“I would rather have had one breath of her hair, one kiss from her mouth, one touch of her hand, than eternity without it.” -- Spoken by Nicholas Cage in "City of Angels"
Day 30 AS
I'll start today with the good news that John's hand surgery today went very well. If you ever need a hand surgeon in the Bay Area, he's batting 1000 -- he did a great job on my right hand last year and seemingly a great job on John's right hand today. Plus he's a really cool guy! And John's Mr. Mellow -- even more than usual. Valium is a good drug too it would seem. ;)
Tuesday was my red letter day -- real (albeit soft!) food -- something I could actually chew. What a relief from the prior four weeks of only liquid and pureed food. I can now report that I can eat processed turkey and low-fat jarlsberg swiss cheese and my new digestive system can tolerate both. I'll slowly add more foods like other processed meats, poached chicken and fish, eggs, cheeses, over-cooked vegetables, over-cooked pasta and over-cooked rice during this 4-week stage. The key is for the food to be soft soft soft. I'm still struggling with getting to my daily goal of 75 grams of protein, so hopefully this will help.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
On eating and drinking...
Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity. ~Voltaire
Day 27 AS
Not a lot to report. Same old - same old. Overall doing pretty well. Dizziness has thankfully subsided, I'm left with just feeling tired all of the time now. Yesterday was a little weird -- I had a hard time keeping pureed foods down, and was kind of sick getting out of the shower (yuck) but that seems to have thankfully subsided today.
The other weird thing is that I'm still not hungry. I know the head-hunger is going to hit me one of these days, but so far, so good. I am eating 3 times a day because I need to -- not because I want to at this point.
Next big milestone is tomorrow -- I get to start eating "soft" foods for a month. Just like a baby, I'm supposed to add one food at a time to make sure I can tolerate it. If it doesn't work (and I shudder to think what that means!) then I wait a week and try it again. John got me some good supplies to try -- an assortment of "processed" meats (recommended as it will be easier to chew to the required applesauce consistency -- I can also eat poached and boiled meats -- ugh), eggs, and some soft low fat cheeses. Ripe bananas and canned fruit (with any syrup washed off) are also on the list, as are overcooked potatoes, sweet potatoes, white rice and pasta. The hard part is that I also have to start the no beverage with meals for the rest of my life phase or for 30 minutes afterwards. I've always consumed tons of water with my meals so this will definitely take some getting used to. Hopefully with the meals only being 3 ounces (3/8 cup) in total I won't miss the water too much.
The number one priority remains getting all of my protein in. I am still struggling to get to my goal of 75 grams/day.
Thanks to John I have found another pureed food I like: smoothies. Yum! Yesterday he made a banana smoothie for breakfast and added some of Elaine's protein supplement -- it was delicious. We tried kefir for the first time with this and found it pretty tasty -- filled with protein. A few days earlier he made a banana strawberry one that was pretty tasty too. One thing I've noticed is that I still prefer "simple" flavors -- not too much spice or too many complex flavors. That seems to be getting better with time, so hopefully in another week or two that won't be an issue any longer.
Day 27 AS
Not a lot to report. Same old - same old. Overall doing pretty well. Dizziness has thankfully subsided, I'm left with just feeling tired all of the time now. Yesterday was a little weird -- I had a hard time keeping pureed foods down, and was kind of sick getting out of the shower (yuck) but that seems to have thankfully subsided today.
The other weird thing is that I'm still not hungry. I know the head-hunger is going to hit me one of these days, but so far, so good. I am eating 3 times a day because I need to -- not because I want to at this point.
Next big milestone is tomorrow -- I get to start eating "soft" foods for a month. Just like a baby, I'm supposed to add one food at a time to make sure I can tolerate it. If it doesn't work (and I shudder to think what that means!) then I wait a week and try it again. John got me some good supplies to try -- an assortment of "processed" meats (recommended as it will be easier to chew to the required applesauce consistency -- I can also eat poached and boiled meats -- ugh), eggs, and some soft low fat cheeses. Ripe bananas and canned fruit (with any syrup washed off) are also on the list, as are overcooked potatoes, sweet potatoes, white rice and pasta. The hard part is that I also have to start the no beverage with meals for the rest of my life phase or for 30 minutes afterwards. I've always consumed tons of water with my meals so this will definitely take some getting used to. Hopefully with the meals only being 3 ounces (3/8 cup) in total I won't miss the water too much.
The number one priority remains getting all of my protein in. I am still struggling to get to my goal of 75 grams/day.
Thanks to John I have found another pureed food I like: smoothies. Yum! Yesterday he made a banana smoothie for breakfast and added some of Elaine's protein supplement -- it was delicious. We tried kefir for the first time with this and found it pretty tasty -- filled with protein. A few days earlier he made a banana strawberry one that was pretty tasty too. One thing I've noticed is that I still prefer "simple" flavors -- not too much spice or too many complex flavors. That seems to be getting better with time, so hopefully in another week or two that won't be an issue any longer.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Get started now.
“Don't wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” -- Mark Victor Hansen
Day 22 AS
I had a good visit with my surgeon this morning -- she is pleased with my progress. She confirmed the 30 pound weight loss over the last 3 weeks and said that it's better than expected -- typically this is more like 10-15 pounds. I asked if this was a concern then, and she said not -- that I'm one of the lucky ones whose body seemingly isn't reacting as though it's being starved as many do during the first month, causing them to hang on to some fat. Interesting.
I shared with her also my concerns regarding continuing exhaustion and occasional dizziness, and she agreed with my internist that cutting the blood pressure medication in half should help, but reminded me I will be tired for a couple more months. I also told her about cutting out the cholesterol med until my diet is normalized and she suggested I contact my internist and add this back -- perhaps at a lower dosage. She noted that during rapid weight loss there are a lot of lipids floating through your blood stream so that it might be a good idea to keep on that for the time being. I called her and she agreed, so half dose it shall be.
I also told her that I still can't sleep in bed because when I roll over onto my left side it feels like my stomach's falling out. She reassured me this was normal, particularly for someone like me that carries most of my weight in my abdomen. When I roll over onto my side it puts a lot of stress on the sutures, giving me the sensation of the stomach falling out. She suggested I either wear the abdominal binder when I try to sleep in bed or continue to enjoy sleeping in the recliner for a few more weeks and just don't worry about it -- I think I'll go for the latter!!
She also cleared me to try to ride my stationary recumbent bike now also, as long as I pay attention to how I feel. She suggested I may not be able to ride for more than a couple of minutes, and if that's the case to stop. It will be nice to add something to walking in my exercise repertoire.
Last night John joined me for the support group. It was a good meeting -- lots of good questions from pre-op patients. There was another 3 week post-op patient there (who'd had the lapband rather than the gastric bypass), so the facilitator let us ask about our biggest current challenges. The other 3 week patient is having a hard time with her fluids (thankfully I am not!) so the group gave her some ideas. I mentioned how much I am hating the pureed food in general and the facilitator (an RD) told me not to worry -- stick with fluids if I must. She went on to say most people eat inappropriate pureed foods anyhow, and that it's such a small quantity of food it doesn't really matter. Seems like an odd response to me... I will continue with my common sense approach I think -- the vegetarian soups with added protein powder. I mentioned this issue to the surgeon today and she said getting my protein is the most important thing -- so if I need to drink more milk, eat more yogurt and scrambled eggs, go for it. Just get to my goal of 75 grams as fast as possible. My last couple of days have been 50 grams, so I have some work to do on this. There are 8 grams of protein in a cup of milk and 6 grams in a quarter cup of scrambled eggs, so they are pretty good sources. It's really strange to think in terms of food's nutritional value, rather than just as something that tastes good...
After the pre-ops were excused, the post-ops had a discussion regarding exercise. I know this is going to be the hardest area for me to conquer during this journey. The good news is that my knees are already feeling better -- I don't wince every time I stand up. We each had to talk about our plan individually. The folks that are a year or more pre-op are all regular gym-goers now -- on average 5 times/week. Our facilitator warned us not to start a program we can't commit to -- because once you stop you will gain weight unless you start eating less. I don't see myself as a gym goer to be honest -- we'll have to see what alternatives I can come up with for me. A couple of people start their days off with hour-long walks with their dogs... I wonder if Ali or Cari would like to walk on leashes? :) Somehow I don't see John ever going along with a dog being added to our household...
I met Fern's friend Janet last night at the support group -- that was fun. She looks great 4 months post-op. She is jogging now for the first time in decades -- very fun. She had a lot of the same challenges in her first six weeks that I am having now, so it was encouraging to see her surviving these and moving on to feel better than she has in years now.
One of the interesting differences between Pleasanton and Oakland has been the difference in sizes of patients. I felt a lot more "at home" in Oakland -- there were a lot of patients my size and larger there... in Pleasanton I wonder how some of these people qualified for the surgery in the first place. There were a couple of pre-ops there that I'll be ecstatic if I look as good as they do today a year from now!
Two outings tomorrow -- I'll have to be sure to nap in-between. I can't believe how tired I am after just one small excursion. Wish me luck!
Day 22 AS
I had a good visit with my surgeon this morning -- she is pleased with my progress. She confirmed the 30 pound weight loss over the last 3 weeks and said that it's better than expected -- typically this is more like 10-15 pounds. I asked if this was a concern then, and she said not -- that I'm one of the lucky ones whose body seemingly isn't reacting as though it's being starved as many do during the first month, causing them to hang on to some fat. Interesting.
I shared with her also my concerns regarding continuing exhaustion and occasional dizziness, and she agreed with my internist that cutting the blood pressure medication in half should help, but reminded me I will be tired for a couple more months. I also told her about cutting out the cholesterol med until my diet is normalized and she suggested I contact my internist and add this back -- perhaps at a lower dosage. She noted that during rapid weight loss there are a lot of lipids floating through your blood stream so that it might be a good idea to keep on that for the time being. I called her and she agreed, so half dose it shall be.
I also told her that I still can't sleep in bed because when I roll over onto my left side it feels like my stomach's falling out. She reassured me this was normal, particularly for someone like me that carries most of my weight in my abdomen. When I roll over onto my side it puts a lot of stress on the sutures, giving me the sensation of the stomach falling out. She suggested I either wear the abdominal binder when I try to sleep in bed or continue to enjoy sleeping in the recliner for a few more weeks and just don't worry about it -- I think I'll go for the latter!!
She also cleared me to try to ride my stationary recumbent bike now also, as long as I pay attention to how I feel. She suggested I may not be able to ride for more than a couple of minutes, and if that's the case to stop. It will be nice to add something to walking in my exercise repertoire.
Last night John joined me for the support group. It was a good meeting -- lots of good questions from pre-op patients. There was another 3 week post-op patient there (who'd had the lapband rather than the gastric bypass), so the facilitator let us ask about our biggest current challenges. The other 3 week patient is having a hard time with her fluids (thankfully I am not!) so the group gave her some ideas. I mentioned how much I am hating the pureed food in general and the facilitator (an RD) told me not to worry -- stick with fluids if I must. She went on to say most people eat inappropriate pureed foods anyhow, and that it's such a small quantity of food it doesn't really matter. Seems like an odd response to me... I will continue with my common sense approach I think -- the vegetarian soups with added protein powder. I mentioned this issue to the surgeon today and she said getting my protein is the most important thing -- so if I need to drink more milk, eat more yogurt and scrambled eggs, go for it. Just get to my goal of 75 grams as fast as possible. My last couple of days have been 50 grams, so I have some work to do on this. There are 8 grams of protein in a cup of milk and 6 grams in a quarter cup of scrambled eggs, so they are pretty good sources. It's really strange to think in terms of food's nutritional value, rather than just as something that tastes good...
After the pre-ops were excused, the post-ops had a discussion regarding exercise. I know this is going to be the hardest area for me to conquer during this journey. The good news is that my knees are already feeling better -- I don't wince every time I stand up. We each had to talk about our plan individually. The folks that are a year or more pre-op are all regular gym-goers now -- on average 5 times/week. Our facilitator warned us not to start a program we can't commit to -- because once you stop you will gain weight unless you start eating less. I don't see myself as a gym goer to be honest -- we'll have to see what alternatives I can come up with for me. A couple of people start their days off with hour-long walks with their dogs... I wonder if Ali or Cari would like to walk on leashes? :) Somehow I don't see John ever going along with a dog being added to our household...
I met Fern's friend Janet last night at the support group -- that was fun. She looks great 4 months post-op. She is jogging now for the first time in decades -- very fun. She had a lot of the same challenges in her first six weeks that I am having now, so it was encouraging to see her surviving these and moving on to feel better than she has in years now.
One of the interesting differences between Pleasanton and Oakland has been the difference in sizes of patients. I felt a lot more "at home" in Oakland -- there were a lot of patients my size and larger there... in Pleasanton I wonder how some of these people qualified for the surgery in the first place. There were a couple of pre-ops there that I'll be ecstatic if I look as good as they do today a year from now!
Two outings tomorrow -- I'll have to be sure to nap in-between. I can't believe how tired I am after just one small excursion. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Independence
“Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom... The power to choose, to respond, to change.” --Stephen R. Covey
Day 21 AS
It is great to be independent again -- I drove yesterday for the first time post-op and again today. Yesterday was to the phlebotomist who got it right the first time (yay) and today to my internist.
Climbed on the scale today and... was totally amazed. Since my high weight in April I'm down 89 pounds now -- depending on what you use as my last pre-op weight, I'm down approximately 30 pounds over the last 3 weeks. It's amazing how much you can lose and how quickly when you don't eat much... which is the point after all. Good to see it's succeeding so far.
My internist is making some med adjustments too -- cutting my blood pressure med in half, stopping cholesterol until I start eating "normally" again and cutting out my asthma med (let's see how I do). She thinks my bp is too low now (I never thought I'd hear those words!) and may be contributing to my constant exhaustion and occasional dizziness. Hopefully this will help both!
Another outing this evening -- post op support group. It will be a change of pace -- I'm used to being kicked out of the last hour (reserved solely for post ops) -- this time I'll be staying. It will be interesting to see if the group shares more gory tales (explaining why the pre-ops are excused) or if the facilitator simply wants to leave some time for this group exclusively.
More "outings" planned later in the week. I see my surgeon again tomorrow. Thursday I have my post-op nutrition class -- maybe they'll have some more ideas how to survive this pureed food stage. I'm finding this difficult -- the vegetarian approach with protein powder has made it bearable, but it is still difficult. I was discussing this with my internist today and she suggested I ask if ground meats without pureeing them are OK... I will check that out Thursday.
I see my wonderful endocrinologist Thursday late afternoon. My internist wants me to schedule him monthly, along with her monthly, staggering them by two weeks so I see one or the other every 2 weeks. Makes sense. She warned me there will be lots of blood work ahead as between the two of them and my anticipated weight changes over the next few months we'll be playing with what meds I can reduce vs. cut out altogether while keeping healthy. It is great having an internist now that really wants to be engaged and help me be the healthiest I can be -- she really feels like a partner.
The weather has been crazy today -- right now a fairly gentle rain, but prior to now it's been a non-stop down pour since the wee small hours -- very unusual for October here.
Day 21 AS
It is great to be independent again -- I drove yesterday for the first time post-op and again today. Yesterday was to the phlebotomist who got it right the first time (yay) and today to my internist.
Climbed on the scale today and... was totally amazed. Since my high weight in April I'm down 89 pounds now -- depending on what you use as my last pre-op weight, I'm down approximately 30 pounds over the last 3 weeks. It's amazing how much you can lose and how quickly when you don't eat much... which is the point after all. Good to see it's succeeding so far.
My internist is making some med adjustments too -- cutting my blood pressure med in half, stopping cholesterol until I start eating "normally" again and cutting out my asthma med (let's see how I do). She thinks my bp is too low now (I never thought I'd hear those words!) and may be contributing to my constant exhaustion and occasional dizziness. Hopefully this will help both!
Another outing this evening -- post op support group. It will be a change of pace -- I'm used to being kicked out of the last hour (reserved solely for post ops) -- this time I'll be staying. It will be interesting to see if the group shares more gory tales (explaining why the pre-ops are excused) or if the facilitator simply wants to leave some time for this group exclusively.
More "outings" planned later in the week. I see my surgeon again tomorrow. Thursday I have my post-op nutrition class -- maybe they'll have some more ideas how to survive this pureed food stage. I'm finding this difficult -- the vegetarian approach with protein powder has made it bearable, but it is still difficult. I was discussing this with my internist today and she suggested I ask if ground meats without pureeing them are OK... I will check that out Thursday.
I see my wonderful endocrinologist Thursday late afternoon. My internist wants me to schedule him monthly, along with her monthly, staggering them by two weeks so I see one or the other every 2 weeks. Makes sense. She warned me there will be lots of blood work ahead as between the two of them and my anticipated weight changes over the next few months we'll be playing with what meds I can reduce vs. cut out altogether while keeping healthy. It is great having an internist now that really wants to be engaged and help me be the healthiest I can be -- she really feels like a partner.
The weather has been crazy today -- right now a fairly gentle rain, but prior to now it's been a non-stop down pour since the wee small hours -- very unusual for October here.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Who knows what tomorrow brings?
Who knows what tomorrow brings
In a world where few hearts survive
All I know is the way I feel
When its real I keep it alive
The road is long there are mountains in the way
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles fly on a mountan high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world below
Where the clear winds blow
Some hang on to used to be
Live their life looking behind
All we have is here and now
All our lives out there to find
The road is long and there are mountains in my way
But we climb the stairs everyday
Chorus
Time goes by no time to cry
Just you and I alone
Chorus
Music by Bernard Alfred "Jack" Nitzsche and Buffy Sainte-Marie; Lyrics by Will Jennings
Day 16 AS
What a crappy wife I am, and what a wonderful husband I have!! I have no idea how I got to be so lucky, but I am certainly not going to complain.
Today is our 26th wedding anniversary. I woke up as John came up to start getting ready for work and he presented me with a lovely card full of sparklies (and we all know how I love sparklies!). He made me some lovely tea and proceeded with all of his morning things. Before he left he made me some Pea Soup Andersen' soup and it actually tasted good with no bad side affects -- woohoo. He had been inspired by the baby food aisle when selecting that particular soup. There were 3 stage 1 flavors, applesauce, squash and pea, so he figured if it was good for people when we learn to eat it will be good for us when we have to relearn how to eat -- and he was right!
Shortly before noon the doorbell rang and it was my favorite florist (La Petite Fleur in P'ton). The florist put together a lovely arrangement at John's direction full of red roses and my favorite rubrum (aka star gazer) lilies.
What a crappy wife I am -- I didn't do a darn thing to let John know how much I appreciate him.
I can now add one more thing to the list of foods that don't puree well: hot and sour soup. Ugh. We tried that for dinner last night, and all I could taste was the vinegar. I think I'll end up trying just vegetarian soups and purees for the next week and a half pumped up with some of Elaine's protein powder. For lunch I took some more of that pea soup and did just that -- and it was yummy. I'm about 1/2 way to my daily protein goal. It's so much harder to do that I thought it would be!
Other than that, nothing new -- still periodically a little dizzy and still a lot tired.
In a world where few hearts survive
All I know is the way I feel
When its real I keep it alive
The road is long there are mountains in the way
Love lift us up where we belong
Where the eagles fly on a mountan high
Love lift us up where we belong
Far from the world below
Where the clear winds blow
Some hang on to used to be
Live their life looking behind
All we have is here and now
All our lives out there to find
The road is long and there are mountains in my way
But we climb the stairs everyday
Chorus
Time goes by no time to cry
Just you and I alone
Chorus
Music by Bernard Alfred "Jack" Nitzsche and Buffy Sainte-Marie; Lyrics by Will Jennings
Day 16 AS
What a crappy wife I am, and what a wonderful husband I have!! I have no idea how I got to be so lucky, but I am certainly not going to complain.
Today is our 26th wedding anniversary. I woke up as John came up to start getting ready for work and he presented me with a lovely card full of sparklies (and we all know how I love sparklies!). He made me some lovely tea and proceeded with all of his morning things. Before he left he made me some Pea Soup Andersen' soup and it actually tasted good with no bad side affects -- woohoo. He had been inspired by the baby food aisle when selecting that particular soup. There were 3 stage 1 flavors, applesauce, squash and pea, so he figured if it was good for people when we learn to eat it will be good for us when we have to relearn how to eat -- and he was right!
Shortly before noon the doorbell rang and it was my favorite florist (La Petite Fleur in P'ton). The florist put together a lovely arrangement at John's direction full of red roses and my favorite rubrum (aka star gazer) lilies.
What a crappy wife I am -- I didn't do a darn thing to let John know how much I appreciate him.
I can now add one more thing to the list of foods that don't puree well: hot and sour soup. Ugh. We tried that for dinner last night, and all I could taste was the vinegar. I think I'll end up trying just vegetarian soups and purees for the next week and a half pumped up with some of Elaine's protein powder. For lunch I took some more of that pea soup and did just that -- and it was yummy. I'm about 1/2 way to my daily protein goal. It's so much harder to do that I thought it would be!
Other than that, nothing new -- still periodically a little dizzy and still a lot tired.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
"Look ahead, not back"
“The young sailor at sea was ordered to climb a mast to adjust a sail during a violent storm. He got halfway up, looked down, got dizzy and sick. An old sailor on deck shouted up to him Look up, son, look up. Young sailor looked up, regained his composure, and completed his mission. Moral: Look ahead, not back.” - Unknown
Day 15 AS
Not a lot of excitement to report... I'm feeling a lot less pain but am exhausted seemingly all the time. So much for my big plan to go back to work after two weeks -- silly me. I spent almost all day Monday sleeping, and while I was awake I was dizzy -- kind of weird.
My big treat is an outing this evening to my hairdresser. I am hoping I'll be able to deal OK with a couple of hours in her chair. I am definitely looking forward to a little pampering. John is going to be my escort so I don't have to drive yet. I was a little dizzy getting out of the shower again this morning so I think this is a very good thing.
John made a couple of pureed soups for me last night. I'm finding my taste buds are hyper-sensitive -- he used just a wee bit of tarragon in the chicken with mushroom soup and it is still very strong to me. The soup's good, but 1/2 cup goes a long way now! The other was also chicken based with mexican flavors -- in this case the diced chiles he used are very strong flavored to me. It seems odd -- I usually love really strong flavors -- I guess I need to start thinking in terms of I used to love really strong flavors...
Day 15 AS
Not a lot of excitement to report... I'm feeling a lot less pain but am exhausted seemingly all the time. So much for my big plan to go back to work after two weeks -- silly me. I spent almost all day Monday sleeping, and while I was awake I was dizzy -- kind of weird.
My big treat is an outing this evening to my hairdresser. I am hoping I'll be able to deal OK with a couple of hours in her chair. I am definitely looking forward to a little pampering. John is going to be my escort so I don't have to drive yet. I was a little dizzy getting out of the shower again this morning so I think this is a very good thing.
John made a couple of pureed soups for me last night. I'm finding my taste buds are hyper-sensitive -- he used just a wee bit of tarragon in the chicken with mushroom soup and it is still very strong to me. The soup's good, but 1/2 cup goes a long way now! The other was also chicken based with mexican flavors -- in this case the diced chiles he used are very strong flavored to me. It seems odd -- I usually love really strong flavors -- I guess I need to start thinking in terms of I used to love really strong flavors...
Sunday, October 4, 2009
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked"
"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked" -- Bernard Meltzer
Day 12 AS
Another fun day, this time thanks to Elaine and Steve who stopped by for a lovely visit with John and I, bringing some lovely fall flowers (in a purple vase no less!!) and protein powder... bless you! :)
That is my next big challenge -- getting up to those 75 grams of protein per day -- I am up to about 14 or 15 now -- it seems like an endless way to go at the moment.
I am continuing to feel a lot better, but did have an uncomfortable dizzy spell after showering this morning. I checked my blood sugar and that was not the problem. Elaine asked me when the last time was that I had consumed any calories and that may well have been the issue. I will try eating something before my next shower to see if that helps. John also asked if I bent my head a lot and I did -- so caution there too I guess.
We had the best dinner last night in remembrance of my beloved God-daughter Allison. She loved Mexican food, so on her birthday every year we consume it in her memory. I was not quite sure how I was going to do that this year, (which would have been her 22nd birthday), until I hit on the idea of getting some good Mexican soup and enjoying the broth. John picked up some lovely Caldo de Pollo from Casa Orozco, portioned out some broth for me and ate the rest himself along with a beef quesadilla -- we were both very happy. I know Binky would be happy to know that thanks to her I had the best meal yet, post surgery. It is great to enjoy food flavors again. I confess to being a little worried about that last week.
This coming Tuesday (in 2 days) marks my graduation to pureed foods -- oh boy. I am almost looking forward to that. Fingers crossed!!
Thanks again to all who have called, stopped by, send emails, cards and other lovely treats. One of my favorite cards has been from Tricia and David featuring "Dr. Dreamy" who was sporting a great big GE surrounded by a heart on his white coat -- loved it! :)
Nap time (again!) now...
PS: A special congrats to the great PMs on the To9! program -- I knew you guys would bring this home today... awesome job!!! Thanks for keeping me in the loop!! I am very proud of you -- you have achieved the seemingly impossible.
Day 12 AS
Another fun day, this time thanks to Elaine and Steve who stopped by for a lovely visit with John and I, bringing some lovely fall flowers (in a purple vase no less!!) and protein powder... bless you! :)
That is my next big challenge -- getting up to those 75 grams of protein per day -- I am up to about 14 or 15 now -- it seems like an endless way to go at the moment.
I am continuing to feel a lot better, but did have an uncomfortable dizzy spell after showering this morning. I checked my blood sugar and that was not the problem. Elaine asked me when the last time was that I had consumed any calories and that may well have been the issue. I will try eating something before my next shower to see if that helps. John also asked if I bent my head a lot and I did -- so caution there too I guess.
We had the best dinner last night in remembrance of my beloved God-daughter Allison. She loved Mexican food, so on her birthday every year we consume it in her memory. I was not quite sure how I was going to do that this year, (which would have been her 22nd birthday), until I hit on the idea of getting some good Mexican soup and enjoying the broth. John picked up some lovely Caldo de Pollo from Casa Orozco, portioned out some broth for me and ate the rest himself along with a beef quesadilla -- we were both very happy. I know Binky would be happy to know that thanks to her I had the best meal yet, post surgery. It is great to enjoy food flavors again. I confess to being a little worried about that last week.
This coming Tuesday (in 2 days) marks my graduation to pureed foods -- oh boy. I am almost looking forward to that. Fingers crossed!!
Thanks again to all who have called, stopped by, send emails, cards and other lovely treats. One of my favorite cards has been from Tricia and David featuring "Dr. Dreamy" who was sporting a great big GE surrounded by a heart on his white coat -- loved it! :)
Nap time (again!) now...
PS: A special congrats to the great PMs on the To9! program -- I knew you guys would bring this home today... awesome job!!! Thanks for keeping me in the loop!! I am very proud of you -- you have achieved the seemingly impossible.
Friday, October 2, 2009
“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!”
“There is a harmony in autumn, and a luster in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!” -- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Day 10 AS
Well, I still have quite a way to go but each day I continue to feel a little better. Today's been my first "fun" day -- John and I both needed to have some blood work done so we had a mini outing this morning to the phlebotomist. Can't say that part was fun (although thankfully I had a great phlebotomist who got me the first time -- yay -- clearly the blood thinners are still doing their thing I might add, given how well I bled after the fact...). But seeing the beautiful autumn morning light was quite grand. I love the light this time of year.
I had my first official visitors this afternoon too and somehow fittingly that was Fern and Roger. They've been great friends forever and I truly appreciate both of them. Leave it to Fern to come up with perfect gifts too (although not expected, they were quite lovely!) -- a fun book on cats that rule the world, an outdoor magazine featuring 100+ techniques for good outdoor photography (a dream of mine to return to) and the current issue of Vogue, so I can start thinking about what kind of clothes I want to buy again one of these days. How very thoughtful!
Fluid consumption is something I look forward to rather than a duty now -- yay. I've found some other things that are tasting good too -- strained "healthy choice" cream of chicken soup, watered-down protein beverages, lime jello and any sugar free popsicle. There's hope!! It's going to take me forever to get to my 75 grams of protein goal (I'm at about 6 now), but there's hope now!! My digestive track is definitely waking up finally -- have I mentioned lately how incredibly wonderful a great fart can be? :) I will never underestimate them again!!
I am trying a day without the anti-nausea medicine today as it makes me dizzy and I won't be able to drive until I'm off it. So far, so good, so fingers crossed... if I can wean off I can drive again in a week. This will coincide with the addition of pureed foods to my diet -- woohoo...
John found out last week that he has to have hand surgery now. Sigh. Thankfully I know he's in good hands (every pun intended) as he is seeing the great hand surgeon that performed my carpal tunnel release early last year. Different issue though -- he had a big knot at the base of his right hand middle finger causing incredibly painful trigger finger. When he wakes up it's totally locked and he goes through awful pain to release it. He will likely have that taken care of in a couple of weeks.
Day 10 AS
Well, I still have quite a way to go but each day I continue to feel a little better. Today's been my first "fun" day -- John and I both needed to have some blood work done so we had a mini outing this morning to the phlebotomist. Can't say that part was fun (although thankfully I had a great phlebotomist who got me the first time -- yay -- clearly the blood thinners are still doing their thing I might add, given how well I bled after the fact...). But seeing the beautiful autumn morning light was quite grand. I love the light this time of year.
I had my first official visitors this afternoon too and somehow fittingly that was Fern and Roger. They've been great friends forever and I truly appreciate both of them. Leave it to Fern to come up with perfect gifts too (although not expected, they were quite lovely!) -- a fun book on cats that rule the world, an outdoor magazine featuring 100+ techniques for good outdoor photography (a dream of mine to return to) and the current issue of Vogue, so I can start thinking about what kind of clothes I want to buy again one of these days. How very thoughtful!
Fluid consumption is something I look forward to rather than a duty now -- yay. I've found some other things that are tasting good too -- strained "healthy choice" cream of chicken soup, watered-down protein beverages, lime jello and any sugar free popsicle. There's hope!! It's going to take me forever to get to my 75 grams of protein goal (I'm at about 6 now), but there's hope now!! My digestive track is definitely waking up finally -- have I mentioned lately how incredibly wonderful a great fart can be? :) I will never underestimate them again!!
I am trying a day without the anti-nausea medicine today as it makes me dizzy and I won't be able to drive until I'm off it. So far, so good, so fingers crossed... if I can wean off I can drive again in a week. This will coincide with the addition of pureed foods to my diet -- woohoo...
John found out last week that he has to have hand surgery now. Sigh. Thankfully I know he's in good hands (every pun intended) as he is seeing the great hand surgeon that performed my carpal tunnel release early last year. Different issue though -- he had a big knot at the base of his right hand middle finger causing incredibly painful trigger finger. When he wakes up it's totally locked and he goes through awful pain to release it. He will likely have that taken care of in a couple of weeks.
Monday, September 28, 2009
“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.”
“The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand, as in what direction we are moving.” -- Oliver Wendell Holmes
Day 6 AS
Yesterday was a red letter day -- not only could I actually get up all by myself, but I could wipe my own ass!! Again, something we truly under-rate until we can't do it!
I finally exceeded 40 oz. of fluid in the 24 hour period and consequently didn't have a dry mouth by the end of the day yesterday. The lower back pain that had been interfering with my sleep left also -- progress -- step by step. I managed to stay awake more than half of the day also. The other milestone -- feet, ankles, toes and calves that look like my very own!! Oh -- and one more -- I finally found something that tasted good -- sugar free orange jello.
Progress continues today -- although the outing to the doctor's office was exhausting I confess. I'm glad we saw her -- there are a couple of things she's concerned about so we can work on fixing those now. The biggest one is my excessive belching and urping -- the latter shouldn't be happening. So she's added another med (thankfully a small enough one to swallow without cutting up) -- reglan. That's seemed to help a lot -- no urping after 2 doses -- she wants me on it a month 4 times/day. The downside of it is that it makes me a little dizzy, so I may not be able to drive next week as I'd hoped -- we'll see. Not happy with my infrequent farts either -- I still have a ton of abdominal gas that just won't come out. So I'll keep on walking and try to wake that darn colon of mine back up. Another issue is skin breakdown around the drain site -- I think it just stayed too wet too long. I'll be trying some OTC hydrocortisone cream on that.
Some good news -- my blood pressure is great! It's usually good -- but rarely great! Not sure what to think about my blood sugar -- I have a call in to my endocrinologist to consult with him. I'd cut my insulin way down -- and I still had a low last night, so didn't take any. Pretty low this morning too, so again passed. I guess when you're taking in almost zero carbs and less than 100 calories a day there's not a big need to worry about it once the surgery shock wears off -- and seemingly it's starting to wear off. I had awful numbers in the hospital -- glad those days are past.
I have survived 6 hours alone this afternoon -- woohoo! John helped set me up nicely before he went to work -- what a wonderful man he is. He's on his way home now and is going to try to find me some more sugar free orange jello. Who could ask for more???
Day 6 AS
Yesterday was a red letter day -- not only could I actually get up all by myself, but I could wipe my own ass!! Again, something we truly under-rate until we can't do it!
I finally exceeded 40 oz. of fluid in the 24 hour period and consequently didn't have a dry mouth by the end of the day yesterday. The lower back pain that had been interfering with my sleep left also -- progress -- step by step. I managed to stay awake more than half of the day also. The other milestone -- feet, ankles, toes and calves that look like my very own!! Oh -- and one more -- I finally found something that tasted good -- sugar free orange jello.
Progress continues today -- although the outing to the doctor's office was exhausting I confess. I'm glad we saw her -- there are a couple of things she's concerned about so we can work on fixing those now. The biggest one is my excessive belching and urping -- the latter shouldn't be happening. So she's added another med (thankfully a small enough one to swallow without cutting up) -- reglan. That's seemed to help a lot -- no urping after 2 doses -- she wants me on it a month 4 times/day. The downside of it is that it makes me a little dizzy, so I may not be able to drive next week as I'd hoped -- we'll see. Not happy with my infrequent farts either -- I still have a ton of abdominal gas that just won't come out. So I'll keep on walking and try to wake that darn colon of mine back up. Another issue is skin breakdown around the drain site -- I think it just stayed too wet too long. I'll be trying some OTC hydrocortisone cream on that.
Some good news -- my blood pressure is great! It's usually good -- but rarely great! Not sure what to think about my blood sugar -- I have a call in to my endocrinologist to consult with him. I'd cut my insulin way down -- and I still had a low last night, so didn't take any. Pretty low this morning too, so again passed. I guess when you're taking in almost zero carbs and less than 100 calories a day there's not a big need to worry about it once the surgery shock wears off -- and seemingly it's starting to wear off. I had awful numbers in the hospital -- glad those days are past.
I have survived 6 hours alone this afternoon -- woohoo! John helped set me up nicely before he went to work -- what a wonderful man he is. He's on his way home now and is going to try to find me some more sugar free orange jello. Who could ask for more???
I'm grateful for a mature spouse! :)
“I would say that the surest measure of a man's or a woman's maturity is the harmony, style, joy, and dignity he creates in his marriage, and the pleasure and inspiration he provides for his spouse” -- Benjamin Spock
Day 4 AS Saturday, September 26
Hallelujah -- the drainage is slowing down to a very manageable level. I had been wearing an abdominal binder to add some additional support, but tried going without it today and finally feel better without it -- so away binder!!
My day is moving into a boring but consistent pattern. Force fluids, force tiny cut up pills down, sit up, belch and burp to relieve some pressure -- try to avoid the dreaded hiccups. Walk to the bathroom. Fart (if I'm lucky), poop, pee -- generally in that order. After this the abdominal pressure's released enough that I can comfortably walk -- I'm up to five loops of the upper level of the house now. Sit down, force some more fluids and pill fragments down, fall asleep out of exhaustion for around an hour or so -- repeat cycle every 3 hours.
We were looking forward to USC reinstating themselves again Saturday night and thankfully they did. I think I made it through about half the game -- not bad.
I still can't concentrate enough to read -- or long enough to even use a round of energy up in Mafia Wars or Vampire Wars on Facebook -- shocking! ;) I can almost make it through a one hour TV show. Glad there are a lot of new shows on the DVR from season starts last week.
John heads back to work Monday afternoon. I can't say enough times how great he's been. There's no way I could have done this without him. I'm truly grateful for the Lab's FMLA policy and his wonderful co-workers that put up with him missing most of last week to help me. He will be driving me to the surgeon's office Monday morning.
I'm praying I can take care of myself by then...
The very best part of the day -- a shower. Wow. It was heaven.
Day 4 AS Saturday, September 26
Hallelujah -- the drainage is slowing down to a very manageable level. I had been wearing an abdominal binder to add some additional support, but tried going without it today and finally feel better without it -- so away binder!!
My day is moving into a boring but consistent pattern. Force fluids, force tiny cut up pills down, sit up, belch and burp to relieve some pressure -- try to avoid the dreaded hiccups. Walk to the bathroom. Fart (if I'm lucky), poop, pee -- generally in that order. After this the abdominal pressure's released enough that I can comfortably walk -- I'm up to five loops of the upper level of the house now. Sit down, force some more fluids and pill fragments down, fall asleep out of exhaustion for around an hour or so -- repeat cycle every 3 hours.
We were looking forward to USC reinstating themselves again Saturday night and thankfully they did. I think I made it through about half the game -- not bad.
I still can't concentrate enough to read -- or long enough to even use a round of energy up in Mafia Wars or Vampire Wars on Facebook -- shocking! ;) I can almost make it through a one hour TV show. Glad there are a lot of new shows on the DVR from season starts last week.
John heads back to work Monday afternoon. I can't say enough times how great he's been. There's no way I could have done this without him. I'm truly grateful for the Lab's FMLA policy and his wonderful co-workers that put up with him missing most of last week to help me. He will be driving me to the surgeon's office Monday morning.
I'm praying I can take care of myself by then...
The very best part of the day -- a shower. Wow. It was heaven.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
“Digestion is one of the most delicately balanced of all human and perhaps angelic functions.”
“Digestion is one of the most delicately balanced of all human and perhaps angelic functions.” -- M.F.K. Fisher
Day 3 AS - Friday, September 25
I finally wake up nausea free and almost feel like myself. My temperature was under control and I was starting to recognize my feet, toes and ankles again. Nothing is going to keep me there another day!!
Thankfully my surgeon concurred, because although I hate to admit it, I know her vote was the only one that counted. She was really pleased with my overnight improvement and ordered my discharge. I finally was able to consume all 3 oz. of breakfast too.
The day charge nurse came by to commiserate over the loss of chair -- it turned out she was the one who had ordered these and had the procedure herself 3 years ago. She spent about half an hour with me. I was discouraged that I was still in pain and she reminded me everyone has different pain tolerance and different physiology. She herself lost her pain when the JP drain was removed. We all recover in our own time -- and we do all recover.
John returned shortly after that followed by my day RN who removed my IV. Wow, was that thing ever taped on good! She did a wonderful job minimizing the pain as best she could. She provided us with bunches of supples to help with the drainage site collection and butt wiping and skin pain I had developed (likely from sitting in that awful wheelchair).
John hauled all my gear down to the car, made sure my seat was all the way up and set back. The day CNA came by and helped me clean up once again, then wheeled me down to John and freedom.
How great it is to be home! I was still exhausted -- it was all I could do to try to keep up with my fluid goals in between sleeping -- still difficult to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. I was cleared for a shower but as much as I wanted it I simply could not muster up enough energy.
It's great to have chairs that are soft and fit again! Great also to have my own toilet. I hate that I still can't quite get up by myself on Friday or wipe myself on Friday -- but am incredbily grateful for a soul mate that would do anything possible to help with my comfort in John.
No nausea, but awful painful gas, belches, burps and hiccups.
It literally took me hours to consume my night meds after breaking them up into small enough pieces to swallow without risking their getting stuck. One of the pill fragments the night before had been too big and did stick for about 20 minutes -- painful. I definitely don't want to experience that again.
I am hating the continuing gas and digestive issues -- tons of reflux while I sleep in spite of a pretty high dose of meltable Prevacid. Hopefully this will all calm down in a few weeks. Trust me colleagues -- you definitely don't want me back in the office yet -- between all the noises and awful smells it's truly gross -- even to me. Trust me on this. :)
Day 3 AS - Friday, September 25
I finally wake up nausea free and almost feel like myself. My temperature was under control and I was starting to recognize my feet, toes and ankles again. Nothing is going to keep me there another day!!
Thankfully my surgeon concurred, because although I hate to admit it, I know her vote was the only one that counted. She was really pleased with my overnight improvement and ordered my discharge. I finally was able to consume all 3 oz. of breakfast too.
The day charge nurse came by to commiserate over the loss of chair -- it turned out she was the one who had ordered these and had the procedure herself 3 years ago. She spent about half an hour with me. I was discouraged that I was still in pain and she reminded me everyone has different pain tolerance and different physiology. She herself lost her pain when the JP drain was removed. We all recover in our own time -- and we do all recover.
John returned shortly after that followed by my day RN who removed my IV. Wow, was that thing ever taped on good! She did a wonderful job minimizing the pain as best she could. She provided us with bunches of supples to help with the drainage site collection and butt wiping and skin pain I had developed (likely from sitting in that awful wheelchair).
John hauled all my gear down to the car, made sure my seat was all the way up and set back. The day CNA came by and helped me clean up once again, then wheeled me down to John and freedom.
How great it is to be home! I was still exhausted -- it was all I could do to try to keep up with my fluid goals in between sleeping -- still difficult to concentrate for more than a few minutes at a time. I was cleared for a shower but as much as I wanted it I simply could not muster up enough energy.
It's great to have chairs that are soft and fit again! Great also to have my own toilet. I hate that I still can't quite get up by myself on Friday or wipe myself on Friday -- but am incredbily grateful for a soul mate that would do anything possible to help with my comfort in John.
No nausea, but awful painful gas, belches, burps and hiccups.
It literally took me hours to consume my night meds after breaking them up into small enough pieces to swallow without risking their getting stuck. One of the pill fragments the night before had been too big and did stick for about 20 minutes -- painful. I definitely don't want to experience that again.
I am hating the continuing gas and digestive issues -- tons of reflux while I sleep in spite of a pretty high dose of meltable Prevacid. Hopefully this will all calm down in a few weeks. Trust me colleagues -- you definitely don't want me back in the office yet -- between all the noises and awful smells it's truly gross -- even to me. Trust me on this. :)
“Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization”
“Hospitals are only an intermediate stage of civilization” -- Florence Nightingale
Day 2 AS - Thursday, September 23
This was probably the most discouraging day of my stay -- I remember asking my surgeon why on earth I had done this when she came by to visit me. I had the highest fever of my stay, was the most swollen, was leaking gobs from the drain site and just overall felt crappy. She sidestepped my question and gave me the expected bad news that all these symptoms were leading me to at least one more day in the hospital -- to be reviewed each day, one day at a time. I bitched about the chair situation.
Her response was as you'd expect very measured -- let's see what we can do to fix all this. Gave me some heavy duty Tylenol with hydrodone liquid to bring down my temperature and help relieve the pain. Ordered IV Lasik to make me pee -- and boy did that every work. I lost more than 10 pounds of fluids that day! I finally farted and better yet started to have diarrhea. Kind of gross I know, but what an incredible relief to the abdominal pain did just that prove to be!!
After that I started my quest for a decent chair with the day RN. For hours she looked to no avail -- so engaged her charge nurse in the quest. Unbeknownst to me at the time that charge nurse had had this procedure herself 3 years ago (and looks fabulous I might add!) and was instrumental in the ordering of the 2 whole bariatric chairs the hosptal had. Pleasantonians must be a lot smaller than Oaklandians -- I remember there they had several suites dedicated to bariatric patients with appropriate beds, toilets and chairs as required for COE certification.
Several hours later -- success! She found one of her chairs in the ICU waiting room and stole it back. Crazy, isn't it? Got it aounrd 4 PM -- and although a bit low to the ground it was a blessed relief to the too big wheelchair.
Early that morning I met the biggest ray of sunshine in the hospital -- my CNA was fabulous. She probably spent 1/3 of her shift with me, cheering and encouraging me every step along the way.
Without presenting to graphic of a picture -- once my bowels restarted there's been no stopping them! I could not bend in the middle yet, hence I could not clean myself. She very matter of factly handled the issue for me every time I needed her -- and later came back to administer a blessed sponge bath.
I also told her my fear of getting back in bed and potentially getting Nurse Ratched again that night. She said not to worry -- she'd make sure that didn't happen, and sure enough she did! My day RN came in and asked me about her -- told me she'd talk to the charge nurse and did. She came back and let me know we were "safe" that night and that I could rest assured if I spent any others there I wouldn't see either Nurse Ratched or the lazy CNA. The RNs and CNAs circled their wagons it seemed to make sure nothing like that happened again while I was there.
3 of the RNs on the floor have had this same procedure performed, and the lovely CNA shared their success stories -- very sweet.
John had to leave for a few hours around 3 to hand off Tasters Guild materials to Jerry for the Guild's dinner that night. What wonderful friends we have in that group! Carol, Jerry, David, and Ray all went beyond the call of duty to make sure the group had a good night without either of us and so John could come back and be with me. I can't begin to tell you what an incredible champion/help mate John has been. I am truly blessed in my partner. You definitely need an advocate in the hospital, and he was with me every tiny step along the way helping to make me as comfortable as possible.
The lovely CNA started negotiating with me to go back to bed -- I really did need to elevate my feet. I totally trusted her, so with her help went back to bed -- she turned off the light, put the call bell right next to my hand and promised to come back to help me up before her shift ended at 7. And sure enough she did.
The only down side was when John got back she had closed my door, so we didn't want to disturb me not knowing what was going on behind that closed door. He ate his dinner in the hall, and then she came by to help me up and we spent a few more hours together.
The night RN had too big of a patient load that night as the hospital filled up -- 5 patients including 2 new admissions. The night charge nurse came by and chatted about Nurse Ratched -- told me I should definitely have complained and that I should spread the gospel that even if it's just a personality conflict as patients we have rights to care we're comfortable with.
Given the RN was so busy, the charge nurse personally took me on! :) She helped me in and out of bed that night, as well as found a new bed that worked and traded it out in the middle of the night -- there's a program that helps prevent pressure sores and the one on my bed had crapped out.
The only negtive that night was that a different RN came by to "borrow" my good chair for another patient. Wanting to help him, I said sure, but I needed it back at 5 AM. Suffice it to say I never did get it back -- sigh,
Day 2 AS - Thursday, September 23
This was probably the most discouraging day of my stay -- I remember asking my surgeon why on earth I had done this when she came by to visit me. I had the highest fever of my stay, was the most swollen, was leaking gobs from the drain site and just overall felt crappy. She sidestepped my question and gave me the expected bad news that all these symptoms were leading me to at least one more day in the hospital -- to be reviewed each day, one day at a time. I bitched about the chair situation.
Her response was as you'd expect very measured -- let's see what we can do to fix all this. Gave me some heavy duty Tylenol with hydrodone liquid to bring down my temperature and help relieve the pain. Ordered IV Lasik to make me pee -- and boy did that every work. I lost more than 10 pounds of fluids that day! I finally farted and better yet started to have diarrhea. Kind of gross I know, but what an incredible relief to the abdominal pain did just that prove to be!!
After that I started my quest for a decent chair with the day RN. For hours she looked to no avail -- so engaged her charge nurse in the quest. Unbeknownst to me at the time that charge nurse had had this procedure herself 3 years ago (and looks fabulous I might add!) and was instrumental in the ordering of the 2 whole bariatric chairs the hosptal had. Pleasantonians must be a lot smaller than Oaklandians -- I remember there they had several suites dedicated to bariatric patients with appropriate beds, toilets and chairs as required for COE certification.
Several hours later -- success! She found one of her chairs in the ICU waiting room and stole it back. Crazy, isn't it? Got it aounrd 4 PM -- and although a bit low to the ground it was a blessed relief to the too big wheelchair.
Early that morning I met the biggest ray of sunshine in the hospital -- my CNA was fabulous. She probably spent 1/3 of her shift with me, cheering and encouraging me every step along the way.
Without presenting to graphic of a picture -- once my bowels restarted there's been no stopping them! I could not bend in the middle yet, hence I could not clean myself. She very matter of factly handled the issue for me every time I needed her -- and later came back to administer a blessed sponge bath.
I also told her my fear of getting back in bed and potentially getting Nurse Ratched again that night. She said not to worry -- she'd make sure that didn't happen, and sure enough she did! My day RN came in and asked me about her -- told me she'd talk to the charge nurse and did. She came back and let me know we were "safe" that night and that I could rest assured if I spent any others there I wouldn't see either Nurse Ratched or the lazy CNA. The RNs and CNAs circled their wagons it seemed to make sure nothing like that happened again while I was there.
3 of the RNs on the floor have had this same procedure performed, and the lovely CNA shared their success stories -- very sweet.
John had to leave for a few hours around 3 to hand off Tasters Guild materials to Jerry for the Guild's dinner that night. What wonderful friends we have in that group! Carol, Jerry, David, and Ray all went beyond the call of duty to make sure the group had a good night without either of us and so John could come back and be with me. I can't begin to tell you what an incredible champion/help mate John has been. I am truly blessed in my partner. You definitely need an advocate in the hospital, and he was with me every tiny step along the way helping to make me as comfortable as possible.
The lovely CNA started negotiating with me to go back to bed -- I really did need to elevate my feet. I totally trusted her, so with her help went back to bed -- she turned off the light, put the call bell right next to my hand and promised to come back to help me up before her shift ended at 7. And sure enough she did.
The only down side was when John got back she had closed my door, so we didn't want to disturb me not knowing what was going on behind that closed door. He ate his dinner in the hall, and then she came by to help me up and we spent a few more hours together.
The night RN had too big of a patient load that night as the hospital filled up -- 5 patients including 2 new admissions. The night charge nurse came by and chatted about Nurse Ratched -- told me I should definitely have complained and that I should spread the gospel that even if it's just a personality conflict as patients we have rights to care we're comfortable with.
Given the RN was so busy, the charge nurse personally took me on! :) She helped me in and out of bed that night, as well as found a new bed that worked and traded it out in the middle of the night -- there's a program that helps prevent pressure sores and the one on my bed had crapped out.
The only negtive that night was that a different RN came by to "borrow" my good chair for another patient. Wanting to help him, I said sure, but I needed it back at 5 AM. Suffice it to say I never did get it back -- sigh,
"Pain is temporary"
“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” -- Lance Armstrong
Day 1 AS (after surgery) Wednesday, September 23
Boy, do they ever want to do all they can to move you in, through and out of the hospital as fast as they possibly can. Luckily this matched my own agenda! :)
The day RN came by around 9 to let me know that someone would be by soon to take me to imaging for the swallow test and a chest x-ray. I had developed a fever and there was concern naturally about the source as it could have been caused by a number of things -- and none of them good. It turned out in this case that my lungs were pretty compromised -- no doubt accounting for the fact that I could barely take a few steps without wheezing and a few more without wanting my inhaler. Consequently I was unable to walk enough -- I tried every 3 hours (4 at night) but was very challenged. Coughing hurt like heck too, as did using the incentive spirometer, but again it was good knowing ahead of time that all of the above needed to be done to reduce the pneumonia and blood clot risk. By the end of this day I came to appreciate how toughing it out through the pain meant some nice rewards on the other side of some pain reduction after doing these things.
The swallow test was thankfully perfect -- no leaks anywhere. A warning to anyone that ever has to do this -- the contrast fluid tastes nasty! As much as my poor dry mouth wanted the liquid, it was all I could do to keep it down in wee tiny sips. In between sips and various images they let me sip a little water -- that was the best tasting water I ever had! :)
The xray tech was great. Her brother had been through this procedure about 6 months ago, so like many other people I've run into along this path, she was highly compassionate and went out of her way to carefully explain everything that was being done step by step so I knew what to expect.
Apparently there were a number of emergency needs for radiologists that morning and none were available to work with me. This is a "live" radiology procedure -- the radiologist was literally standing on the other side of the imaging machine and me reading results as I swallowed. A very kind female radiologist came in a couple of hours before her shift to help me -- wow. I'm truly amazed by this because the one thing I've learned through this experience is that everyone in the hospital seems to work their ass off (with the notable exception of Nurse Ratched and the lazy CNA -- more to come on this). I found everyone else at the hospital to be truly committed to their work and to being as helpful and as encouraging as they could be.
When finished, I'm wheeled back to my room where the day RN pours me a lovely carafe of ice water. How wonderful it was! I still (day 5 PS as I am typing) can only tolerate ice cold or warm water, so I'm grateful she knew that would be the case.
It was a little scary drinking at first, and incredibly difficult to get to my current goal of 20-30 ounces of liquid in a 24 hour period on day 1 PS. I ordered my first "meal" -- an ounce of herbal tea, an ounce of broth and an ounce of sugar free gelatin. These made me incredibly nauseous, but again this was seemingly expected as there was a standing order for some serious anti-nausea medicine that helped a lot and was needed both days 1 and 2 AS.
After that the RN gave me the bad news that the morphine needed to be removed. Holy crap! I asked if that meant the JP drain was coming out too, and she said no, not until later that afternoon. I did some swift negotiating and played on what we'd learning in class, that being that it would help with the pain of the drain removal if you took a couple of doses of morphine just before. You could tell she was feeling my pain, so I agreed to not use the morphine until the JP drain removal and rely on the lighter weight darvoset IV injections. She finally agreed.
She came back a few hours later to say it was time to pump up the morphine -- gave me enough time for 2 doses, and then blessedly removed that medieval torture device. She also removed the Foley catheter, so it became a little easier to walk on my own.
Both of those removals brought on their own sets of challenges too though. For the JP drain, we had to start using a ton of gauze to collect the fluid that now leaked directly out of me. Kind of gross -- on day 5 AS it is down to a slow ooze, but there were times it gushed those first couple of days. Ugh.
Removing the Foley presented some challenges too -- I now had to use the toilet myself. This is where the lack of appropriate bariatric equipment began to make itself very apparent -- shocking frankly for a nationally certified Bariatric Surgery Center of Excellence. Surprisingly, the toilet was very low -- and there was no way my incredibly distended abdomen was going to bend enough to let me sit that low. So the RN found a booster that worked -- until we found out that the surgeon wanted all the fluid outputs captured and measured because I was so incredibly swollen. They were worried about blood clots now because my feet and ankles were so swollen and hot.
They had me climb on the scale and I had gained more than 10 pounds in IV fluid retention. Yikes! In just a little more than a day!
Abdominal gurgling and belching and burping and urping started early this evening. I would have killed to have been able to fart but that wasn't in the cards this day.
By now the night shift assignments had been posted and John comes back to me with the less-than-good news that Nurse Ratched and the lazy CNA are assigned to me. I think about asking the Charge Nurse for a reassignment, but decide it takes 2 to tango, so perhaps if I try to be a better communicator all will be well. After all it's the night shift and I'll be sleeping a lot and not need much, right? Boy was I wrong!
The one good thing she did for me was found a porta pottie that actually worked for me. She could not find any chair I could sit in -- although I doubt she looked very hard. The day RN had provided me with a wheelchair that was too big and too hard for me as a stop gap measure.
I dreaded going to bed that night -- I'm such a control freak (no........ me? :) ) that it was making me crazy that I still needed help getting in and out of bed. By now my ankles and knees didn't bend at all either which didn't help matters any. So I rang for assistance and Nurse Ratched and her CNA showed up together. The RN stood back and didn't do a damn thing to try to help -- clearly I was beneath her dignity. The CNA did the least she could -- and finally I was there. Uncomfortable at best, unable to move sideways or to scoot up or down, but at least I was there.
I woke up a few hours later burning up -- turned out to have close to a 104 degree temperature. I tried lying there but couldn't. So called for help again and God forbid, but this time Nurse Ratched shows up alone. I should have known I was in trouble. She watched me struggle for at least 5 minutes telling me I really should be able to this by myself by now and then finally acknowledged that maybe I couldn't. Lying there like a beached whale in front of a stranger is not exactly my idea of a good time. So she condescended to push the button to raise my head and torso a little. Waited a few more minutes and then further condescended to help with my legs, shaking her head in disgust the whole time. It was at best annoying. I vowed then and there that I would not get into bed again -- now way was I going to deal with that awfulness.
I asked here again about a chair and not surprisingly she said there wasn't one so I suffered in silence in the uncomfortable wheel chair -- but at least I could get in and out of it by myself.
What a crappy night!
Day 1 AS (after surgery) Wednesday, September 23
Boy, do they ever want to do all they can to move you in, through and out of the hospital as fast as they possibly can. Luckily this matched my own agenda! :)
The day RN came by around 9 to let me know that someone would be by soon to take me to imaging for the swallow test and a chest x-ray. I had developed a fever and there was concern naturally about the source as it could have been caused by a number of things -- and none of them good. It turned out in this case that my lungs were pretty compromised -- no doubt accounting for the fact that I could barely take a few steps without wheezing and a few more without wanting my inhaler. Consequently I was unable to walk enough -- I tried every 3 hours (4 at night) but was very challenged. Coughing hurt like heck too, as did using the incentive spirometer, but again it was good knowing ahead of time that all of the above needed to be done to reduce the pneumonia and blood clot risk. By the end of this day I came to appreciate how toughing it out through the pain meant some nice rewards on the other side of some pain reduction after doing these things.
The swallow test was thankfully perfect -- no leaks anywhere. A warning to anyone that ever has to do this -- the contrast fluid tastes nasty! As much as my poor dry mouth wanted the liquid, it was all I could do to keep it down in wee tiny sips. In between sips and various images they let me sip a little water -- that was the best tasting water I ever had! :)
The xray tech was great. Her brother had been through this procedure about 6 months ago, so like many other people I've run into along this path, she was highly compassionate and went out of her way to carefully explain everything that was being done step by step so I knew what to expect.
Apparently there were a number of emergency needs for radiologists that morning and none were available to work with me. This is a "live" radiology procedure -- the radiologist was literally standing on the other side of the imaging machine and me reading results as I swallowed. A very kind female radiologist came in a couple of hours before her shift to help me -- wow. I'm truly amazed by this because the one thing I've learned through this experience is that everyone in the hospital seems to work their ass off (with the notable exception of Nurse Ratched and the lazy CNA -- more to come on this). I found everyone else at the hospital to be truly committed to their work and to being as helpful and as encouraging as they could be.
When finished, I'm wheeled back to my room where the day RN pours me a lovely carafe of ice water. How wonderful it was! I still (day 5 PS as I am typing) can only tolerate ice cold or warm water, so I'm grateful she knew that would be the case.
It was a little scary drinking at first, and incredibly difficult to get to my current goal of 20-30 ounces of liquid in a 24 hour period on day 1 PS. I ordered my first "meal" -- an ounce of herbal tea, an ounce of broth and an ounce of sugar free gelatin. These made me incredibly nauseous, but again this was seemingly expected as there was a standing order for some serious anti-nausea medicine that helped a lot and was needed both days 1 and 2 AS.
After that the RN gave me the bad news that the morphine needed to be removed. Holy crap! I asked if that meant the JP drain was coming out too, and she said no, not until later that afternoon. I did some swift negotiating and played on what we'd learning in class, that being that it would help with the pain of the drain removal if you took a couple of doses of morphine just before. You could tell she was feeling my pain, so I agreed to not use the morphine until the JP drain removal and rely on the lighter weight darvoset IV injections. She finally agreed.
She came back a few hours later to say it was time to pump up the morphine -- gave me enough time for 2 doses, and then blessedly removed that medieval torture device. She also removed the Foley catheter, so it became a little easier to walk on my own.
Both of those removals brought on their own sets of challenges too though. For the JP drain, we had to start using a ton of gauze to collect the fluid that now leaked directly out of me. Kind of gross -- on day 5 AS it is down to a slow ooze, but there were times it gushed those first couple of days. Ugh.
Removing the Foley presented some challenges too -- I now had to use the toilet myself. This is where the lack of appropriate bariatric equipment began to make itself very apparent -- shocking frankly for a nationally certified Bariatric Surgery Center of Excellence. Surprisingly, the toilet was very low -- and there was no way my incredibly distended abdomen was going to bend enough to let me sit that low. So the RN found a booster that worked -- until we found out that the surgeon wanted all the fluid outputs captured and measured because I was so incredibly swollen. They were worried about blood clots now because my feet and ankles were so swollen and hot.
They had me climb on the scale and I had gained more than 10 pounds in IV fluid retention. Yikes! In just a little more than a day!
Abdominal gurgling and belching and burping and urping started early this evening. I would have killed to have been able to fart but that wasn't in the cards this day.
By now the night shift assignments had been posted and John comes back to me with the less-than-good news that Nurse Ratched and the lazy CNA are assigned to me. I think about asking the Charge Nurse for a reassignment, but decide it takes 2 to tango, so perhaps if I try to be a better communicator all will be well. After all it's the night shift and I'll be sleeping a lot and not need much, right? Boy was I wrong!
The one good thing she did for me was found a porta pottie that actually worked for me. She could not find any chair I could sit in -- although I doubt she looked very hard. The day RN had provided me with a wheelchair that was too big and too hard for me as a stop gap measure.
I dreaded going to bed that night -- I'm such a control freak (no........ me? :) ) that it was making me crazy that I still needed help getting in and out of bed. By now my ankles and knees didn't bend at all either which didn't help matters any. So I rang for assistance and Nurse Ratched and her CNA showed up together. The RN stood back and didn't do a damn thing to try to help -- clearly I was beneath her dignity. The CNA did the least she could -- and finally I was there. Uncomfortable at best, unable to move sideways or to scoot up or down, but at least I was there.
I woke up a few hours later burning up -- turned out to have close to a 104 degree temperature. I tried lying there but couldn't. So called for help again and God forbid, but this time Nurse Ratched shows up alone. I should have known I was in trouble. She watched me struggle for at least 5 minutes telling me I really should be able to this by myself by now and then finally acknowledged that maybe I couldn't. Lying there like a beached whale in front of a stranger is not exactly my idea of a good time. So she condescended to push the button to raise my head and torso a little. Waited a few more minutes and then further condescended to help with my legs, shaking her head in disgust the whole time. It was at best annoying. I vowed then and there that I would not get into bed again -- now way was I going to deal with that awfulness.
I asked here again about a chair and not surprisingly she said there wasn't one so I suffered in silence in the uncomfortable wheel chair -- but at least I could get in and out of it by myself.
What a crappy night!
"...let us all be thankful"
"Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn't learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn't learn a little, at least we didn't get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn't die; so, let us all be thankful." - Buddha
Day 0 - Surgery (Tuesday, September 22)
Thank God for great surgeons, anesthesiologists, and admissions nurses -- and at the very top of the list a husband with the patience of Job. Let's finish that list with the wonders of Versed.
The admissions RN had a very pragmatic matter about her and a somewhat dry wit -- a perfect match for me. After changing into the chic (hypoallergenic in my case) hospital gown and booties I was freezing. She turn on a groovy hot air filled blanket for me that had me toasty warm in a heartbeat. After signing a million more release forms (and yes, Fern, I took your advice -- I didn't read ANY of them -- after all, I already knew the major risks), she took my BP and it was a little high -- what a shocker. :)
The anesthesiologist had called me the night before and had given me "permission" to have him paged an hour before surgery if I felt the need for any anxiety reduction assistance. He told me I had to see the OR RN too before any chemical help would be available to I asked the admissions RN to get the OR RN and then to page the anesthesiologist.
The OR RN came in and was again nicely compassionate, clear and direct -- love that type of RN! She very nicely distracted me with yet more paperwork while the admissions RN inserted the IV. Yay, it worked the first time. I have awful veins so this was a very good thing.
In the interim the anesthesiologist answered the page and the admissions RN administered a small dose of Versed. I love Versed -- almost instant relaxation and no memory at all of anything after the 2nd dose about half an hour later.
The admissions RN also added a sticky to the anesthesiologist's paperwork asking him to help me visualize pink, purple and white lights as he put me under, as Jayne so kindly suggested. I remember discussing this with him in between Versed doses and he noted lots of people have requests like this and lots to play visualization and relaxation tapes. Kinda cool.
I loved the anesthesiologist, but both John and I can't help but wonder if he's tried any of his own meds along the way. Talk about Dr. Mellow! If he were any more laid back he'd be asleep!
I asked John to describe my pre-op demeanor to me. I was surprisingly a whole lot more relaxed than either of us expected the night before and the morning of -- up until I climbed up onto that gurney. Then panic started to set in until that first dose of Versed came. After the 2nd dose of Versed John reports I was almost as relaxed as Dr. Mellow. :)
They wheeled me into the OR around 8:45 and around 11:10 my surgeon came out to talk to John. She said everything came out great and the laparoscopic surgery was much easier than she expected -- likely due to the more than 60 pound weight loss I had before the procedure.
Apparently they kept me in recovery a lot longer than the anticipated. 1 hour At first there was an issue with what room I was going to be moved to and as soon as that was resolved my blood pressure became unstable.
About 2.5 hours later I was stable and taken to 2428. Fortunately I had a private room -- I understand they try to do that for all of the patients going through this procedure because of food issues. The smell of real food today, even the thought of it, (and I'm typing this 5 days after surgery from home) makes me instantly nauseous.
John reports my spending the rest of the time he was with me (until around 9 PM) as in and out of sleep. God bless morphine. The clock rapidly became my best friend -- every 10 minutes I religiously pushed that button.
One of the biggest things I remember is being incredibly dry-mouthed. I knew I wouldn't be allowed any fluids until the leak test was performed the day after surgery. It was great having John there and being prepared for this so knew to ask for some mouth swabs. He kindly got me some and they provided great relief. The RN came in a few hours later and gave me some really tart lemon-lime flavored ones that helped even more. She also brought me some heavenly lip moisturizer.
The other thing I remember was the pain. My abdomen was incredibly distended from all the gas they'd pumped me up with (still somewhat uncomfortably distended 5 days later) and my shoulders hurt a lot. I was really grateful for Sue's email reminding me that was also a side-affect of all the gases. The main pain was where the JP drain was installed. Ugh. Apparently it was necessary because I swear at least a liter of fluid was extracted over those first two days, but just imagine a foot or two of plastic tubing under your skin on top of the stomach that had just been cut up and you'll get a sense of what it felt like.
Nurse Ratched was assigned to me on the night shift -- although I didn't connect fully with this analogy until I ended up with her a second night the next night -- more on that later. She didn't seem to understand a word I spoke to her. I remember looking over to John several times silently asking if I was speaking English or Greek and seeing the commiseration in his eyes over her seeming stupidity. Her CNA was also by far the laziest one I met. Smarter than her RN, and smart enough to do just enough to get by.
Thankfully I still had my morphine and after affects of anesthesia so recall sleeping pretty solidly that night.
Day 0 - Surgery (Tuesday, September 22)
Thank God for great surgeons, anesthesiologists, and admissions nurses -- and at the very top of the list a husband with the patience of Job. Let's finish that list with the wonders of Versed.
The admissions RN had a very pragmatic matter about her and a somewhat dry wit -- a perfect match for me. After changing into the chic (hypoallergenic in my case) hospital gown and booties I was freezing. She turn on a groovy hot air filled blanket for me that had me toasty warm in a heartbeat. After signing a million more release forms (and yes, Fern, I took your advice -- I didn't read ANY of them -- after all, I already knew the major risks), she took my BP and it was a little high -- what a shocker. :)
The anesthesiologist had called me the night before and had given me "permission" to have him paged an hour before surgery if I felt the need for any anxiety reduction assistance. He told me I had to see the OR RN too before any chemical help would be available to I asked the admissions RN to get the OR RN and then to page the anesthesiologist.
The OR RN came in and was again nicely compassionate, clear and direct -- love that type of RN! She very nicely distracted me with yet more paperwork while the admissions RN inserted the IV. Yay, it worked the first time. I have awful veins so this was a very good thing.
In the interim the anesthesiologist answered the page and the admissions RN administered a small dose of Versed. I love Versed -- almost instant relaxation and no memory at all of anything after the 2nd dose about half an hour later.
The admissions RN also added a sticky to the anesthesiologist's paperwork asking him to help me visualize pink, purple and white lights as he put me under, as Jayne so kindly suggested. I remember discussing this with him in between Versed doses and he noted lots of people have requests like this and lots to play visualization and relaxation tapes. Kinda cool.
I loved the anesthesiologist, but both John and I can't help but wonder if he's tried any of his own meds along the way. Talk about Dr. Mellow! If he were any more laid back he'd be asleep!
I asked John to describe my pre-op demeanor to me. I was surprisingly a whole lot more relaxed than either of us expected the night before and the morning of -- up until I climbed up onto that gurney. Then panic started to set in until that first dose of Versed came. After the 2nd dose of Versed John reports I was almost as relaxed as Dr. Mellow. :)
They wheeled me into the OR around 8:45 and around 11:10 my surgeon came out to talk to John. She said everything came out great and the laparoscopic surgery was much easier than she expected -- likely due to the more than 60 pound weight loss I had before the procedure.
Apparently they kept me in recovery a lot longer than the anticipated. 1 hour At first there was an issue with what room I was going to be moved to and as soon as that was resolved my blood pressure became unstable.
About 2.5 hours later I was stable and taken to 2428. Fortunately I had a private room -- I understand they try to do that for all of the patients going through this procedure because of food issues. The smell of real food today, even the thought of it, (and I'm typing this 5 days after surgery from home) makes me instantly nauseous.
John reports my spending the rest of the time he was with me (until around 9 PM) as in and out of sleep. God bless morphine. The clock rapidly became my best friend -- every 10 minutes I religiously pushed that button.
One of the biggest things I remember is being incredibly dry-mouthed. I knew I wouldn't be allowed any fluids until the leak test was performed the day after surgery. It was great having John there and being prepared for this so knew to ask for some mouth swabs. He kindly got me some and they provided great relief. The RN came in a few hours later and gave me some really tart lemon-lime flavored ones that helped even more. She also brought me some heavenly lip moisturizer.
The other thing I remember was the pain. My abdomen was incredibly distended from all the gas they'd pumped me up with (still somewhat uncomfortably distended 5 days later) and my shoulders hurt a lot. I was really grateful for Sue's email reminding me that was also a side-affect of all the gases. The main pain was where the JP drain was installed. Ugh. Apparently it was necessary because I swear at least a liter of fluid was extracted over those first two days, but just imagine a foot or two of plastic tubing under your skin on top of the stomach that had just been cut up and you'll get a sense of what it felt like.
Nurse Ratched was assigned to me on the night shift -- although I didn't connect fully with this analogy until I ended up with her a second night the next night -- more on that later. She didn't seem to understand a word I spoke to her. I remember looking over to John several times silently asking if I was speaking English or Greek and seeing the commiseration in his eyes over her seeming stupidity. Her CNA was also by far the laziest one I met. Smarter than her RN, and smart enough to do just enough to get by.
Thankfully I still had my morphine and after affects of anesthesia so recall sleeping pretty solidly that night.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
"Your courage will guide your future"
"Land of the Free" by Harry Chen
"Your courage will guide your future" -- Fortune Cookie Saying
Day 137
An auspicious saying I think in the cookie that accompanied my "last supper" tonight. Knowing that the GI cleansing starts tomorrow I wanted to be sure to eat lightly today. I did not feel like cooking, and John is enjoying an evening with the Pompous Twits wine group tonight, so he kindly picked up some yummy hot and sour soup from our favorite local Chinese restaurant for my supper. It was delicious, and the saying rather fits how I feel about all this.
I do feel courageous for me. I know the next couple of months are not going to be easy, but I am willing to bet it is going to buy me a few extra years of life in better health and less physical pain that I have today. What is a few months compared to that?
I spent a somewhat frustrating five hours doing pre-op junk at the hospital Wednesday; frustrating because surely it should not have taken more than two hours and I had an awful lot of things waiting for me to do at work. I sure wish I was going to be at a different facility. I really do not like the facility in Pleasanton compared to San Ramon or Oakland. I am definitely hoping that all goes wrinkle-free and I am only there two nights. The admissions nurse had never heard of hypo-allergenic linens. I learned 12 years ago that I am allergic to the harsh detergents hospitals generally use, so this is a must. She said she would do some research -- hopefully they will figure it out! More blood-work and urinalysis performed -- you would think I had been poked enough already. And yet another image -- this time a chest x-ray. I am really glad everyone is being so careful, but I cannot help but wonder how much all of this is costing... and how much is too much? I will have to add up all the insurance statements one of these days -- but not today.
I have officially started my leave of absence from work. The first stop on the pre-op visit trail was with the surgeon. She did a great job going through in painstaking detail the procedure and risks again. Her colleague will be assisting -- it is nice to know two surgeons who have both done this many, many times will be in the operating room. The anesthesiologist is more involved than I had realized also. He or she will be inserting a tube with a small balloon into the upper area of my stomach -- essentially to measure off what will become the new pouch. The surgeon has kind of a groovy machine (if you think of this as something being done to someone else :) ) that will simultaneously insert two rows of staples in the stomach and cut between them. Amazing. The largest of the 5 or 6 incisions she will be making is expected to be about half an inch wide. I love laparoscopy. She cautioned me again that she may have to open me all the way -- I am truly hoping this will not happen. She has not had to open anyone all the way up in a few years and I really do not want to break her record!!
I received my new medic alert bracelet yesterday. The RN for the program gave me a brochure for this online vendor and I like their stuff -- they are on the web at http://www.laurenshope.com/ if you are looking for anything along these lines. They engrave a plate and attach clasps on either side so you can change out the bracelet you use with it to match your wardrobe -- kinda fun. For my first one I got purple (what else?) and clear Swarovski crystals. I hope I never need anyone to use it -- but if I do I know I will be glad I have it!
Anyone that knows me well knows that I would not be satisfied with a "last supper" of hot and sour soup. After four months of protein drinks for breakfast and lunch and small dinners, I confess to three lovely splurges this week.
The first was a nice lunch with my colleagues kindly coordinated by Harry. Speaking of Harry, I am going to use my blog to shamelessly ask you to vote for his work. Harry's an amazing photographer. He created the wonderful image at the beginning of this blog entry. He is a finalist in the Aaron Brothers'"Show Us Your America" contest at: http://www.showusyouramerica.com/votes/n
The next was a lovely meal was dinner with my friend Belinda. What a wonderful evening! We started at her beautiful home visiting with her Bella -- a terrific cockapoo I freely admit to coveting greatly. We shared a fine feast at an Italian restaurant -- starting with Scoozi and some spicy sausage stuffed mushrooms before splitting some Prawns in Vodka-cream sauce over pasta and finishing with some incredible chocolate thing with vanilla ice cream. We couldn't finish it all but certainly enjoyed what we could.
The final splurge was last night -- a pastrami reuben sandwich. It was hard to choose between french fries or part of an eclair, but I finally settled for a salad instead of the fries and went for the share of the eclair. Surprisingly enough to me, my ability to eat all that comfortably has already changed... but the tastes were delicious. :)
I am finding myself surprising less apprehensive than I expected at this point -- but note there are still a couple of days left to stress out in. I am certain part of the reason is all of the support my friends and family have been providing. I think I am one of the luckiest people in the world! My Jewish friends said prayers for me at Temple as they welcomed the new year; my Christian friends are lighting candles as they say prayers for me at Church, and my alternate-spirituality friends are sending me great ideas for visualizing white, purple and pink light to bathe myself in love as I go under... who could ever ask for more? I am indeed truly blessed by all of you -- thank you.
Monday, September 14, 2009
"Godspeed your love to me"
Day 132
As Belinda so aptly put it when I got "THE" date a couple of hours ago: "Holy CRAP!" A week from tomorrow, Tuesday, 9/22 at 8:30 AM PDT start sending good vibes my way as that's when they'll wheel me into the surgical suite to start the next phase of this journey.
I'm really excited and a wee bit apprehensive now. This is an irreversible decision once I go under. At the pre-op prep class last week they had us sign the surgery authorization with all of the warnings including the big D (death) thing and the reminder that you will not be able to consume the same same size meals as you can today. Three 1-3 ounce meals at first, and then three 3 ounce meals for a long time -- eventually 1-1.5 cups depending on the individual after a year or two. Considering that's part of my objective, the latter is a good thing. We're rooting for a pass on the first thing.
This week is going to be crazy -- an insane work load at the office; several hours doing pre-op stuff Wednesday and I bet a couple more things later in the week. After all these months of waiting it truly is now going to be rush rush rush. I suspect this is part of the strategy to keep people from changing their minds -- keep them too busy to worry too much.
I just heard the news that Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and am saddened by his passing. I have always had a bit of a crush on him... who could resist him in "Dirty Dancing" or "Ghost?" Remember this one?
Unchained Melody
Composed by Alex North with lyrics by Hy Zaret
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
Lonely rivers flow to the sea,
to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'
I'll be coming home wait for me
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
Please Godspeed your love and good thoughts to me next week! You know I send them back a hundred-fold.
The Righteous Brothers perform 'Unchained Melody' (YouTube video)
As Belinda so aptly put it when I got "THE" date a couple of hours ago: "Holy CRAP!" A week from tomorrow, Tuesday, 9/22 at 8:30 AM PDT start sending good vibes my way as that's when they'll wheel me into the surgical suite to start the next phase of this journey.
I'm really excited and a wee bit apprehensive now. This is an irreversible decision once I go under. At the pre-op prep class last week they had us sign the surgery authorization with all of the warnings including the big D (death) thing and the reminder that you will not be able to consume the same same size meals as you can today. Three 1-3 ounce meals at first, and then three 3 ounce meals for a long time -- eventually 1-1.5 cups depending on the individual after a year or two. Considering that's part of my objective, the latter is a good thing. We're rooting for a pass on the first thing.
This week is going to be crazy -- an insane work load at the office; several hours doing pre-op stuff Wednesday and I bet a couple more things later in the week. After all these months of waiting it truly is now going to be rush rush rush. I suspect this is part of the strategy to keep people from changing their minds -- keep them too busy to worry too much.
I just heard the news that Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer and am saddened by his passing. I have always had a bit of a crush on him... who could resist him in "Dirty Dancing" or "Ghost?" Remember this one?
Unchained Melody
Composed by Alex North with lyrics by Hy Zaret
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
Lonely rivers flow to the sea,
to the sea
to the open arms of the sea
lonely rivers sigh 'wait for me, wait for me'
I'll be coming home wait for me
Oh, my love
my darling
I've hungered for your touch
a long lonely time
and time goes by so slowly
and time can do so much
are you still mine?
I need your love
I need your love
Godspeed your love to me
Please Godspeed your love and good thoughts to me next week! You know I send them back a hundred-fold.
The Righteous Brothers perform 'Unchained Melody' (YouTube video)
Saturday, September 12, 2009
I need to set the kitchen timer...
“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual” - Phyllis Diller
Day 130
I definitely need an attitude adjustment today -- we'll have to work on that!
It has started off the perfect way to go with my mood -- a crazy, and very unusual for here, LOUD thunderstorm woke me up. I had really hoped for some extra sleep this morning as my work day started at 6 AM yesterday and we all know what a morning person I am NOT. I worked a very frustrating 13 hours and didn't accomplish half of what I needed to do so am looking forward to a lot more tedious work this weekend to try to get at least half way caught up for some critical Monday deadlines. Yuck yuck yuck.
I should be elated -- I received insurance authorization for my surgery late yesterday afternoon. Perhaps I am ungrateful, but what a pain it was to get it!! I spoke with my surgeon's office Thursday and was told basically to go away and they'd let me know when they receive approval -- you know how that would not work for me. So I called the insurance company and was able to sleuth out my case manager. Good thing I did...
She started the conversation off with a we have until Friday to get back to your surgeon within our service level agreements. I said great, that's tomorrow -- how's it going. She paused, and then agreed to do some more research. Came back on the line a couple of minutes later with a whole new attitude -- a most apologetic one. She had forgotten to assign me for review. Sigh. So had I not called, who knows when this would have finally been done. She promised my surgeon would hear from them the next day (yesterday) and we parted ways.
3 PM comes and goes yesterday so I called the surgeon's office and they still hadn't heard. Called the insurance company and actually got the case manager on the first try (took a dozen attempts Thursday -- you know I wasn't going to leave a voice mail message for her to call me back). Went through the whole thing again -- then remembered me apparently from the day before -- put me on hold, came back with congratulations -- you've been approved. Like I'd won the lotto or something. Said surgeon would be called before end of day (which was rapidly approaching). Also said she showed an admission date of October 3 (a Saturday -- seems a bit odd) and discharge date of October 5. I told her I expected it to be earlier and she said no problem, just let her know the new dates to update the file.
Called the surgeon's office and they said they couldn't do anything without something in writing from the insurance company. Sigh again. No one trusts or believes anyone, do they?
While we were chatting my cell phone rang. Put the surgeon's office on hold and it was the coordinator from the Valley Care program saying they'd just heard from the surgeon's office and I'd been authorized for surgery. Apparently the ladies at the surgeon's office don't speak to one another!! I thanked the coordinator, got back on the line with the surgeon's office and was told they were having a bad day and that since the other lady knew what was going on she would have to call me back Monday and couldn't schedule anything until then.
Oh well, what's one more weekend of waiting? A lot to me, I'll admit. Today is 130 days since I started this and it seems absurd that I still don't have a definitive date. It is so difficult to plan anything, but I'm doing the best I can. I ordered my cough buddy and my first medic alert bracelet (purple of course!) so two more things off that prep list. Still a bunch to do.
Fingers crossed that Monday I'll be able to post a definitive surgery date... and hopefully one in September. I find it difficult to think the surgeon would schedule a Saturday procedure!
Day 130
I definitely need an attitude adjustment today -- we'll have to work on that!
It has started off the perfect way to go with my mood -- a crazy, and very unusual for here, LOUD thunderstorm woke me up. I had really hoped for some extra sleep this morning as my work day started at 6 AM yesterday and we all know what a morning person I am NOT. I worked a very frustrating 13 hours and didn't accomplish half of what I needed to do so am looking forward to a lot more tedious work this weekend to try to get at least half way caught up for some critical Monday deadlines. Yuck yuck yuck.
I should be elated -- I received insurance authorization for my surgery late yesterday afternoon. Perhaps I am ungrateful, but what a pain it was to get it!! I spoke with my surgeon's office Thursday and was told basically to go away and they'd let me know when they receive approval -- you know how that would not work for me. So I called the insurance company and was able to sleuth out my case manager. Good thing I did...
She started the conversation off with a we have until Friday to get back to your surgeon within our service level agreements. I said great, that's tomorrow -- how's it going. She paused, and then agreed to do some more research. Came back on the line a couple of minutes later with a whole new attitude -- a most apologetic one. She had forgotten to assign me for review. Sigh. So had I not called, who knows when this would have finally been done. She promised my surgeon would hear from them the next day (yesterday) and we parted ways.
3 PM comes and goes yesterday so I called the surgeon's office and they still hadn't heard. Called the insurance company and actually got the case manager on the first try (took a dozen attempts Thursday -- you know I wasn't going to leave a voice mail message for her to call me back). Went through the whole thing again -- then remembered me apparently from the day before -- put me on hold, came back with congratulations -- you've been approved. Like I'd won the lotto or something. Said surgeon would be called before end of day (which was rapidly approaching). Also said she showed an admission date of October 3 (a Saturday -- seems a bit odd) and discharge date of October 5. I told her I expected it to be earlier and she said no problem, just let her know the new dates to update the file.
Called the surgeon's office and they said they couldn't do anything without something in writing from the insurance company. Sigh again. No one trusts or believes anyone, do they?
While we were chatting my cell phone rang. Put the surgeon's office on hold and it was the coordinator from the Valley Care program saying they'd just heard from the surgeon's office and I'd been authorized for surgery. Apparently the ladies at the surgeon's office don't speak to one another!! I thanked the coordinator, got back on the line with the surgeon's office and was told they were having a bad day and that since the other lady knew what was going on she would have to call me back Monday and couldn't schedule anything until then.
Oh well, what's one more weekend of waiting? A lot to me, I'll admit. Today is 130 days since I started this and it seems absurd that I still don't have a definitive date. It is so difficult to plan anything, but I'm doing the best I can. I ordered my cough buddy and my first medic alert bracelet (purple of course!) so two more things off that prep list. Still a bunch to do.
Fingers crossed that Monday I'll be able to post a definitive surgery date... and hopefully one in September. I find it difficult to think the surgeon would schedule a Saturday procedure!
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
“Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science”
“Unbeknownst to most historians, Einstein started down the road of professional basketball before an ankle injury diverted him to science” -- Gary Larson
Day 127
What an awful weekend I had! Thankfully I feel great today and hopefully this "incident" will soon be behind me. It doesn't really fit the journey per se, other than to record why I'm a week of exercise, but does go to show life doesn't always go the way we plan once again.
It would have to start on the first day of a three-day weekend when the only way to see the doctor is to go to the ER (and I was so not going to the ER on a holiday weekend unless I was literally dying!). At first there was irritating, but minor pain on the side of my left foot -- within a few hours it zipped up to excruciating -- I'd call it a 9 on the 1-1o scale. We had some leftover #3 Tylenol with codeines so those got me through the night. I spoke to the on call doctor Sunday who said effectively suck it up or go to the ER -- as expected.
Kept it elevated and periodically iced until I could get into my great new PCP yesterday morning. She took me in as her first patient. John was (as you'd expect) great through all of this else I don't know how I would have survived -- I literally could not even get out of my chair without help and had to use a walking stick to hobble around. Stairs were fun -- John on one side and the stick on the other.
Anyway, my PCP said there was a possibility of a stress fracture as I've increased my walking in the last few weeks, but likely it was either a recurrence of gout or some other inflammation. Plan was to xray it to rule out the former and to take 3 days of prednisone (since I can't take any anti-inflammatories this close to surgery) in case of the latter.
So next stop was the hospital. I love SRRMC -- everyone there is great. Lots of teasing for John and I thanks to my walking stick -- hey lady, did you kick him instead of using the stick stuff. As I dreaded, I had to climb up onto an awfully high xray table and put my foot into all kinds of unbearable positions for xrays. I looked at the scrawny tech who offered to help me up and kindly laughed at him. Put my hand on the footstool and said out loud "just suck it up and do it." He was awesome -- said his wife would kill him if he said that. Finally managed to get through it all and with his help sit back up and get back down and then hobble back to the car with John's help.
Next stop was the pharmacy. I know prednisone's side affects are awful, but OMG, I understand now why so many people become addicted to it and why my doctor only gave me a 3-day supply. Other than some hobbling (walking-stick free I might add) today, I feel like I'm in my 20's again. My shoulder that's hurt for almost 2 years now feels great! No wonder athletes love steroids. I feel like I can do almost anything (other than clean the outside of my house -- Fern, you've got to be kidding!).
Thankfully my PCP warned me the prednisone would play havoc with my blood sugar. I have it under really good control and generally have fasting numbers under 100. This morning it was 201 -- yikes! It hasn't been that high in over a decade. So I shot a little extra insulin this morning -- and then an hour later crashed. What a pain -- it dropped to 42 (should be above 60). So I rescued myself and called my (wonderful) endocrinologist. He told me not to worry -- let it go (as long as it stays under 300) and by Friday it should be back to normal. Although not optimal, it won't hurt for just a few days.
John and I attended the pre-op/post-up combined support group session last night again. As anticipated, more good info was shared. One of the pre-op patients asked about hair loss. I'm glad they did as it's a definite concern of mine. Unfortunately it was confirmed that most of the post-ops there did experience this problem. The facilitator noted 50% of people undergoing rapid weight loss do in spite of keeping their protein levels correct. This was a little disappointing to hear, but best to be forewarned. Thankfully it's usually just one growing cycle and comes back -- I recall this being a 3-6 month cycle. I suppose I can live with less hair for a few months for all of the other potential benefits.
Tomorrow's the pre-op prep class. Two hours -- shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully the exercise-nazi RN won't freak out too much over my non-existent exercise since Saturday or my likely weight gain from the prednisone (yes, I'm blowing up with fluid retention thanks to even this small course of treatment). I'm really glad now I've lost so much more weight pre-surgery than I was required to. We have our final weigh-in and review our exercise records as part of the session. Can't wait. Not. The rest I am looking forward to -- bowel prep (not! -- supposedly easier than a colonoscopy prep -- we'll see) instructions and post-op short-term expectations.
To close, I've never been particularly interested in basketball, but I have been in science. I wonder if this ankle thing will send me back to it? I'll have to ask Gary next time I see him. :)
Day 127
What an awful weekend I had! Thankfully I feel great today and hopefully this "incident" will soon be behind me. It doesn't really fit the journey per se, other than to record why I'm a week of exercise, but does go to show life doesn't always go the way we plan once again.
It would have to start on the first day of a three-day weekend when the only way to see the doctor is to go to the ER (and I was so not going to the ER on a holiday weekend unless I was literally dying!). At first there was irritating, but minor pain on the side of my left foot -- within a few hours it zipped up to excruciating -- I'd call it a 9 on the 1-1o scale. We had some leftover #3 Tylenol with codeines so those got me through the night. I spoke to the on call doctor Sunday who said effectively suck it up or go to the ER -- as expected.
Kept it elevated and periodically iced until I could get into my great new PCP yesterday morning. She took me in as her first patient. John was (as you'd expect) great through all of this else I don't know how I would have survived -- I literally could not even get out of my chair without help and had to use a walking stick to hobble around. Stairs were fun -- John on one side and the stick on the other.
Anyway, my PCP said there was a possibility of a stress fracture as I've increased my walking in the last few weeks, but likely it was either a recurrence of gout or some other inflammation. Plan was to xray it to rule out the former and to take 3 days of prednisone (since I can't take any anti-inflammatories this close to surgery) in case of the latter.
So next stop was the hospital. I love SRRMC -- everyone there is great. Lots of teasing for John and I thanks to my walking stick -- hey lady, did you kick him instead of using the stick stuff. As I dreaded, I had to climb up onto an awfully high xray table and put my foot into all kinds of unbearable positions for xrays. I looked at the scrawny tech who offered to help me up and kindly laughed at him. Put my hand on the footstool and said out loud "just suck it up and do it." He was awesome -- said his wife would kill him if he said that. Finally managed to get through it all and with his help sit back up and get back down and then hobble back to the car with John's help.
Next stop was the pharmacy. I know prednisone's side affects are awful, but OMG, I understand now why so many people become addicted to it and why my doctor only gave me a 3-day supply. Other than some hobbling (walking-stick free I might add) today, I feel like I'm in my 20's again. My shoulder that's hurt for almost 2 years now feels great! No wonder athletes love steroids. I feel like I can do almost anything (other than clean the outside of my house -- Fern, you've got to be kidding!).
Thankfully my PCP warned me the prednisone would play havoc with my blood sugar. I have it under really good control and generally have fasting numbers under 100. This morning it was 201 -- yikes! It hasn't been that high in over a decade. So I shot a little extra insulin this morning -- and then an hour later crashed. What a pain -- it dropped to 42 (should be above 60). So I rescued myself and called my (wonderful) endocrinologist. He told me not to worry -- let it go (as long as it stays under 300) and by Friday it should be back to normal. Although not optimal, it won't hurt for just a few days.
John and I attended the pre-op/post-up combined support group session last night again. As anticipated, more good info was shared. One of the pre-op patients asked about hair loss. I'm glad they did as it's a definite concern of mine. Unfortunately it was confirmed that most of the post-ops there did experience this problem. The facilitator noted 50% of people undergoing rapid weight loss do in spite of keeping their protein levels correct. This was a little disappointing to hear, but best to be forewarned. Thankfully it's usually just one growing cycle and comes back -- I recall this being a 3-6 month cycle. I suppose I can live with less hair for a few months for all of the other potential benefits.
Tomorrow's the pre-op prep class. Two hours -- shouldn't be too bad. Hopefully the exercise-nazi RN won't freak out too much over my non-existent exercise since Saturday or my likely weight gain from the prednisone (yes, I'm blowing up with fluid retention thanks to even this small course of treatment). I'm really glad now I've lost so much more weight pre-surgery than I was required to. We have our final weigh-in and review our exercise records as part of the session. Can't wait. Not. The rest I am looking forward to -- bowel prep (not! -- supposedly easier than a colonoscopy prep -- we'll see) instructions and post-op short-term expectations.
To close, I've never been particularly interested in basketball, but I have been in science. I wonder if this ankle thing will send me back to it? I'll have to ask Gary next time I see him. :)
Thursday, September 3, 2009
“For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream.”
"For my part I know nothing with any certainty, but the sight of the stars makes me dream." -- Vincent Van Gogh
Day 121
Well, it's official. That is, I'm officially in "pending" status. All of my surgical pre-requisites have been met from the program's perspective and they have indeed submitted the request for surgery approval to my insurance company. Best guess is that I'll have the procedure the week of 9/21; with some luck and speedy processing by insurance perhaps the week of 9/14.
I'll be going in next week for a 2 hour pre-op class, objectives of which are to learn more about preparing for the surgery and preparing for the first month afterwards. There's another support group next week too so I plan to go to that as well.
Yesterday I saw my sleep doctor and as much as I hate it, that darn machine makes me look statistically good now at least -- averaged only 3 stops to my breathing per hour on it vs. the old number that was around 90. The doctor thought the numbers were great, so I guess that's a good thing. He had tested some things through bloodwork that may have been causing some restless legs at night and all those tests came back pretty good too. The one "close" one was iron -- they recommend having a level of up to 50 and I'm at 53, so good enough, but he suggested it could be higher so I'll start some iron supplements now too.
I was successful in setting up the new wireless network at home over the weekend and the reception's great everywhere! Woohoo. I love technology when it works. Our new laptop is fabulous also -- really pleased with it. John built a groovy rolling laptop table for me last night, so I'm all set and can remain connected now when I get home from the hospital. Who could ask for more?
Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for the week of 9/14 -- that would be grand. Fingers crossed...
Day 121
Well, it's official. That is, I'm officially in "pending" status. All of my surgical pre-requisites have been met from the program's perspective and they have indeed submitted the request for surgery approval to my insurance company. Best guess is that I'll have the procedure the week of 9/21; with some luck and speedy processing by insurance perhaps the week of 9/14.
I'll be going in next week for a 2 hour pre-op class, objectives of which are to learn more about preparing for the surgery and preparing for the first month afterwards. There's another support group next week too so I plan to go to that as well.
Yesterday I saw my sleep doctor and as much as I hate it, that darn machine makes me look statistically good now at least -- averaged only 3 stops to my breathing per hour on it vs. the old number that was around 90. The doctor thought the numbers were great, so I guess that's a good thing. He had tested some things through bloodwork that may have been causing some restless legs at night and all those tests came back pretty good too. The one "close" one was iron -- they recommend having a level of up to 50 and I'm at 53, so good enough, but he suggested it could be higher so I'll start some iron supplements now too.
I was successful in setting up the new wireless network at home over the weekend and the reception's great everywhere! Woohoo. I love technology when it works. Our new laptop is fabulous also -- really pleased with it. John built a groovy rolling laptop table for me last night, so I'm all set and can remain connected now when I get home from the hospital. Who could ask for more?
Anyway, keep your fingers crossed for the week of 9/14 -- that would be grand. Fingers crossed...
Friday, August 28, 2009
"One step at a time"
"Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch...
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time"
- "One Step at a Time" - Jordin Sparks
Day 115
The "council" has voted me in... yay. I feel like a Survivor contestant -- this week they didn't vote me off the island. :)
The bad news is no surgery date, yet... sigh. The infamous letter that I will likely receive in a week (amazing how long it can take to travel less than 5 miles -- it goes to the hospital in Pleasanton, then to the hospital in Livermore and then into the actual US postal system it seems) has few requirements thankfully and all but one have already been fulfilled:
So now I guess I'm back in a hurry up and wait mode. The VC administrator did note that my insurance company generally responds very quickly, so my original hope of hearing next week about a date range is possible. They declined me within a day from the last group... the administrator said they are generally almost as fast to provide acceptances too, so we shall see.
On a different note, our first laptop was delivered today. I suspect we'll be spending part of the weekend trying to figure out how to install the new wireless network that was delivered yesterday. I'm thinking that during the first couple of weeks post-surgery it will be hard to use our steep stairs to get to and from the office where the wired network currently resides and you know me -- I can't go too long without a computer. :) We've been thinking about getting a laptop for a while for traveling and photography so this provided a great excuse. This one should be pretty cool -- it's more powerful than my desktop! Maybe Photoshop will actually run consistently without crashing on it. It is amazing how technology improves exponentially in such short periods of time -- good thing, else I might not make such a good living in the industry.
I hope you all have a great weekend! It looks like the weatherman is predicting much more comfortable temperatures for us. At 7 PM here it's still 98 degrees and humid as all get out -- something we definitely are not accustomed to in the Bay Area.
So close, but so far away
Everything that you always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch...
To take one step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly, or falling in love
It's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen
And we find the reasons why
One step at a time"
- "One Step at a Time" - Jordin Sparks
Day 115
The "council" has voted me in... yay. I feel like a Survivor contestant -- this week they didn't vote me off the island. :)
The bad news is no surgery date, yet... sigh. The infamous letter that I will likely receive in a week (amazing how long it can take to travel less than 5 miles -- it goes to the hospital in Pleasanton, then to the hospital in Livermore and then into the actual US postal system it seems) has few requirements thankfully and all but one have already been fulfilled:
- Fax pap smear test results to the Valley Care Weight Loss Surgery Program (VC). I called my gyn's office and the results just came back today. Thankfully the sample was good enough and even more thankfully the results were favorable -- woohoo.
- Start taking calcium citrate with vitamin D 3x/day. Started. It turns out my vitamin D levels were low in the test the old surgeon ordered but no one told me to do anything about it until I joined this program. Since this is a supplement that I'll have to take forever anyway I have started. This will be retested in 3 months and adjusted if needed -- not a surgery show stopper. They also recommend spending 15 minutes/day with your face and arms in the sun -- sounds like fun!
- Maintain weight loss. Love that! Maintain vs. must lose more is good, but I am going to continue to try to lose what I can -- I want that darn liver of mine to be small enough for the retractors to be able to lift it out of the way and came the procedure laparoscopic.
- Take their 8 online classes and pass each with 80% or higher -- just finished. Interestingly enough the focused primarily on psychology, behavior modification and exercise -- a lot of nutrition and pre-op/post-op stuff as expected.
- Letter of medical necessity from PCP. Holy cow -- how retarded is this. My endocrinologist referred me into this process to start with -- they've tested me from the top of my head to the tip of my toes and know every little issue I have or have ever had -- all well documented -- and now they want a letter from my PCP too? Seems like a bit of overkill at best. I know this won't be an issue, but it does seem like an absolute waste of time for all involved.
- Keep records of exercise.
- Attend a support group session -- done, and will continue to do.
So now I guess I'm back in a hurry up and wait mode. The VC administrator did note that my insurance company generally responds very quickly, so my original hope of hearing next week about a date range is possible. They declined me within a day from the last group... the administrator said they are generally almost as fast to provide acceptances too, so we shall see.
On a different note, our first laptop was delivered today. I suspect we'll be spending part of the weekend trying to figure out how to install the new wireless network that was delivered yesterday. I'm thinking that during the first couple of weeks post-surgery it will be hard to use our steep stairs to get to and from the office where the wired network currently resides and you know me -- I can't go too long without a computer. :) We've been thinking about getting a laptop for a while for traveling and photography so this provided a great excuse. This one should be pretty cool -- it's more powerful than my desktop! Maybe Photoshop will actually run consistently without crashing on it. It is amazing how technology improves exponentially in such short periods of time -- good thing, else I might not make such a good living in the industry.
I hope you all have a great weekend! It looks like the weatherman is predicting much more comfortable temperatures for us. At 7 PM here it's still 98 degrees and humid as all get out -- something we definitely are not accustomed to in the Bay Area.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise”
“What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise” - Oscar Wilde
Day 113
What a wonderful visit I had with my new surgeon this morning! She was even better than I remembered!! The epitome of quiet strength, an excellent communicator and highly empathic. Perhaps this insurance fiasco has been a blessing in disguise. Although I'm not sold on their program all the way, I am 150% sold on her, and in reality she is the single most important member of the team, right?
We had a great discussion. Their statistics have improved. Here are the numbers for post-op complications:
Day 113
What a wonderful visit I had with my new surgeon this morning! She was even better than I remembered!! The epitome of quiet strength, an excellent communicator and highly empathic. Perhaps this insurance fiasco has been a blessing in disguise. Although I'm not sold on their program all the way, I am 150% sold on her, and in reality she is the single most important member of the team, right?
We had a great discussion. Their statistics have improved. Here are the numbers for post-op complications:
- Leakage: <1%>
- Blood clots: <1%>
- Death: <1/500>
- Major complications: 3-6% vs. 10%
- Gallstones: 2-3% vs. 30% (she'll put me on medication for 6 months to try to prevent)
They've had 2% of their patients develop ulcers and less than 1% have blockages -- and she noted the blockages can be fixed laparoscopically.
As for my girth -- no worries. She said if I were male she'd feel differently, but my stomach is soft and I've lost more than enough weight so far to have her feel confident about this. She's also confident that we can do this all laparoscopically (although no guarantees of course). The last time she had to open someone up was several years ago and it was because her stomach was higher up than usual and she couldn't get the liver out of the way so had to partially open that patient up.
She also did a better job than the last surgeon evaluating me as an individual I think. She set the goal of getting me off of insulin, but said it's likely I'll be on oral meds forever because I've had the condition for so long. Same with blood pressure -- likely to always be on meds, but should be a lower dosage. Likely good bye to several others though. A nice dream!!
She also went on to say that there's a 97% chance that without the procedure I would be unable to sustain the weight loss and that it has nothing to do with willpower but rather hormones. A person that's 20 pounds overweight has different chemistry than someone like me -- the fat wants to protect itself at my level and yet with the surgery the chemistry is changed such that the hormonal balance changes to somewhat closer to a normal person's. Still not the same, so don't expect to ever be svelte, but do expect to be able to maintain a loss of at least half of my excess body weight. Not too bad I'd say!! And if I can exercise on top of that I should be able to do even better than that.
The final assessment is that I'm ready. She sees no need for more testing -- she felt the other surgeon was very thorough. I do have to spend $200 and take those darn classes. Oh well. She sees no reason why I shouldn't "pass" the "council" vote on Friday after which they'll submit the paperwork to my insurance company and schedule this thing -- with any luck for some time in September. That will lead to one more class for all of the patients that will have surgery in the next two weeks to get us ready for the big day and the first month thereafter.
Time off work will be 4-6 weeks -- perhaps 3 if I feel strong enough and/or work part time and/or from home. This is because I have such a short commute -- any longer and she'd stick to a minimum of 4 weeks. She recommends the full 4, so if I can "stand" it -- you know me -- I actually like working! -- perhaps I'll actually take the full 4 off. We'll see. It's too soon to think about that now.
John and I attended their support group last night. It was great to see so many post-op patients there! There were only a couple of pre-ops so we were able to ask lots of questions. One I asked was whether anyone had any ah-hahs after the procedure -- things they hadn't known or thought of but wished they had. Some interesting answers. One suggested not buying baby food -- it was awful. Puree my own. Good excuse for a new Vita Mixer! :) Another said don't do it the week before Thanksgiving -- the smells were awful for her. Another said she wasn't prepared for the emotional response she had when the reality that she'd never be eating the same set in. She got through it with the help of friends. I feel most fortunate knowing that I'll have all the help I'll need in you guys too!! Another said be ready to think differently about what you order in a restaurant -- not just the nutritional value, but the reheat value -- plan to eat that thing you order for 2 or 3 meals.
And the success stories were fun to hear too! One lady who was 3 months post op had just gotten back from Florida and not only did she fit in her airplane seat, but she didn't need a seat belt extender and she actually had 5" to spare on the regular seat belt! Another lady had just gotten back from a day at Disneyland where she went on all of the rides, fitting in her seat and having no problems securing the safety bars. Another more mature woman (one year post op) just rode on the Napa Wine train and was thrilled because she had no problem climbing in or out of the train. No wine, and she skipped the starches in her entree, but she ate her creme brulee. ;) One gentleman who was 5 years post op admitted he doesn't exercise "formally" but noted he's a lot more active overall than he was pre-op -- and he looked great. It was a good session overall -- and great having John's support there! :) 3 spouses attended which was nice.
Friday, August 21, 2009
“I do the very best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep on doing so until the end”
“I do the very best I know how, the very best I can, and I mean to keep on doing so until the end” - Abraham Lincoln
Day 108
Kismet? I remembered the name of the gynecologist that helped me with my horrible ovary problem 12 years ago at 4:59 PM last night. I had really liked him, but he stopped taking HMO coverage shortly after the procedure back then so I had to leave him. This year we switched to an EPO (Exclusive Provider Organization -- kind of like a PPO, but although more restrictive, way lower out of pocket costs). Tried calling but of course the staff had already switched the phone over to their answering service.
I tried again this morning shortly after they opened, and although he wasn't in today his Nurse Practitioner (NP) was and had just had a 10:30 AM cancellation -- else I'd have to wait a few weeks. Thankfully I was successful today (for a change!) in my quest to keep Fridays meeting free to catch up on email and other work, so was able to jump on the opportunity to go see her.
She was great! I know computers are wonderful too since they help me earn a decent paycheck, and in this case they came through for me again as the office had automated patient records -- even those from 12 years ago -- so she knew my ancient history and I only had to update her on recent developments. The bad news is we only have a 50/50 chance of having gotten a good enough sample for the Pap smear as my anatomy's challenging to work with -- for once not because of my weight, but because of just plain old aging and how I'm built. She was so encouraging though!! We have to wait about a week for the results, (here we go again!), but if it wasn't good enough she'll make sure I can get into the doctor quickly and we'll figure out a plan B. I love her confidence -- she said (although I realize she has no real influence) that we won't let this stupid test be the one thing that gets in the way of moving forward. A woman after my own heart!! :)
My new PCP just called with the latest Lab results. Creatinine still normal, BUN still a little high and sodium almost normal (134 vs. range of 135 -146). Directions are to keep on keeping on -- continue eating per the plan, liberalizing salt slightly and sticking with the high protein diet.
I thumbed through the binder that I was provided with yesterday describing the Valley Care program and was pleasantly surprised to see all of the slides for the $200 class were printed and included. Of course I'm even more irritated because as suspected it is all duplicative, but at least I can read through it over this new week and take the test (have to pass with 80% -- worse than my PMP!) as soon as they accept me into the program officially (or as yesterday's RN would have put it "if" they accept me).
I forgot to post a couple of other new action item yesterday.
Day 108
Kismet? I remembered the name of the gynecologist that helped me with my horrible ovary problem 12 years ago at 4:59 PM last night. I had really liked him, but he stopped taking HMO coverage shortly after the procedure back then so I had to leave him. This year we switched to an EPO (Exclusive Provider Organization -- kind of like a PPO, but although more restrictive, way lower out of pocket costs). Tried calling but of course the staff had already switched the phone over to their answering service.
I tried again this morning shortly after they opened, and although he wasn't in today his Nurse Practitioner (NP) was and had just had a 10:30 AM cancellation -- else I'd have to wait a few weeks. Thankfully I was successful today (for a change!) in my quest to keep Fridays meeting free to catch up on email and other work, so was able to jump on the opportunity to go see her.
She was great! I know computers are wonderful too since they help me earn a decent paycheck, and in this case they came through for me again as the office had automated patient records -- even those from 12 years ago -- so she knew my ancient history and I only had to update her on recent developments. The bad news is we only have a 50/50 chance of having gotten a good enough sample for the Pap smear as my anatomy's challenging to work with -- for once not because of my weight, but because of just plain old aging and how I'm built. She was so encouraging though!! We have to wait about a week for the results, (here we go again!), but if it wasn't good enough she'll make sure I can get into the doctor quickly and we'll figure out a plan B. I love her confidence -- she said (although I realize she has no real influence) that we won't let this stupid test be the one thing that gets in the way of moving forward. A woman after my own heart!! :)
My new PCP just called with the latest Lab results. Creatinine still normal, BUN still a little high and sodium almost normal (134 vs. range of 135 -146). Directions are to keep on keeping on -- continue eating per the plan, liberalizing salt slightly and sticking with the high protein diet.
I thumbed through the binder that I was provided with yesterday describing the Valley Care program and was pleasantly surprised to see all of the slides for the $200 class were printed and included. Of course I'm even more irritated because as suspected it is all duplicative, but at least I can read through it over this new week and take the test (have to pass with 80% -- worse than my PMP!) as soon as they accept me into the program officially (or as yesterday's RN would have put it "if" they accept me).
I forgot to post a couple of other new action item yesterday.
- I have to contact my pharmacist and go through my meds with them to make sure the form is proper. I can't swallow anything over 10mm for the first few months. If they're too big and not cutable or crushable I have to contact my PCP and get the delivery mechanism revised.
- I have to start practicing extending every meal's consumption time to 30 minutes -- even liquid ones. Apparently this is a guideline for all of us -- it takes 30 minutes for food to hit our stomachs and for us to know we're full.
- I have to start practicing eating without an accompanying beverage and waiting for an hour to start drinking again. The new pouch will only hold 2 or 3 ounces of food at first so a) there's not enough room for food and water and b) you don't want to risk washing the food out and losing the sense of fullness or nutritive value it provides.
- I have to start practicing chewing food to the consistency of applesauce -- any large particles are likely to cause a stricture -- not a good thing obviously.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.”
“The key to everything is patience. You get the chicken by hatching the egg, not by smashing it.” - Arnold H. Glasgow
Day 107
I'm beginning to wonder if I am supposed to be learning a lesson about patience through this process. Smashing a few chickens sounds like more fun right now!!
It is so hard to move from a facility that I loved and trusted to a new one. And having to repeat some of the process is so frustrating!! I had a somewhat discouraging afternoon. I had such high hopes as the office administrator was great on the phone (and in person today)... but that was the only big highlight. I saw the RD first and clearly she has her spiel down pat -- and God forbid she miss a moment of it. She started off by acknowledging I probably learned all this already, but... and then launched in an hour telling me everything I already knew. $120 for that hour -- yikes. Had I not already been through 3 classes and paid for a one on one with a different RD (who by the way only charged $90) it might not have been so discouraging -- this RD was obviously knowledgeable and a clear communicator, but I have been.
Next an hour and a half with the RN that runs the program. A former bariatric patient herself, you'd think she'd be empathetic and helpful... not my impression of her at all I'm sorry to say. She didn't share the fact she'd been through the procedure until about an hour after I got there -- I would have sworn she had no clue about how it felt to be sitting on my side of her desk. Thankfully she blew through the "formal" presentation; however, then she spent seemingly forever reviewing my medical history and sharing all of their center's rules with me. OMG. She kept saying how hard it was to fast track anyone and threw up roadblocks all over the place. By the time she'd gotten through all of the clearances my prior surgeon had required she backed off a little and actually acknowledged how thorough the other program had been.
They're even more thorough though it seems. We'll see if the surgeon adds anything to the list, but right now these are my "new" prerequisites that have yet to be met:
Day 107
I'm beginning to wonder if I am supposed to be learning a lesson about patience through this process. Smashing a few chickens sounds like more fun right now!!
It is so hard to move from a facility that I loved and trusted to a new one. And having to repeat some of the process is so frustrating!! I had a somewhat discouraging afternoon. I had such high hopes as the office administrator was great on the phone (and in person today)... but that was the only big highlight. I saw the RD first and clearly she has her spiel down pat -- and God forbid she miss a moment of it. She started off by acknowledging I probably learned all this already, but... and then launched in an hour telling me everything I already knew. $120 for that hour -- yikes. Had I not already been through 3 classes and paid for a one on one with a different RD (who by the way only charged $90) it might not have been so discouraging -- this RD was obviously knowledgeable and a clear communicator, but I have been.
Next an hour and a half with the RN that runs the program. A former bariatric patient herself, you'd think she'd be empathetic and helpful... not my impression of her at all I'm sorry to say. She didn't share the fact she'd been through the procedure until about an hour after I got there -- I would have sworn she had no clue about how it felt to be sitting on my side of her desk. Thankfully she blew through the "formal" presentation; however, then she spent seemingly forever reviewing my medical history and sharing all of their center's rules with me. OMG. She kept saying how hard it was to fast track anyone and threw up roadblocks all over the place. By the time she'd gotten through all of the clearances my prior surgeon had required she backed off a little and actually acknowledged how thorough the other program had been.
They're even more thorough though it seems. We'll see if the surgeon adds anything to the list, but right now these are my "new" prerequisites that have yet to be met:
- "Prove" I've lost enough weight to date. Thankfully this was easy thanks to my wonderful endocrinologist's staff -- they faxed "proof" of my April weight over late this afternoon. The other facility had actually believed me.
- Do some more bloodwork (sigh). Easy enough, but what a pain. Literally!
- Start recording daily exercise.
- Increase daily exercise. (OK, this one's fair, and hopefully with that darn wound healed now this won't be as hard as it was).
- Meet with the surgeon as planned (thank Heaven!) next week and see what else she may require.
- "Pass" the "council" vote for my suitability for the procedure next Friday. The "council" comprises the surgeon, the RD, the RN and the psychologist (at least I know I already passed the psych screening a couple of months ago).
- Spend $200 to take their on line class (and pass the exam) to make sure I understand what I'm getting into. This is probably the single most annoying part. Like I haven't already been to 3 classes in Oakland (that were free by the way) and hadn't just sat through another 2.5 hours of lectures and hadn't already read several books and talked to several people who have had the procedure performed... And oh by the way, I can't give them my money an start on this unless (that word was used several times) I "pass" the "council" vote.
- Get a Pap smear. This is likely the second worst roadblock -- every GYN in the area seems to be booked solid for a month. Tomorrow I'll try to recruit some help from my PCP and/or endocrinologist in recommending a colleague that they might help plead my case with. One can't help but wonder what the $(@% my cervix has to do with a gastric bypass though...
- And the worst roadblock of all -- totally impossible in a short period of time and one of the main reason's I'm doing this in the first place -- lose 7" from my girth. Holy cow!! Might as well be 7' (and no, I'm not 7' in circumference yet!). NONE of the literature I've read anywhere has had a maximum girth requirement -- and of course this wasn't a requirement for the Oakland facility. My reaction to this elicited the only moment of semi-empathy she exhibited. She stated that "sometimes" the surgeon makes an exception if everything else is OK and your abdomen is "soft" enough. My widest girth point is below the point where most of the incisions are made on the charts and videos I've seen, and fairly soft IMHO, so hopefully the surgeon will "let me get by" with this. Sheesh.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
..."the medical-care system is second to none in the world..."
“We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it” - Dave Barry
Day 106
Good news on the surgeon front: her assistant called this morning to let me know that the surgeon is letting her "squeeze" me in as a "rescreen" vs. a new patient. She had me have the Oakland folks fax everything to her to plead my case for this and was successful. It's great working with people who know the system and are willing to help you navigate it, isn't it? :)
I'm retesting my kidney functions and sodium this afternoon (assuming I can make it out of the office by 4 PM as lab closes at 5). Fingers crossed!!
Day 106
Good news on the surgeon front: her assistant called this morning to let me know that the surgeon is letting her "squeeze" me in as a "rescreen" vs. a new patient. She had me have the Oakland folks fax everything to her to plead my case for this and was successful. It's great working with people who know the system and are willing to help you navigate it, isn't it? :)
I'm retesting my kidney functions and sodium this afternoon (assuming I can make it out of the office by 4 PM as lab closes at 5). Fingers crossed!!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
"The prompter the refusal, the less the disappointment"
"The prompter the refusal, the less the disappointment" - Publilius Syrus (Roman author, 1st century B.C.)
Day 105
The insurance company outright refused my surgery at Alta Bates/Summit. They said my "contract" allows me to go to one of two places in Northern California -- either Valley Care in Pleasanton or UCSF -- and the AB/S staff shared with me the news that the surgeon at UCSF just quit. Oh well, I guess it's good it only took them a day to let us know -- of course what I'm really wondering is why the AB/S staff didn't determine this back in May when the initially sought approval for me to have the procedure. My "contract" has been the same since 1/1/09.
And before you ask, yes, I asked if there was any possibility of an appeal. The answer was a very direct "no." It seems crazy to me -- the surgeon's covered and the hospital's cover, but even thought they're a certified Center of Excellence (COE) for Bariatric surgery, they're not explicitly called out as approved in my "contract." (big SIGH)
The only upside is that the surgeon that started the COE at Valley Care in Pleasanton is Mary Estakhri and I met her 12 years ago. She was an awesome surgeon then and likely is even better now. I had a fortunately benign breast tumor that she removed for me back then, doing such a great job that you can barely see the scar if you know where to look. Unfortunately her reputation precedes her and she's booked for new patient intake visits all the way until 9/16 -- 6 days after I was hoping to have the surgery. I spoke with her assistant and she is going to try to get me in earlier -- hopefully I will know tomorrow.
I have to see the VC COE nurse and nutritionist also before I can proceed. Thankfully there are openings to see them this Thursday afternoon so I will do so then. Hopefully those are the only repeats I’ll have to do. Best case scenario I think I can hope for now is October or November surgery again... I hope my original December target doesn't become reality.
I guess there is one more upside -- that is that this is so close to home -- no more trips to the big, bad city.
On a different couple of notes -- best news all day: I have been officially discharged from wound care treatment and am officially designated as healed. The skin is very tender and I'll have to be careful, but else-wise all is well.
I have officially survived one year with my employer now as of today too -- something in this economy that I can say I am very happy about. I am hopeful that things will continue to get better and all of us that want to work can do so.
Day 105
The insurance company outright refused my surgery at Alta Bates/Summit. They said my "contract" allows me to go to one of two places in Northern California -- either Valley Care in Pleasanton or UCSF -- and the AB/S staff shared with me the news that the surgeon at UCSF just quit.
And before you ask, yes, I asked if there was any possibility of an appeal. The answer was a very direct "no." It seems crazy to me -- the surgeon's covered and the hospital's cover, but even thought they're a certified Center of Excellence (COE) for Bariatric surgery, they're not explicitly called out as approved in my "contract." (big SIGH)
The only upside is that the surgeon that started the COE at Valley Care in Pleasanton is Mary Estakhri and I met her 12 years ago. She was an awesome surgeon then and likely is even better now. I had a fortunately benign breast tumor that she removed for me back then, doing such a great job that you can barely see the scar if you know where to look. Unfortunately her reputation precedes her and she's booked for new patient intake visits all the way until 9/16 -- 6 days after I was hoping to have the surgery. I spoke with her assistant and she is going to try to get me in earlier -- hopefully I will know tomorrow.
I have to see the VC COE nurse and nutritionist also before I can proceed. Thankfully there are openings to see them this Thursday afternoon so I will do so then. Hopefully those are the only repeats I’ll have to do. Best case scenario I think I can hope for now is October or November surgery again... I hope my original December target doesn't become reality.
I guess there is one more upside -- that is that this is so close to home -- no more trips to the big, bad city.
On a different couple of notes -- best news all day: I have been officially discharged from wound care treatment and am officially designated as healed. The skin is very tender and I'll have to be careful, but else-wise all is well.
I have officially survived one year with my employer now as of today too -- something in this economy that I can say I am very happy about. I am hopeful that things will continue to get better and all of us that want to work can do so.
Monday, August 17, 2009
"Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it."
"Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it." - Unknown
Day 104
I have a tentative surgery date: September 10. Woohoo (I think!)!!
Key dependency is insurance approval. The scheduler/coordinator noted my insurance provider is pretty good. Apparently they turn these around in about 5 working days and she is sending it today. So perhaps next week this will become un-tentative.
Wow. This is really exciting, but the reality of what I am planning has just become a little scarier too.
Day 104
I have a tentative surgery date: September 10. Woohoo (I think!)!!
Key dependency is insurance approval. The scheduler/coordinator noted my insurance provider is pretty good. Apparently they turn these around in about 5 working days and she is sending it today. So perhaps next week this will become un-tentative.
Wow. This is really exciting, but the reality of what I am planning has just become a little scarier too.
Friday, August 14, 2009
"All the knowledge I possess everyone can acquire, but my heart is all my own."
"All the knowledge I possess everyone can acquire, but my heart is all my own." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Day 101
And my heart is "normal" -- woohoo!! I received cardiac clearance for the surgery yesterday -- conceivably, insurance company and surgery-suite availability notwithstanding, I may have this procedure performed in September. This was the last major milestone. What a relief!! The cardiologist's office sent the clearance letter to the surgeon's office yesterday, so with any luck at all this may be scheduled next week -- we will see.
I also received my blood lab results. Not awful, but not perfect. Creatinine at 0.91 in range of 0.6-1.1 -- perfect! The BUN (blood urea nitrogen) still high at 33 (range of 7-25). Not awful, like I said. A new anomaly showed up -- low sodium now. My PCP's prescription is so doctor-like, I love it, "Liberalize salt slightly." Never in my life did I think I'd hear a doctor tell me to increase my sodium intake!! It's great though. John made a wonderful high protein dinner last night with zucchini and peppers straight from his garden. I thoroughly enjoyed grinding a few sprinkles of some lovely sea salt on top of it!!!
So I will have to continue drinking water and peeing like crazy!! I am really enjoying the Smart Water a friend suggested -- it does taste wonderful. I found it on Amazon with free shipping so I don't have to haul those heavy cases home from the market. It's great having it delivered right to our front door.
Thanks to everyone who keeps providing me with such wonderful encouragement and support. Please continue to keep your fingers crossed and keep good thoughts coming my body's way for rapid scheduling now. It would be great to be able to be through some of the worst of the after-surgery re-learning to eat by the holidays. If it's not meant to be, it's not, but I sure can hope now! :)
Day 101
And my heart is "normal" -- woohoo!! I received cardiac clearance for the surgery yesterday -- conceivably, insurance company and surgery-suite availability notwithstanding, I may have this procedure performed in September. This was the last major milestone. What a relief!! The cardiologist's office sent the clearance letter to the surgeon's office yesterday, so with any luck at all this may be scheduled next week -- we will see.
I also received my blood lab results. Not awful, but not perfect. Creatinine at 0.91 in range of 0.6-1.1 -- perfect! The BUN (blood urea nitrogen) still high at 33 (range of 7-25). Not awful, like I said. A new anomaly showed up -- low sodium now. My PCP's prescription is so doctor-like, I love it, "Liberalize salt slightly." Never in my life did I think I'd hear a doctor tell me to increase my sodium intake!! It's great though. John made a wonderful high protein dinner last night with zucchini and peppers straight from his garden. I thoroughly enjoyed grinding a few sprinkles of some lovely sea salt on top of it!!!
So I will have to continue drinking water and peeing like crazy!! I am really enjoying the Smart Water a friend suggested -- it does taste wonderful. I found it on Amazon with free shipping so I don't have to haul those heavy cases home from the market. It's great having it delivered right to our front door.
Thanks to everyone who keeps providing me with such wonderful encouragement and support. Please continue to keep your fingers crossed and keep good thoughts coming my body's way for rapid scheduling now. It would be great to be able to be through some of the worst of the after-surgery re-learning to eat by the holidays. If it's not meant to be, it's not, but I sure can hope now! :)
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
"Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any"
"Sleep is like the unicorn - it is rumored to exist, but I doubt I will see any"
— Anonymous
Day 98
I picked up my new demon bi-pap machine yesterday morning and started using it last night. I fear sleeping in bed is going to be as elusive as those unicorns I've always loved... if last night is any example.
I found it "OK" in my recliner. I experienced some useful sleep there... and then in the middle of the night I made my usual transition to the bed and it was all over. John was great, encouraging me and giving me some advice from his own original few nights, but unfortunately that didn't help. I struggled to calm down enough to breathe a little while lying on my back, but as soon as I rolled over (and I am a side-sleeper) I felt like I was suffocating.
I think I may pass on the attempt tonight in hopes that I can acclimate myself sufficiently in the recliner to the sensations of forced breathing through my nose in hopes of feeling a little more refreshed tomorrow morning. It's a darn good thing that I have motivation in the prospective surgery or I'd probably exercise the 30 day return option and keep on with my seeming inability to breathe properly while I sleep.
I went to the Lab today and had blood drawn for the kidney function retests and the tests the sleep doctor ordered (iron and B12). The tech was able to draw on her second attempt after digging around a little too long on my hand the first time. Ouch. I drank tons of fluids today (as I have been), so fingers crossed that the kidney function is good this time and I don't show any signs of dehydration.
I am looking forward to Thursday and my return to the cardiologist for the results of the stress test. This is the last major hurdle for my approvals, so keep your fingers crossed on this one too please!! :)
— Anonymous
Day 98
I picked up my new demon bi-pap machine yesterday morning and started using it last night. I fear sleeping in bed is going to be as elusive as those unicorns I've always loved... if last night is any example.
I found it "OK" in my recliner. I experienced some useful sleep there... and then in the middle of the night I made my usual transition to the bed and it was all over. John was great, encouraging me and giving me some advice from his own original few nights, but unfortunately that didn't help. I struggled to calm down enough to breathe a little while lying on my back, but as soon as I rolled over (and I am a side-sleeper) I felt like I was suffocating.
I think I may pass on the attempt tonight in hopes that I can acclimate myself sufficiently in the recliner to the sensations of forced breathing through my nose in hopes of feeling a little more refreshed tomorrow morning. It's a darn good thing that I have motivation in the prospective surgery or I'd probably exercise the 30 day return option and keep on with my seeming inability to breathe properly while I sleep.
I went to the Lab today and had blood drawn for the kidney function retests and the tests the sleep doctor ordered (iron and B12). The tech was able to draw on her second attempt after digging around a little too long on my hand the first time. Ouch. I drank tons of fluids today (as I have been), so fingers crossed that the kidney function is good this time and I don't show any signs of dehydration.
I am looking forward to Thursday and my return to the cardiologist for the results of the stress test. This is the last major hurdle for my approvals, so keep your fingers crossed on this one too please!! :)
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