastic surgeons weren't there (they'll be there next time). With that many people there were a lot of interesting discussions. One of the useful tidbits for me was the acknowledgment that my broken thermostat is normal. Even though I've only lost 100 pounds so far, it physically feels more like 200 when it comes to temperature -- I am cold seemingly all the time when I feel good now. The post-op only group theme was "change" with a focus on the psychological changes people may/may not have 2 or more years post-op.

"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach."

"The tragedy in life doesn't lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goal to reach." --Benjamin Mays


Day 35 AS

Another exciting milestone on this 5 week anniversary of my weight loss surgery: I have "officially" lost 100 pounds since my high weight in April - roughly 60 pre-op and 40 post-op. Woohoo!

I saw my internist this morning for a follow-up and she seemed very pleased. Even after cutting my blood pressure in medicine in half I'm still running low -- 100/70 today. I have to monitor it twice a day and if it stays here I'll have to cut it in half again... what an amazing thing. Now if only my blood sugar would follow suit -- my endocrinologist and I haven't quite gotten that where it belongs yet. It's lower than it was a couple of weeks ago with the addition of an oral med, but higher than I like it to be. I see him again in two weeks and we'll see what magic he can pull out of his hat then if it's not better. This seems crazy to me as I'm eating so very little, but it is what it is.

My walking's suffered over the last week due to a sore foot joint, so my internist looked at that today. She pondered whether to send me to a foot doctor for a cortisone injection or to try that amazing prednisone for 3 days again and decided to start with the latter. As soon as I eat lunch today day 1 will start. I remember taking this a couple of weeks before surgery and I felt great -- it eliminated all pain in my body for over a week. Hopefully it will do the same again, and by then clear up the inflammation in this joint altogether and I can dodge the cortisone injection bullet -- I hate those!!

The other slightly nagging issue out there was my last set of liver function tests. We're all assuming that it was just a post-op anomaly, but just in case, my internist had me retest that today too. Fingers crossed they come back normal this time...

This is one of those two outing days... late this afternoon is support group. A couple of plastic surgeons are coming to chat with us about that challenge. I'm more than a year away from that, but it doesn't hurt to get the information so I will attend.

My 100 pound "reward" (aside from the health improvements of course) is a Wii system and a Wii-fit plus game. Hopefully this foot will stop being so annoying and I will find the games somewhat motivational. Exercise remains my greatest challenge.

Showering still isn't perfectly normal, but for the second time in a row at least I didn't feel like throwing up after getting out of the shower today -- yay. Still exhausting, but better that than both. As for the nausea I felt every time I brushed my teeth, the good news is that switching back to an old-fashioned manual toothbrush has helped tremendously. Brushing my teeth is a pleasure once again. Ok, that may be an exaggeration of sorts -- at least it's a non-event now and I don't dread doing it.

Ending on a positive note, I had a lovely afternoon Sunday visiting with two of my colleagues. It was great seeing them and catching up on office and personal going-ons. I really appreciate both of them making the time to come over and say hi! I return to work next Thursday -- six weeks after surgery. I'm looking forward to seeing all of the great people I work with -- and hoping by then I won't be so darn tired all the time.

On having a good right hand...

“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.” -- Spoken by Nicholas Cage in "City of Angels"

Day 30 AS

I'll start today with the good news that John's hand surgery today went very well. If you ever need a hand surgeon in the Bay Area, he's batting 1000 -- he did a great job on my right hand last year and seemingly a great job on John's right hand today. Plus he's a really cool guy! And John's Mr. Mellow -- even more than usual. Valium is a good drug too it would seem. ;)

Tuesday was my red letter day -- real (albeit soft!) food -- something I could actually chew. What a relief from the prior four weeks of only liquid and pureed food. I can now report that I can eat processed turkey and low-fat jarlsberg swiss cheese and my new digestive system can tolerate both. I'll slowly add more foods like other processed meats, poached chicken and fish, eggs, cheeses, over-cooked vegetables, over-cooked pasta and over-cooked rice during this 4-week stage. The key is for the food to be soft soft soft. I'm still struggling with getting to my daily goal of 75 grams of protein, so hopefully this will help.

On eating and drinking...

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. ~Voltaire

Day 27 AS

Not a lot to report. Same old - same old. Overall doing pretty well. Dizziness has thankfully subsided, I'm left with just feeling tired all of the time now. Yesterday was a little weird -- I had a hard time keeping pureed foods down, and was kind of sick getting out of the shower (yuck) but that seems to have thankfully subsided today.

The other weird thing is that I'm still not hungry. I know the head-hunger is going to hit me one of these days, but so far, so good. I am eating 3 times a day because I need to -- not because I want to at this point.

Next big milestone is tomorrow -- I get to start eating "soft" foods for a month. Just like a baby, I'm supposed to add one food at a time to make sure I can tolerate it. If it doesn't work (and I shudder to think what that means!) then I wait a week and try it again. John got me some good supplies to try -- an assortment of "processed" meats (recommended as it will be easier to chew to the required applesauce consistency -- I can also eat poached and boiled meats -- ugh), eggs, and some soft low fat cheeses. Ripe bananas and canned fruit (with any syrup washed off) are also on the list, as are overcooked potatoes, sweet potatoes, white rice and pasta. The hard part is that I also have to start the no beverage with meals for the rest of my life phase or for 30 minutes afterwards. I've always consumed tons of water with my meals so this will definitely take some getting used to. Hopefully with the meals only being 3 ounces (3/8 cup) in total I won't miss the water too much.

The number one priority remains getting all of my protein in. I am still struggling to get to my goal of 75 grams/day.

Thanks to John I have found another pureed food I like: smoothies. Yum! Yesterday he made a banana smoothie for breakfast and added some of Elaine's protein supplement -- it was delicious. We tried kefir for the first time with this and found it pretty tasty -- filled with protein. A few days earlier he made a banana strawberry one that was pretty tasty too. One thing I've noticed is that I still prefer "simple" flavors -- not too much spice or too many complex flavors. That seems to be getting better with time, so hopefully in another week or two that won't be an issue any longer.

Get started now.

“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” -- Mark Victor Hansen

Day 22 AS

I had a good visit with my surgeon this morning -- she is pleased with my progress. She confirmed the 30 pound weight loss over the last 3 weeks and said that it's better than expected -- typically this is more like 10-15 pounds. I asked if this was a concern then, and she said not -- that I'm one of the lucky ones whose body seemingly isn't reacting as though it's being starved as many do during the first month, causing them to hang on to some fat. Interesting.

I shared with her also my concerns regarding continuing exhaustion and occasional dizziness, and she agreed with my internist that cutting the blood pressure medication in half should help, but reminded me I will be tired for a couple more months. I also told her about cutting out the cholesterol med until my diet is normalized and she suggested I contact my internist and add this back -- perhaps at a lower dosage. She noted that during rapid weight loss there are a lot of lipids floating through your blood stream so that it might be a good idea to keep on that for the time being. I called her and she agreed, so half dose it shall be.

I also told her that I still can't sleep in bed because when I roll over onto my left side it feels like my stomach's falling out. She reassured me this was normal, particularly for someone like me that carries most of my weight in my abdomen. When I roll over onto my side it puts a lot of stress on the sutures, giving me the sensation of the stomach falling out. She suggested I either wear the abdominal binder when I try to sleep in bed or continue to enjoy sleeping in the recliner for a few more weeks and just don't worry about it -- I think I'll go for the latter!!

She also cleared me to try to ride my stationary recumbent bike now also, as long as I pay attention to how I feel. She suggested I may not be able to ride for more than a couple of minutes, and if that's the case to stop. It will be nice to add something to walking in my exercise repertoire.

Last night John joined me for the support group. It was a good meeting -- lots of good questions from pre-op patients. There was another 3 week post-op patient there (who'd had the lapband rather than the gastric bypass), so the facilitator let us ask about our biggest current challenges. The other 3 week patient is having a hard time with her fluids (thankfully I am not!) so the group gave her some ideas. I mentioned how much I am hating the pureed food in general and the facilitator (an RD) told me not to worry -- stick with fluids if I must. She went on to say most people eat inappropriate pureed foods anyhow, and that it's such a small quantity of food it doesn't really matter. Seems like an odd response to me... I will continue with my common sense approach I think -- the vegetarian soups with added protein powder. I mentioned this issue to the surgeon today and she said getting my protein is the most important thing -- so if I need to drink more milk, eat more yogurt and scrambled eggs, go for it. Just get to my goal of 75 grams as fast as possible. My last couple of days have been 50 grams, so I have some work to do on this. There are 8 grams of protein in a cup of milk and 6 grams in a quarter cup of scrambled eggs, so they are pretty good sources. It's really strange to think in terms of food's nutritional value, rather than just as something that tastes good...

After the pre-ops were excused, the post-ops had a discussion regarding exercise. I know this is going to be the hardest area for me to conquer during this journey. The good news is that my knees are already feeling better -- I don't wince every time I stand up. We each had to talk about our plan individually. The folks that are a year or more pre-op are all regular gym-goers now -- on average 5 times/week. Our facilitator warned us not to start a program we can't commit to -- because once you stop you will gain weight unless you start eating less. I don't see myself as a gym goer to be honest -- we'll have to see what alternatives I can come up with for me. A couple of people start their days off with hour-long walks with their dogs... I wonder if Ali or Cari would like to walk on leashes? :) Somehow I don't see John ever going along with a dog being added to our household...

I met Fern's friend Janet last night at the support group -- that was fun. She looks great 4 months post-op. She is jogging now for the first time in decades -- very fun. She had a lot of the same challenges in her first six weeks that I am having now, so it was encouraging to see her surviving these and moving on to feel better than she has in years now.

One of the interesting differences between Pleasanton and Oakland has been the difference in sizes of patients. I felt a lot more "at home" in Oakland -- there were a lot of patients my size and larger there... in Pleasanton I wonder how some of these people qualified for the surgery in the first place. There were a couple of pre-ops there that I'll be ecstatic if I look as good as they do today a year from now!

Two outings tomorrow -- I'll have to be sure to nap in-between. I can't believe how tired I am after just one small excursion. Wish me luck!

Independence

“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.” --Stephen R. Covey

Day 21 AS

It is great to be independent again -- I drove yesterday for the first time post-op and again today. Yesterday was to the phlebotomist who got it right the first time (yay) and today to my internist.

Climbed on the scale today and... was totally amazed. Since my high weight in April I'm down 89 pounds now -- depending on what you use as my last pre-op weight, I'm down approximately 30 pounds over the last 3 weeks. It's amazing how much you can lose and how quickly when you don't eat much... which is the point after all. Good to see it's succeeding so far.

My internist is making some med adjustments too -- cutting my blood pressure med in half, stopping cholesterol until I start eating "normally" again and cutting out my asthma med (let's see how I do). She thinks my bp is too low now (I never thought I'd hear those words!) and may be contributing to my constant exhaustion and occasional dizziness. Hopefully this will help both!

Another outing this evening -- post op support group. It will be a change of pace -- I'm used to being kicked out of the last hour (reserved solely for post ops) -- this time I'll be staying. It will be interesting to see if the group shares more gory tales (explaining why the pre-ops are excused) or if the facilitator simply wants to leave some time for this group exclusively.

More "outings" planned later in the week. I see my surgeon again tomorrow. Thursday I have my post-op nutrition class -- maybe they'll have some more ideas how to survive this pureed food stage. I'm finding this difficult -- the vegetarian approach with protein powder has made it bearable, but it is still difficult. I was discussing this with my internist today and she suggested I ask if ground meats without pureeing them are OK... I will check that out Thursday.

I see my wonderful endocrinologist Thursday late afternoon. My internist wants me to schedule him monthly, along with her monthly, staggering them by two weeks so I see one or the other every 2 weeks. Makes sense. She warned me there will be lots of blood work ahead as between the two of them and my anticipated weight changes over the next few months we'll be playing with what meds I can reduce vs. cut out altogether while keeping healthy. It is great having an internist now that really wants to be engaged and help me be the healthiest I can be -- she really feels like a partner.

The weather has been crazy today -- right now a fairly gentle rain, but prior to now it's been a non-stop down pour since the wee small hours -- very unusual for October here.

Who knows what tomorrow brings?

Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world where few hearts survive
All I know is the way I feel
When its real I keep it alive
The road is long there are mountains in the way

Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles fly on a mountan high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world below
Where the clear winds blow

Some hang on to used to be
Live their life looking behind
All we have is here and now
All our lives out there to find
The road is long and there are mountains in my way
But we climb the stairs everyday

Chorus

Time goes by no time to cry
Just you and I alone

Chorus

Music by Bernard Alfred "Jack" Nitzsche and Buffy Sainte-Marie; Lyrics by Will Jennings

Day 16 AS

What a crappy wife I am, and what a wonderful husband I have!! I have no idea how I got to be so lucky, but I am certainly not going to complain.

Today is our 26th wedding anniversary. I woke up as John came up to start getting ready for work and he presented me with a lovely card full of sparklies (and we all know how I love sparklies!). He made me some lovely tea and proceeded with all of his morning things. Before he left he made me some Pea Soup Andersen' soup and it actually tasted good with no bad side affects -- woohoo. He had been inspired by the baby food aisle when selecting that particular soup. There were 3 stage 1 flavors, applesauce, squash and pea, so he figured if it was good for people when we learn to eat it will be good for us when we have to relearn how to eat -- and he was right!

Shortly before noon the doorbell rang and it was my favorite florist (La Petite Fleur in P'ton). The florist put together a lovely arrangement at John's direction full of red roses and my favorite rubrum (aka star gazer) lilies.

What a crappy wife I am -- I didn't do a darn thing to let John know how much I appreciate him.

I can now add one more thing to the list of foods that don't puree well: hot and sour soup. Ugh. We tried that for dinner last night, and all I could taste was the vinegar. I think I'll end up trying just vegetarian soups and purees for the next week and a half pumped up with some of Elaine's protein powder. For lunch I took some more of that pea soup and did just that -- and it was yummy. I'm about 1/2 way to my daily protein goal. It's so much harder to do that I thought it would be!

Other than that, nothing new -- still periodically a little dizzy and still a lot tired.

"Look ahead, not back"

“The young sailor at sea was ordered to climb a mast to adjust a sail during a violent storm. He got halfway up, looked down, got dizzy and sick. An old sailor on deck shouted up to him Look up, son, look up. Young sailor looked up, regained his composure, and completed his mission. Moral: Look ahead, not back.” - Unknown

Day 15 AS

Not a lot of excitement to report... I'm feeling a lot less pain but am exhausted seemingly all the time. So much for my big plan to go back to work after two weeks -- silly me. I spent almost all day Monday sleeping, and while I was awake I was dizzy -- kind of weird.

My big treat is an outing this evening to my hairdresser. I am hoping I'll be able to deal OK with a couple of hours in her chair. I am definitely looking forward to a little pampering. John is going to be my escort so I don't have to drive yet. I was a little dizzy getting out of the shower again this morning so I think this is a very good thing.

John made a couple of pureed soups for me last night. I'm finding my taste buds are hyper-sensitive -- he used just a wee bit of tarragon in the chicken with mushroom soup and it is still very strong to me. The soup's good, but 1/2 cup goes a long way now! The other was also chicken based with mexican flavors -- in this case the diced chiles he used are very strong flavored to me. It seems odd -- I usually love really strong flavors -- I guess I need to start thinking in terms of I used to love really strong flavors...

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked"

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked" -- Bernard Meltzer

Day 12 AS

Another fun day, this time thanks to Elaine and Steve who stopped by for a lovely visit with John and I, bringing some lovely fall flowers (in a purple vase no less!!) and protein powder... bless you! :)

That is my next big challenge -- getting up to those 75 grams of protein per day -- I am up to about 14 or 15 now -- it seems like an endless way to go at the moment.

I am continuing to feel a lot better, but did have an uncomfortable dizzy spell after showering this morning. I checked my blood sugar and that was not the problem. Elaine asked me when the last time was that I had consumed any calories and that may well have been the issue. I will try eating something before my next shower to see if that helps. John also asked if I bent my head a lot and I did -- so caution there too I guess.

We had the best dinner last night in remembrance of my beloved God-daughter Allison. She loved Mexican food, so on her birthday every year we consume it in her memory. I was not quite sure how I was going to do that this year, (which would have been her 22nd birthday), until I hit on the idea of getting some good Mexican soup and enjoying the broth. John picked up some lovely Caldo de Pollo from Casa Orozco, portioned out some broth for me and ate the rest himself along with a beef quesadilla -- we were both very happy. I know Binky would be happy to know that thanks to her I had the best meal yet, post surgery. It is great to enjoy food flavors again. I confess to being a little worried about that last week.

This coming Tuesday (in 2 days) marks my graduation to pureed foods -- oh boy. I am almost looking forward to that. Fingers crossed!!

Thanks again to all who have called, stopped by, send emails, cards and other lovely treats. One of my favorite cards has been from Tricia and David featuring "Dr. Dreamy" who was sporting a great big GE surrounded by a heart on his white coat -- loved it! :)

Nap time (again!) now...

PS: A special congrats to the great PMs on the To9! program -- I knew you guys would bring this home today... awesome job!!! Thanks for keeping me in the loop!! I am very proud of you -- you have achieved the seemingly impossible.

“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!”

“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” -- Percy Bysshe Shelley


Day 10 AS

Well, I still have quite a way to go but each day I continue to feel a little better. Today's been my first "fun" day -- John and I both needed to have some blood work done so we had a mini outing this morning to the phlebotomist. Can't say that part was fun (although thankfully I had a great phlebotomist who got me the first time -- yay -- clearly the blood thinners are still doing their thing I might add, given how well I bled after the fact...). But seeing the beautiful autumn morning light was quite grand. I love the light this time of year.

I had my first official visitors this afternoon too and somehow fittingly that was Fern and Roger. They've been great friends forever and I truly appreciate both of them. Leave it to Fern to come up with perfect gifts too (although not expected, they were quite lovely!) -- a fun book on cats that rule the world, an outdoor magazine featuring 100+ techniques for good outdoor photography (a dream of mine to return to) and the current issue of Vogue, so I can start thinking about what kind of clothes I want to buy again one of these days. How very thoughtful!

Fluid consumption is something I look forward to rather than a duty now -- yay. I've found some other things that are tasting good too -- strained "healthy choice" cream of chicken soup, watered-down protein beverages, lime jello and any sugar free popsicle. There's hope!! It's going to take me forever to get to my 75 grams of protein goal (I'm at about 6 now), but there's hope now!! My digestive track is definitely waking up finally -- have I mentioned lately how incredibly wonderful a great fart can be? :) I will never underestimate them again!!

I am trying a day without the anti-nausea medicine today as it makes me dizzy and I won't be able to drive until I'm off it. So far, so good, so fingers crossed... if I can wean off I can drive again in a week. This will coincide with the addition of pureed foods to my diet -- woohoo...

John found out last week that he has to have hand surgery now. Sigh. Thankfully I know he's in good hands (every pun intended) as he is seeing the great hand surgeon that performed my carpal tunnel release early last year. Different issue though -- he had a big knot at the base of his right hand middle finger causing incredibly painful trigger finger. When he wakes up it's totally locked and he goes through awful pain to release it. He will likely have that taken care of in a couple of weeks.

“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.”

“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.” -- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Day 6 AS

Yesterday was a red letter day -- not only could I actually get up all by myself, but I could wipe my own ass!! Again, something we truly under-rate until we can't do it!

I finally exceeded 40 oz. of fluid in the 24 hour period and consequently didn't have a dry mouth by the end of the day yesterday. The lower back pain that had been interfering with my sleep left also -- progress -- step by step. I managed to stay awake more than half of the day also. The other milestone -- feet, ankles, toes and calves that look like my very own!! Oh -- and one more -- I finally found something that tasted good -- sugar free orange jello.

Progress continues today -- although the outing to the doctor's office was exhausting I confess. I'm glad we saw her -- there are a couple of things she's concerned about so we can work on fixing those now. The biggest one is my excessive belching and urping -- the latter shouldn't be happening. So she's added another med (thankfully a small enough one to swallow without cutting up) -- reglan. That's seemed to help a lot -- no urping after 2 doses -- she wants me on it a month 4 times/day. The downside of it is that it makes me a little dizzy, so I may not be able to drive next week as I'd hoped -- we'll see. Not happy with my infrequent farts either -- I still have a ton of abdominal gas that just won't come out. So I'll keep on walking and try to wake that darn colon of mine back up. Another issue is skin breakdown around the drain site -- I think it just stayed too wet too long. I'll be trying some OTC hydrocortisone cream on that.

Some good news -- my blood pressure is great! It's usually good -- but rarely great! Not sure what to think about my blood sugar -- I have a call in to my endocrinologist to consult with him. I'd cut my insulin way down -- and I still had a low last night, so didn't take any. Pretty low this morning too, so again passed. I guess when you're taking in almost zero carbs and less than 100 calories a day there's not a big need to worry about it once the surgery shock wears off -- and seemingly it's starting to wear off. I had awful numbers in the hospital -- glad those days are past.

I have survived 6 hours alone this afternoon -- woohoo! John helped set me up nicely before he went to work -- what a wonderful man he is. He's on his way home now and is going to try to find me some more sugar free orange jello. Who could ask for more???

I'm grateful for a mature spouse! :)

“I would say that the surest measure of a man's or a woman's maturity is the harmony, style, joy, and dignity he creates in his marriage, and the pleasure and inspiration he provides for his spouse” -- Benjamin Spock

Day 4 AS Saturday, September 26

Hallelujah -- the drainage is slowing down to a very manageable level. I had been wearing an abdominal binder to add some additional support, but tried going without it today and finally feel better without it -- so away binder!!

My day is moving into a boring but consistent pattern. Force fluids, force tiny cut up pills down, sit up, belch and burp to relieve some pressure -- try to avoid the dreaded hiccups. Walk to the bathroom. Fart (if I'm lucky), poop, pee -- generally in that order. After this the abdominal pressure's released enough that I can comfortably walk -- I'm up to five loops of the upper level of the house now. Sit down, force some more fluids and pill fragments down, fall asleep out of exhaustion for around an hour or so -- repeat cycle every 3 hours.

We were looking forward to USC reinstating themselves again Saturday night and thankfully they did. I think I made it through about half the game -- not bad.

I still can't concentrate enough to read -- or long enough to even use a round of energy up in Mafia Wars or Vampire Wars on Facebook -- shocking! ;) I can almost make it through a one hour TV show. Glad there are a lot of new shows on the DVR from season starts last week.

John heads back to work Monday afternoon. I can't say enough times how great he's been. There's no way I could have done this without him. I'm truly grateful for the Lab's FMLA policy and his wonderful co-workers that put up with him missing most of last week to help me. He will be driving me to the surgeon's office Monday morning.

I'm praying I can take care of myself by then...

The very best part of the day -- a shower. Wow. It was heaven.

“Digestion is one of the most delicately balanced of all human and perhaps angelic functions.”

“Digestion is one of the most delicately balanced of all human and perhaps angelic functions.” -- M.F.K. Fisher

Day 3 AS - Friday, September 25

I finally wake up nausea free and almost feel like myself. My temperature was under control and I was starting to recognize my feet, toes and ankles again. Nothing is going to keep me there another day!!

Thankfully my surgeon concurred, because although I hate to admit it, I know her vote was the only one that counted. She was really pleased with my overnight improvement and ordered my discharge. I finally was able to consume all 3 oz. of breakfast too.

The day charge nurse came by to commiserate over the loss of chair -- it turned out she was the one who had ordered these and had the procedure herself 3 years ago. She spent about half an hour with me. I was discouraged that I was still in pain and she reminded me everyone has different pain tolerance and different physiology. She herself lost her pain when the JP drain was removed. We all recover in our own time -- and we do all recover.

John returned shortly after that followed by my day RN who removed my IV. Wow, was that thing ever taped on good! She did a wonderful job minimizing the pain as best she could. She provided us with bunches of supples to help with the drainage site collection and butt wiping and skin pain I had developed (likely from sitting in that awful wheelchair).

John hauled all my gear down to the car, made sure my seat was all the way up and set back. The day CNA came by and helped me clean up once again, then wheeled me down to John and freedom.

How great it is to be home! I was still exhausted -- it was all I could do to try to keep up with my fluid goals in between sleeping -- still difficult to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. I was cleared for a shower but as much as I wanted it I simply could not muster up enough energy.

It's great to have chairs that are soft and fit again! Great also to have my own toilet. I hate that I still can't quite get up by myself on Friday or wipe myself on Friday -- but am incredbily grateful for a soul mate that would do anything possible to help with my comfort in John.

No nausea, but awful painful gas, belches, burps and hiccups.

It literally took me hours to consume my night meds after breaking them up into small enough pieces to swallow without risking their getting stuck. One of the pill fragments the night before had been too big and did stick for about 20 minutes -- painful. I definitely don't want to experience that again.

I am hating the continuing gas and digestive issues -- tons of reflux while I sleep in spite of a pretty high dose of meltable Prevacid. Hopefully this will all calm down in a few weeks. Trust me colleagues -- you definitely don't want me back in the office yet -- between all the noises and awful smells it's truly gross -- even to me. Trust me on this. :)

“Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization”

“Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization” -- Florence Nightingale


Day 2 AS - Thursday, September 23

This was probably the most discouraging day of my stay -- I remember asking my surgeon why on earth I had done this when she came by to visit me. I had the highest fever of my stay, was the most swollen, was leaking gobs from the drain site and just overall felt crappy. She sidestepped my question and gave me the expected bad news that all these symptoms were leading me to at least one more day in the hospital -- to be reviewed each day, one day at a time. I bitched about the chair situation.

Her response was as you'd expect very measured -- let's see what we can do to fix all this. Gave me some heavy duty Tylenol with hydrodone liquid to bring down my temperature and help relieve the pain. Ordered IV Lasik to make me pee -- and boy did that every work. I lost more than 10 pounds of fluids that day! I finally farted and better yet started to have diarrhea. Kind of gross I know, but what an incredible relief to the abdominal pain did just that prove to be!!

After that I started my quest for a decent chair with the day RN. For hours she looked to no avail -- so engaged her charge nurse in the quest. Unbeknownst to me at the time that charge nurse had had this procedure herself 3 years ago (and looks fabulous I might add!) and was instrumental in the ordering of the 2 whole bariatric chairs the hosptal had. Pleasantonians must be a lot smaller than Oaklandians -- I remember there they had several suites dedicated to bariatric patients with appropriate beds, toilets and chairs as required for COE certification.

Several hours later -- success! She found one of her chairs in the ICU waiting room and stole it back. Crazy, isn't it? Got it aounrd 4 PM -- and although a bit low to the ground it was a blessed relief to the too big wheelchair.

Early that morning I met the biggest ray of sunshine in the hospital -- my CNA was fabulous. She probably spent 1/3 of her shift with me, cheering and encouraging me every step along the way.

Without presenting to graphic of a picture -- once my bowels restarted there's been no stopping them! I could not bend in the middle yet, hence I could not clean myself. She very matter of factly handled the issue for me every time I needed her -- and later came back to administer a blessed sponge bath.

I also told her my fear of getting back in bed and potentially getting Nurse Ratched again that night. She said not to worry -- she'd make sure that didn't happen, and sure enough she did! My day RN came in and asked me about her -- told me she'd talk to the charge nurse and did. She came back and let me know we were "safe" that night and that I could rest assured if I spent any others there I wouldn't see either Nurse Ratched or the lazy CNA. The RNs and CNAs circled their wagons it seemed to make sure nothing like that happened again while I was there.

3 of the RNs on the floor have had this same procedure performed, and the lovely CNA shared their success stories -- very sweet.

John had to leave for a few hours around 3 to hand off Tasters Guild materials to Jerry for the Guild's dinner that night. What wonderful friends we have in that group! Carol, Jerry, David, and Ray all went beyond the call of duty to make sure the group had a good night without either of us and so John could come back and be with me. I can't begin to tell you what an incredible champion/help mate John has been. I am truly blessed in my partner. You definitely need an advocate in the hospital, and he was with me every tiny step along the way helping to make me as comfortable as possible.

The lovely CNA started negotiating with me to go back to bed -- I really did need to elevate my feet. I totally trusted her, so with her help went back to bed -- she turned off the light, put the call bell right next to my hand and promised to come back to help me up before her shift ended at 7. And sure enough she did.

The only down side was when John got back she had closed my door, so we didn't want to disturb me not knowing what was going on behind that closed door. He ate his dinner in the hall, and then she came by to help me up and we spent a few more hours together.

The night RN had too big of a patient load that night as the hospital filled up -- 5 patients including 2 new admissions. The night charge nurse came by and chatted about Nurse Ratched -- told me I should definitely have complained and that I should spread the gospel that even if it's just a personality conflict as patients we have rights to care we're comfortable with.

Given the RN was so busy, the charge nurse personally took me on! :) She helped me in and out of bed that night, as well as found a new bed that worked and traded it out in the middle of the night -- there's a program that helps prevent pressure sores and the one on my bed had crapped out.

The only negtive that night was that a different RN came by to "borrow" my good chair for another patient. Wanting to help him, I said sure, but I needed it back at 5 AM. Suffice it to say I never did get it back -- sigh,

"Pain is temporary"

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -- Lance Armstrong

Day 1 AS (after surgery) Wednesday, September 23

Boy, do they ever want to do all they can to move you in, through and out of the hospital as fast as they possibly can. Luckily this matched my own agenda! :)

The day RN came by around 9 to let me know that someone would be by soon to take me to imaging for the swallow test and a chest x-ray. I had developed a fever and there was concern naturally about the source as it could have been caused by a number of things -- and none of them good. It turned out in this case that my lungs were pretty compromised -- no doubt accounting for the fact that I could barely take a few steps without wheezing and a few more without wanting my inhaler. Consequently I was unable to walk enough -- I tried every 3 hours (4 at night) but was very challenged. Coughing hurt like heck too, as did using the incentive spirometer, but again it was good knowing ahead of time that all of the above needed to be done to reduce the pneumonia and blood clot risk. By the end of this day I came to appreciate how toughing it out through the pain meant some nice rewards on the other side of some pain reduction after doing these things.

The swallow test was thankfully perfect -- no leaks anywhere. A warning to anyone that ever has to do this -- the contrast fluid tastes nasty! As much as my poor dry mouth wanted the liquid, it was all I could do to keep it down in wee tiny sips. In between sips and various images they let me sip a little water -- that was the best tasting water I ever had! :)

The xray tech was great. Her brother had been through this procedure about 6 months ago, so like many other people I've run into along this path, she was highly compassionate and went out of her way to carefully explain everything that was being done step by step so I knew what to expect.

Apparently there were a number of emergency needs for radiologists that morning and none were available to work with me. This is a "live" radiology procedure -- the radiologist was literally standing on the other side of the imaging machine and me reading results as I swallowed. A very kind female radiologist came in a couple of hours before her shift to help me -- wow. I'm truly amazed by this because the one thing I've learned through this experience is that everyone in the hospital seems to work their ass off (with the notable exception of Nurse Ratched and the lazy CNA -- more to come on this). I found everyone else at the hospital to be truly committed to their work and to being as helpful and as encouraging as they could be.

When finished, I'm wheeled back to my room where the day RN pours me a lovely carafe of ice water. How wonderful it was! I still (day 5 PS as I am typing) can only tolerate ice cold or warm water, so I'm grateful she knew that would be the case.

It was a little scary drinking at first, and incredibly difficult to get to my current goal of 20-30 ounces of liquid in a 24 hour period on day 1 PS. I ordered my first "meal" -- an ounce of herbal tea, an ounce of broth and an ounce of sugar free gelatin. These made me incredibly nauseous, but again this was seemingly expected as there was a standing order for some serious anti-nausea medicine that helped a lot and was needed both days 1 and 2 AS.

After that the RN gave me the bad news that the morphine needed to be removed. Holy crap! I asked if that meant the JP drain was coming out too, and she said no, not until later that afternoon. I did some swift negotiating and played on what we'd learning in class, that being that it would help with the pain of the drain removal if you took a couple of doses of morphine just before. You could tell she was feeling my pain, so I agreed to not use the morphine until the JP drain removal and rely on the lighter weight darvoset IV injections. She finally agreed.

She came back a few hours later to say it was time to pump up the morphine -- gave me enough time for 2 doses, and then blessedly removed that medieval torture device. She also removed the Foley catheter, so it became a little easier to walk on my own.

Both of those removals brought on their own sets of challenges too though. For the JP drain, we had to start using a ton of gauze to collect the fluid that now leaked directly out of me. Kind of gross -- on day 5 AS it is down to a slow ooze, but there were times it gushed those first couple of days. Ugh.

Removing the Foley presented some challenges too -- I now had to use the toilet myself. This is where the lack of appropriate bariatric equipment began to make itself very apparent -- shocking frankly for a nationally certified Bariatric Surgery Center of Excellence. Surprisingly, the toilet was very low -- and there was no way my incredibly distended abdomen was going to bend enough to let me sit that low. So the RN found a booster that worked -- until we found out that the surgeon wanted all the fluid outputs captured and measured because I was so incredibly swollen. They were worried about blood clots now because my feet and ankles were so swollen and hot.

They had me climb on the scale and I had gained more than 10 pounds in IV fluid retention. Yikes! In just a little more than a day!

Abdominal gurgling and belching and burping and urping started early this evening. I would have killed to have been able to fart but that wasn't in the cards this day.

By now the night shift assignments had been posted and John comes back to me with the less-than-good news that Nurse Ratched and the lazy CNA are assigned to me. I think about asking the Charge Nurse for a reassignment, but decide it takes 2 to tango, so perhaps if I try to be a better communicator all will be well. After all it's the night shift and I'll be sleeping a lot and not need much, right? Boy was I wrong!

The one good thing she did for me was found a porta pottie that actually worked for me. She could not find any chair I could sit in -- although I doubt she looked very hard. The day RN had provided me with a wheelchair that was too big and too hard for me as a stop gap measure.

I dreaded going to bed that night -- I'm such a control freak (no........ me? :) ) that it was making me crazy that I still needed help getting in and out of bed. By now my ankles and knees didn't bend at all either which didn't help matters any. So I rang for assistance and Nurse Ratched and her CNA showed up together. The RN stood back and didn't do a damn thing to try to help -- clearly I was beneath her dignity. The CNA did the least she could -- and finally I was there. Uncomfortable at best, unable to move sideways or to scoot up or down, but at least I was there.

I woke up a few hours later burning up -- turned out to have close to a 104 degree temperature. I tried lying there but couldn't. So called for help again and God forbid, but this time Nurse Ratched shows up alone. I should have known I was in trouble. She watched me struggle for at least 5 minutes telling me I really should be able to this by myself by now and then finally acknowledged that maybe I couldn't. Lying there like a beached whale in front of a stranger is not exactly my idea of a good time. So she condescended to push the button to raise my head and torso a little. Waited a few more minutes and then further condescended to help with my legs, shaking her head in disgust the whole time. It was at best annoying. I vowed then and there that I would not get into bed again -- now way was I going to deal with that awfulness.

I asked here again about a chair and not surprisingly she said there wasn't one so I suffered in silence in the uncomfortable wheel chair -- but at least I could get in and out of it by myself.

What a crappy night!

"...let us all be thankful"

"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." - Buddha

Day 0 - Surgery (Tuesday, September 22)

Thank God for great surgeons, anesthesiologists, and admissions nurses -- and at the very top of the list a husband with the patience of Job. Let's finish that list with the wonders of Versed.

The admissions RN had a very pragmatic matter about her and a somewhat dry wit -- a perfect match for me. After changing into the chic (hypoallergenic in my case) hospital gown and booties I was freezing. She turn on a groovy hot air filled blanket for me that had me toasty warm in a heartbeat. After signing a million more release forms (and yes, Fern, I took your advice -- I didn't read ANY of them -- after all, I already knew the major risks), she took my BP and it was a little high -- what a shocker. :)

The anesthesiologist had called me the night before and had given me "permission" to have him paged an hour before surgery if I felt the need for any anxiety reduction assistance. He told me I had to see the OR RN too before any chemical help would be available to I asked the admissions RN to get the OR RN and then to page the anesthesiologist.

The OR RN came in and was again nicely compassionate, clear and direct -- love that type of RN! She very nicely distracted me with yet more paperwork while the admissions RN inserted the IV. Yay, it worked the first time. I have awful veins so this was a very good thing.

In the interim the anesthesiologist answered the page and the admissions RN administered a small dose of Versed. I love Versed -- almost instant relaxation and no memory at all of anything after the 2nd dose about half an hour later.

The admissions RN also added a sticky to the anesthesiologist's paperwork asking him to help me visualize pink, purple and white lights as he put me under, as Jayne so kindly suggested. I remember discussing this with him in between Versed doses and he noted lots of people have requests like this and lots to play visualization and relaxation tapes. Kinda cool.

I loved the anesthesiologist, but both John and I can't help but wonder if he's tried any of his own meds along the way. Talk about Dr. Mellow! If he were any more laid back he'd be asleep!

I asked John to describe my pre-op demeanor to me. I was surprisingly a whole lot more relaxed than either of us expected the night before and the morning of -- up until I climbed up onto that gurney. Then panic started to set in until that first dose of Versed came. After the 2nd dose of Versed John reports I was almost as relaxed as Dr. Mellow. :)

They wheeled me into the OR around 8:45 and around 11:10 my surgeon came out to talk to John. She said everything came out great and the laparoscopic surgery was much easier than she expected -- likely due to the more than 60 pound weight loss I had before the procedure.

Apparently they kept me in recovery a lot longer than the anticipated. 1 hour At first there was an issue with what room I was going to be moved to and as soon as that was resolved my blood pressure became unstable.

About 2.5 hours later I was stable and taken to 2428. Fortunately I had a private room -- I understand they try to do that for all of the patients going through this procedure because of food issues. The smell of real food today, even the thought of it, (and I'm typing this 5 days after surgery from home) makes me instantly nauseous.

John reports my spending the rest of the time he was with me (until around 9 PM) as in and out of sleep. God bless morphine. The clock rapidly became my best friend -- every 10 minutes I religiously pushed that button.

One of the biggest things I remember is being incredibly dry-mouthed. I knew I wouldn't be allowed any fluids until the leak test was performed the day after surgery. It was great having John there and being prepared for this so knew to ask for some mouth swabs. He kindly got me some and they provided great relief. The RN came in a few hours later and gave me some really tart lemon-lime flavored ones that helped even more. She also brought me some heavenly lip moisturizer.

The other thing I remember was the pain. My abdomen was incredibly distended from all the gas they'd pumped me up with (still somewhat uncomfortably distended 5 days later) and my shoulders hurt a lot. I was really grateful for Sue's email reminding me that was also a side-affect of all the gases. The main pain was where the JP drain was installed. Ugh. Apparently it was necessary because I swear at least a liter of fluid was extracted over those first two days, but just imagine a foot or two of plastic tubing under your skin on top of the stomach that had just been cut up and you'll get a sense of what it felt like.

Nurse Ratched was assigned to me on the night shift -- although I didn't connect fully with this analogy until I ended up with her a second night the next night -- more on that later. She didn't seem to understand a word I spoke to her. I remember looking over to John several times silently asking if I was speaking English or Greek and seeing the commiseration in his eyes over her seeming stupidity. Her CNA was also by far the laziest one I met. Smarter than her RN, and smart enough to do just enough to get by.

Thankfully I still had my morphine and after affects of anesthesia so recall sleeping pretty solidly that night.

"Your courage will guide your future"

"Land of the Free" by Harry Chen

"Your courage will guide your future" -- Fortune Cookie Saying

Day 137

An auspicious saying I think in the cookie that accompanied my "last supper" tonight. Knowing that the GI cleansing starts tomorrow I wanted to be sure to eat lightly today. I did not feel like cooking, and John is enjoying an evening with the Pompous Twits wine group tonight, so he kindly picked up some yummy hot and sour soup from our favorite local Chinese restaurant for my supper. It was delicious, and the saying rather fits how I feel about all this.

I do feel courageous for me. I know the next couple of months are not going to be easy, but I am willing to bet it is going to buy me a few extra years of life in better health and less physical pain that I have today. What is a few months compared to that?

I spent a somewhat frustrating five hours doing pre-op junk at the hospital Wednesday; frustrating because surely it should not have taken more than two hours and I had an awful lot of things waiting for me to do at work. I sure wish I was going to be at a different facility. I really do not like the facility in Pleasanton compared to San Ramon or Oakland. I am definitely hoping that all goes wrinkle-free and I am only there two nights. The admissions nurse had never heard of hypo-allergenic linens. I learned 12 years ago that I am allergic to the harsh detergents hospitals generally use, so this is a must. She said she would do some research -- hopefully they will figure it out! More blood-work and urinalysis performed -- you would think I had been poked enough already. And yet another image -- this time a chest x-ray. I am really glad everyone is being so careful, but I cannot help but wonder how much all of this is costing... and how much is too much? I will have to add up all the insurance statements one of these days -- but not today.

I have officially started my leave of absence from work. The first stop on the pre-op visit trail was with the surgeon. She did a great job going through in painstaking detail the procedure and risks again. Her colleague will be assisting -- it is nice to know two surgeons who have both done this many, many times will be in the operating room. The anesthesiologist is more involved than I had realized also. He or she will be inserting a tube with a small balloon into the upper area of my stomach -- essentially to measure off what will become the new pouch. The surgeon has kind of a groovy machine (if you think of this as something being done to someone else :) ) that will simultaneously insert two rows of staples in the stomach and cut between them. Amazing. The largest of the 5 or 6 incisions she will be making is expected to be about half an inch wide. I love laparoscopy. She cautioned me again that she may have to open me all the way -- I am truly hoping this will not happen. She has not had to open anyone all the way up in a few years and I really do not want to break her record!!

I received my new medic alert bracelet yesterday. The RN for the program gave me a brochure for this online vendor and I like their stuff -- they are on the web at http://www.laurenshope.com/ if you are looking for anything along these lines. They engrave a plate and attach clasps on either side so you can change out the bracelet you use with it to match your wardrobe -- kinda fun. For my first one I got purple (what else?) and clear Swarovski crystals. I hope I never need anyone to use it -- but if I do I know I will be glad I have it!

Anyone that knows me well knows that I would not be satisfied with a "last supper" of hot and sour soup. After four months of protein drinks for breakfast and lunch and small dinners, I confess to three lovely splurges this week.

The first was a nice lunch with my colleagues kindly coordinated by Harry. Speaking of Harry, I am going to use my blog to shamelessly ask you to vote for his work. Harry's an amazing photographer. He created the wonderful image at the beginning of this blog entry. He is a finalist in the Aaron Brothers'"Show Us Your America" contest at: http://www.showusyouramerica.com/votes/new. He’s moved from 4th place for Photography yesterday to 3rd place today – let’s see if we can take him to the number one spot he deserves!! You’ll find his photo near the bottom of the page and is titled "Land of the Free." Simply click the radio button next to this photo, enter your email address at the bottom of the page, and then click the vote bottom at the bottom of the page.

The next was a lovely meal was dinner with my friend Belinda. What a wonderful evening! We started at her beautiful home visiting with her Bella -- a terrific cockapoo I freely admit to coveting greatly. We shared a fine feast at an Italian restaurant -- starting with Scoozi and some spicy sausage stuffed mushrooms before splitting some Prawns in Vodka-cream sauce over pasta and finishing with some incredible chocolate thing with vanilla ice cream. We couldn't finish it all but certainly enjoyed what we could.

The final splurge was last night -- a pastrami reuben sandwich. It was hard to choose between french fries or part of an eclair, but I finally settled for a salad instead of the fries and went for the share of the eclair. Surprisingly enough to me, my ability to eat all that comfortably has already changed... but the tastes were delicious. :)

I am finding myself surprising less apprehensive than I expected at this point -- but note there are still a couple of days left to stress out in. I am certain part of the reason is all of the support my friends and family have been providing. I think I am one of the luckiest people in the world! My Jewish friends said prayers for me at Temple as they welcomed the new year; my Christian friends are lighting candles as they say prayers for me at Church, and my alternate-spirituality friends are sending me great ideas for visualizing white, purple and pink light to bathe myself in love as I go under... who could ever ask for more? I am indeed truly blessed by all of you -- thank you.

"Godspeed your love to me"

Day 132

As Belinda so aptly put it when I got "THE" date a couple of hours ago: "Holy CRAP!" A week from tomorrow, Tuesday, 9/22 at 8:30 AM PDT start sending good vibes my way as that's when they'll wheel me into the surgical suite to start the next phase of this journey.

I'm really excited and a wee bit apprehensive now. This is an irreversible decision once I go under. At the pre-op prep class last week they had us sign the surgery authorization with all of the warnings including the big D (death) thing and the reminder that you will not be able to consume the same same size meals as you can today. Three 1-3 ounce meals at first, and then three 3 ounce meals for a long time -- eventually 1-1.5 cups depending on the individual after a year or two. Considering that's part of my objective, the latter is a good thing. We're rooting for a pass on the first thing.

This week is going to be crazy -- an insane work load at the office; several hours doing pre-op stuff Wednesday and I bet a couple more things later in the week. After all these months of waiting it truly is now going to be rush rush rush. I suspect this is part of the strategy to keep people from changing their minds -- keep them too busy to worry too much.

I just heard the news that Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and am saddened by his passing. I have always had a bit of a crush on him... who could resist him in "Dirty Dancing" or "Ghost?" Remember this one?

Unchained Melody
Composed by Alex North with lyrics by Hy Zaret

Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me

Lonely rivers flow to the sea,
to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'
I'll be coming home wait for me

Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me

Please Godspeed your love and good thoughts to me next week! You know I send them back a hundred-fold.

The Righteous Brothers perform 'Unchained Melody' (YouTube video)

I need to set the kitchen timer...

“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual” - Phyllis Diller

Day 130

I definitely need an attitude adjustment today -- we'll have to work on that!

It has started off the perfect way to go with my mood -- a crazy, and very unusual for here, LOUD thunderstorm woke me up. I had really hoped for some extra sleep this morning as my work day started at 6 AM yesterday and we all know what a morning person I am NOT. I worked a very frustrating 13 hours and didn't accomplish half of what I needed to do so am looking forward to a lot more tedious work this weekend to try to get at least half way caught up for some critical Monday deadlines. Yuck yuck yuck.

I should be elated -- I received insurance authorization for my surgery late yesterday afternoon. Perhaps I am ungrateful, but what a pain it was to get it!! I spoke with my surgeon's office Thursday and was told basically to go away and they'd let me know when they receive approval -- you know how that would not work for me. So I called the insurance company and was able to sleuth out my case manager. Good thing I did...

She started the conversation off with a we have until Friday to get back to your surgeon within our service level agreements. I said great, that's tomorrow -- how's it going. She paused, and then agreed to do some more research. Came back on the line a couple of minutes later with a whole new attitude -- a most apologetic one. She had forgotten to assign me for review. Sigh. So had I not called, who knows when this would have finally been done. She promised my surgeon would hear from them the next day (yesterday) and we parted ways.

3 PM comes and goes yesterday so I called the surgeon's office and they still hadn't heard. Called the insurance company and actually got the case manager on the first try (took a dozen attempts Thursday -- you know I wasn't going to leave a voice mail message for her to call me back). Went through the whole thing again -- then remembered me apparently from the day before -- put me on hold, came back with congratulations -- you've been approved. Like I'd won the lotto or something. Said surgeon would be called before end of day (which was rapidly approaching). Also said she showed an admission date of October 3 (a Saturday -- seems a bit odd) and discharge date of October 5. I told her I expected it to be earlier and she said no problem, just let her know the new dates to update the file.

Called the surgeon's office and they said they couldn't do anything without something in writing from the insurance company. Sigh again. No one trusts or believes anyone, do they?

While we were chatting my cell phone rang. Put the surgeon's office on hold and it was the coordinator from the Valley Care program saying they'd just heard from the surgeon's office and I'd been authorized for surgery. Apparently the ladies at the surgeon's office don't speak to one another!! I thanked the coordinator, got back on the line with the surgeon's office and was told they were having a bad day and that since the other lady knew what was going on she would have to call me back Monday and couldn't schedule anything until then.

Oh well, what's one more weekend of waiting? A lot to me, I'll admit. Today is 130 days since I started this and it seems absurd that I still don't have a definitive date. It is so difficult to plan anything, but I'm doing the best I can. I ordered my cough buddy and my first medic alert bracelet (purple of course!) so two more things off that prep list. Still a bunch to do.

Fingers crossed that Monday I'll be able to post a definitive surgery date... and hopefully one in September. I find it difficult to think the surgeon would schedule a Saturday procedure!

“Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science”

“Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science” -- Gary Larson

Day 127

What an awful weekend I had! Thankfully I feel great today and hopefully this "incident" will soon be behind me. It doesn't really fit the journey per se, other than to record why I'm a week of exercise, but does go to show life doesn't always go the way we plan once again.

It would have to start on the first day of a three-day weekend when the only way to see the doctor is to go to the ER (and I was so not going to the ER on a holiday weekend unless I was literally dying!). At first there was irritating, but minor pain on the side of my left foot -- within a few hours it zipped up to excruciating -- I'd call it a 9 on the 1-1o scale. We had some leftover #3 Tylenol with codeines so those got me through the night. I spoke to the on call doctor Sunday who said effectively suck it up or go to the ER -- as expected.

Kept it elevated and periodically iced until I could get into my great new PCP yesterday morning. She took me in as her first patient. John was (as you'd expect) great through all of this else I don't know how I would have survived -- I literally could not even get out of my chair without help and had to use a walking stick to hobble around. Stairs were fun -- John on one side and the stick on the other.

Anyway, my PCP said there was a possibility of a stress fracture as I've increased my walking in the last few weeks, but likely it was either a recurrence of gout or some other inflammation. Plan was to xray it to rule out the former and to take 3 days of prednisone (since I can't take any anti-inflammatories this close to surgery) in case of the latter.

So next stop was the hospital. I love SRRMC -- everyone there is great. Lots of teasing for John and I thanks to my walking stick -- hey lady, did you kick him instead of using the stick stuff. As I dreaded, I had to climb up onto an awfully high xray table and put my foot into all kinds of unbearable positions for xrays. I looked at the scrawny tech who offered to help me up and kindly laughed at him. Put my hand on the footstool and said out loud "just suck it up and do it." He was awesome -- said his wife would kill him if he said that. Finally managed to get through it all and with his help sit back up and get back down and then hobble back to the car with John's help.

Next stop was the pharmacy. I know prednisone's side affects are awful, but OMG, I understand now why so many people become addicted to it and why my doctor only gave me a 3-day supply. Other than some hobbling (walking-stick free I might add) today, I feel like I'm in my 20's again. My shoulder that's hurt for almost 2 years now feels great! No wonder athletes love steroids. I feel like I can do almost anything (other than clean the outside of my house -- Fern, you've got to be kidding!).

Thankfully my PCP warned me the prednisone would play havoc with my blood sugar. I have it under really good control and generally have fasting numbers under 100. This morning it was 201 -- yikes! It hasn't been that high in over a decade. So I shot a little extra insulin this morning -- and then an hour later crashed. What a pain -- it dropped to 42 (should be above 60). So I rescued myself and called my (wonderful) endocrinologist. He told me not to worry -- let it go (as long as it stays under 300) and by Friday it should be back to normal. Although not optimal, it won't hurt for just a few days.

John and I attended the pre-op/post-up combined support group session last night again. As anticipated, more good info was shared. One of the pre-op patients asked about hair loss. I'm glad they did as it's a definite concern of mine. Unfortunately it was confirmed that most of the post-ops there did experience this problem. The facilitator noted 50% of people undergoing rapid weight loss do in spite of keeping their protein levels correct. This was a little disappointing to hear, but best to be forewarned. Thankfully it's usually just one growing cycle and comes back -- I recall this being a 3-6 month cycle. I suppose I can live with less hair for a few months for all of the other potential benefits.

Tomorrow's the pre-op prep class. Two hours -- shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully the exercise-nazi RN won't freak out too much over my non-existent exercise since Saturday or my likely weight gain from the prednisone (yes, I'm blowing up with fluid retention thanks to even this small course of treatment). I'm really glad now I've lost so much more weight pre-surgery than I was required to. We have our final weigh-in and review our exercise records as part of the session. Can't wait. Not. The rest I am looking forward to -- bowel prep (not! -- supposedly easier than a colonoscopy prep -- we'll see) instructions and post-op short-term expectations.

To close, I've never been particularly interested in basketball, but I have been in science. I wonder if this ankle thing will send me back to it? I'll have to ask Gary next time I see him. :)

“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”

"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." -- Vincent Van Gogh

Day 121

Well, it's official. That is, I'm officially in "pending" status. All of my surgical pre-requisites have been met from the program's perspective and they have indeed submitted the request for surgery approval to my insurance company. Best guess is that I'll have the procedure the week of 9/21; with some luck and speedy processing by insurance perhaps the week of 9/14.

I'll be going in next week for a 2 hour pre-op class, objectives of which are to learn more about preparing for the surgery and preparing for the first month afterwards. There's another support group next week too so I plan to go to that as well.

Yesterday I saw my sleep doctor and as much as I hate it, that darn machine makes me look statistically good now at least -- averaged only 3 stops to my breathing per hour on it vs. the old number that was around 90. The doctor thought the numbers were great, so I guess that's a good thing. He had tested some things through bloodwork that may have been causing some restless legs at night and all those tests came back pretty good too. The one "close" one was iron -- they recommend having a level of up to 50 and I'm at 53, so good enough, but he suggested it could be higher so I'll start some iron supplements now too.

I was successful in setting up the new wireless network at home over the weekend and the reception's great everywhere! Woohoo. I love technology when it works. Our new laptop is fabulous also -- really pleased with it. John built a groovy rolling laptop table for me last night, so I'm all set and can remain connected now when I get home from the hospital. Who could ask for more?

Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for the week of 9/14 -- that would be grand. Fingers crossed...

"One step at a time"

"Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch...

To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time"

- "One Step at a Time" - Jordin Sparks

Day 115

The "council" has voted me in... yay. I feel like a Survivor contestant -- this week they didn't vote me off the island. :)

The bad news is no surgery date, yet... sigh. The infamous letter that I will likely receive in a week (amazing how long it can take to travel less than 5 miles -- it goes to the hospital in Pleasanton, then to the hospital in Livermore and then into the actual US postal system it seems) has few requirements thankfully and all but one have already been fulfilled:

1. Fax pap smear test results to the Valley Care Weight Loss Surgery Program (VC). I called my gyn's office and the results just came back today. Thankfully the sample was good enough and even more thankfully the results were favorable -- woohoo.
   
2. Start taking calcium citrate with vitamin D 3x/day. Started. It turns out my vitamin D levels were low in the test the old surgeon ordered but no one told me to do anything about it until I joined this program. Since this is a supplement that I'll have to take forever anyway I have started. This will be retested in 3 months and adjusted if needed -- not a surgery show stopper. They also recommend spending 15 minutes/day with your face and arms in the sun -- sounds like fun!
   
3. Maintain weight loss. Love that! Maintain vs. must lose more is good, but I am going to continue to try to lose what I can -- I want that darn liver of mine to be small enough for the retractors to be able to lift it out of the way and came the procedure laparoscopic.
4. Take their 8 online classes and pass each with 80% or higher -- just finished. Interestingly enough the focused primarily on psychology, behavior modification and exercise -- a lot of nutrition and pre-op/post-op stuff as expected.
5. Letter of medical necessity from PCP. Holy cow -- how retarded is this. My endocrinologist referred me into this process to start with -- they've tested me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes and know every little issue I have or have ever had -- all well documented -- and now they want a letter from my PCP too? Seems like a bit of overkill at best. I know this won't be an issue, but it does seem like an absolute waste of time for all involved.
6. Keep records of exercise.
7. Attend a support group session -- done, and will continue to do.
   

All in all, not too bad. I do love the VC administrator -- she's great. I sent her an email asking her to confirm she'd received the fax from my gyn and the confirmation of my "passing" all the classes and she responded within a very few minutes with lovely affirmation and some very kind words of support.

So now I guess I'm back in a hurry up and wait mode. The VC administrator did note that my insurance company generally responds very quickly, so my original hope of hearing next week about a date range is possible. They declined me within a day from the last group... the administrator said they are generally almost as fast to provide acceptances too, so we shall see.

On a different note, our first laptop was delivered today. I suspect we'll be spending part of the weekend trying to figure out how to install the new wireless network that was delivered yesterday. I'm thinking that during the first couple of weeks post-surgery it will be hard to use our steep stairs to get to and from the office where the wired network currently resides and you know me -- I can't go too long without a computer. :) We've been thinking about getting a laptop for a while for traveling and photography so this provided a great excuse. This one should be pretty cool -- it's more powerful than my desktop! Maybe Photoshop will actually run consistently without crashing on it. It is amazing how technology improves exponentially in such short periods of time -- good thing, else I might not make such a good living in the industry.

I hope you all have a great weekend! It looks like the weatherman is predicting much more comfortable temperatures for us. At 7 PM here it's still 98 degrees and humid as all get out -- something we definitely are not accustomed to in the Bay Area.